Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Senryu (steps in the hallway)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
32 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
We fear that Daddy is abusing his little girl, but she is far too frightened to tell anyone. It will happen again and again, and only years from now will she tell the story.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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We fear that Daddy is abusing his little girl, but she is far too frightened to tell anyone. It will happen again and again, and only years from now will she tell the story.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
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thank you very much for the nice review, my friend :) Have a great day!
gypsy
Comment from Sis Cat
Gypsy, I thought about your true horror haiku since I read it yesterday. Your story of child sexual abuse by a father is haunting. You well selected your words to tell the ultimate horror in a way that gripped my imagination and heart. Thank you for sharing and even more for shedding a light on this despicable crime by focusing on the trauma that the victim experiences from her point of view.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Gypsy, I thought about your true horror haiku since I read it yesterday. Your story of child sexual abuse by a father is haunting. You well selected your words to tell the ultimate horror in a way that gripped my imagination and heart. Thank you for sharing and even more for shedding a light on this despicable crime by focusing on the trauma that the victim experiences from her point of view.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie. Thank you for the six stars.
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Well deserved! It's a gripping poem. Thank you for sharing and caring.
Comment from Joan E.
I am not usually a fan of the horror/thriller genre, but I was taken by the implications of your poem. I did not expect the allusion to abuse in the final line of this 5-7-5. Powerful! -Joan
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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I am not usually a fan of the horror/thriller genre, but I was taken by the implications of your poem. I did not expect the allusion to abuse in the final line of this 5-7-5. Powerful! -Joan
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Comment from Hitcher
A rather dark and disturbing little senryu friend, one can feel the dread as daddy's footsteps echo through the hallway and terrorize her frightened heart. I found this one to be top draw Gypsy!!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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A rather dark and disturbing little senryu friend, one can feel the dread as daddy's footsteps echo through the hallway and terrorize her frightened heart. I found this one to be top draw Gypsy!!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Wayne, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and the feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy Blue Rose,
Your poem was really nice. It was also interesting to read.
I'm happy that you were given the "All Time Best.
Kat
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Hi Gypsy Blue Rose,
Your poem was really nice. It was also interesting to read.
I'm happy that you were given the "All Time Best.
Kat
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
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Hi Gypsy,
It's always fun to read your poetry as you write such wonderful ones.
Kat
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You're very welcome my friend. Kat
Comment from apky
This is so emotional. The picture alone tugs at the heart,
and when you follow with the words, I could really feel the
dread of the little girl; even the horror, when the footsteps
were from someone who told her she was Daddy's little girl.
Aki :)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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This is so emotional. The picture alone tugs at the heart,
and when you follow with the words, I could really feel the
dread of the little girl; even the horror, when the footsteps
were from someone who told her she was Daddy's little girl.
Aki :)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, aki, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mark Valentine
I can't imagine anybody reading this and not feeling pain in their heart. The first two lines create tension - you know what's coming based on the picture - the line you wrote to communicate the end of this horror story is perfect - it conveys the twisted evil that is child sexual abuse.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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I can't imagine anybody reading this and not feeling pain in their heart. The first two lines create tension - you know what's coming based on the picture - the line you wrote to communicate the end of this horror story is perfect - it conveys the twisted evil that is child sexual abuse.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Mark, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and six stars.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
My heart trembles at the thought of what a child, especially a little girl, must suffer when this happens in a household. She is especially betrayed when it is her own father quite horrific and well written, Gypsy. Horror is not something I write but you do it so well. By the way, what is the kigo here? Maybe I will try it, Giddy
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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My heart trembles at the thought of what a child, especially a little girl, must suffer when this happens in a household. She is especially betrayed when it is her own father quite horrific and well written, Gypsy. Horror is not something I write but you do it so well. By the way, what is the kigo here? Maybe I will try it, Giddy
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Senryu does not have a kigo.
I hope you write one. :) Thank you, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Justin Chopin
Very mysterious kind of piece Gypsy. I say mysterious because in my mind the steps could be coming from some savage lunatic coming to kidnap this young girl or it could just be the girls father straggling in from a long day at the office. I don't know your Haiku has that kind of open ended kind of quality to it where the actual possibilities of what could happen to your character are endless . Well done with the poem.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Very mysterious kind of piece Gypsy. I say mysterious because in my mind the steps could be coming from some savage lunatic coming to kidnap this young girl or it could just be the girls father straggling in from a long day at the office. I don't know your Haiku has that kind of open ended kind of quality to it where the actual possibilities of what could happen to your character are endless . Well done with the poem.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Justin, you are very kind and I appreciate your review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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You're welcome.
Comment from BOO ghost
Is a dandy, must be horror category. She looks petrified with fear. Maybe a house intruder and must be scary knowing that a prowler is near. Nice description and personification of how it effects her, daddy's little girl. So, anybody outside the club can post and must be a horror category. 17 syllables or less and does not have to be 5.7.5, right? god one! BOO-riffic!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Is a dandy, must be horror category. She looks petrified with fear. Maybe a house intruder and must be scary knowing that a prowler is near. Nice description and personification of how it effects her, daddy's little girl. So, anybody outside the club can post and must be a horror category. 17 syllables or less and does not have to be 5.7.5, right? god one! BOO-riffic!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Yeah, it doesn't have to be 5/7/5, just less than 17. Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Gypsy
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Maybe BOO can get the nerve up. Have not done any poetry in many moons. Oh, when is the white wedding? He-he, yeah I like to clown around.
