Knock, Knock, Who's There?
An old lady in trouble.50 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I liked it very much, But I also know you and I knew she was guilty as sin.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Karen
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
I liked it very much, But I also know you and I knew she was guilty as sin.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Karen
Comment Written 09-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for taking time out to read another of my older stories. Yes, you pick up on things much quicker than most. So, now I'll have to figure out a way to trick you. LOL. I'm glad you like it. I appreciate YOU!
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Well, I am owing you a few so, I thought I would start at the beginning. And work my way up. Karen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Having the police knock on your door would certainly be unexpected for most people.
"a butt-naked jogger in a snowstorm." What an inage, if of the old lady believe that would be one to pass on.
The fart scene hysterical.
But, doesn't this sound just like how the police operate?
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
Having the police knock on your door would certainly be unexpected for most people.
"a butt-naked jogger in a snowstorm." What an inage, if of the old lady believe that would be one to pass on.
The fart scene hysterical.
But, doesn't this sound just like how the police operate?
Comment Written 03-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much, Brett, for another of your wonderful and encouraging reviews. I'm just a goofy old country boy who sees things in a crazy way, and it makes me so happy when such a talented writer is entertained for even a minute by my foolishness. You've made my week! I hope everything is moving in the right direction with you and your treatments. There isn't a day you aren't in my thoughts and prayers. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from lyenochka
I think you liked Delia Druthers too much and so you couldn't just keep it to 1500 words! She's quite the character and you always gave us a little hint that maybe she's not just a sweet, little old lady! And she wasn't!
Congratulations on the win!!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
I think you liked Delia Druthers too much and so you couldn't just keep it to 1500 words! She's quite the character and you always gave us a little hint that maybe she's not just a sweet, little old lady! And she wasn't!
Congratulations on the win!!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
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Helen, my dear, it's always a special reward for such a busy lady to take time out to read one of my older, mostly foolish, stories. I hope to make someone smile every day, like the many you touch with your kindness and dedication. Thanks for being you and the blessings you offer up every day!
Comment from Angela Hayes
Good read, interesting and well written, this story is good and would be great as a movie, it keeps the reader interested, I like the witty image... it adds a lot of character, creative thought, humor/fiction, educational and it's a winner.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
Good read, interesting and well written, this story is good and would be great as a movie, it keeps the reader interested, I like the witty image... it adds a lot of character, creative thought, humor/fiction, educational and it's a winner.
Well done and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020
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Ah, you're so sweet! I write a lot of silly stories hoping to put a few smiles on faces, but out of all my posts, this would have been one of the last I would have expected you to read and enjoy. Thank you so much, Angela, for your kind words, encouragement, and extra-special six-star review! You've made my day, week, maybe even my month. LOL. Thanks again!
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You're welcome! :)
Comment from AJ McCall
This is awesome a long read, but I loved it! I really just needed to review this so I could send you a little gift. Well-done! Hope I can write as good as you!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
This is awesome a long read, but I loved it! I really just needed to review this so I could send you a little gift. Well-done! Hope I can write as good as you!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020
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Yes, most people have trouble finding enough to say. I find it hard to shut up. Therefore, everything I write tends to be too long and I worry that I might lose the reader by the end. I only gift I need from you is watching your writing just keep getting better and better. You are already so far ahead of the curve, I see mega-success in your future. Thanks so much for taking time to read another of my silly stories. You write as well as me already, now just keep fine tuning it to be the best you can be. Thanks a million!
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:) you're welcome!!!
Comment from Ronni
Hi Ric,
This story is quite hilarious and seemingly incredulously bizarre to
near insane, except for the fact that often, sometimes, for some,
'life is stranger than fiction' or closer to some people's reality that
it is not that implausible or impossible either. You thread the needle
both ways in this wacky, wicked old lady tale, and tell the tattle tale
truth by the end of all the exasperations and distortions in between!
I say again, quite a subtly integrative and exploitive writing style. I can see why you found it harder and harder to find a stopping place!
Thanks for sharing! This one deserves a cool drink and toast to you!
Best wishes, Ronni
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
Hi Ric,
This story is quite hilarious and seemingly incredulously bizarre to
near insane, except for the fact that often, sometimes, for some,
'life is stranger than fiction' or closer to some people's reality that
it is not that implausible or impossible either. You thread the needle
both ways in this wacky, wicked old lady tale, and tell the tattle tale
truth by the end of all the exasperations and distortions in between!
I say again, quite a subtly integrative and exploitive writing style. I can see why you found it harder and harder to find a stopping place!
Thanks for sharing! This one deserves a cool drink and toast to you!
Best wishes, Ronni
Comment Written 10-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
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Of all my ridiculous stories written to entertain myself, this goofball farce would be one of my least favorite for you to have read. I must admit, I'm somewhat embarrassed you've read some of the tacky and vulgar terms. An old friend, actor and playwright, Sam Shepard who was a favorite actor I met by chance in the grocery store. Over the years he pushed me to share my stories in writing, but I couldn't find time away from living. Once I finally sat down and wrote a few stories, he pushed harder. Then, I went off to one of those fancy four-day writing retreats. When I came home, I re-wrote every terrible thing I had written. Excited, I took them for Sam to read. He burst out in a rage and tore everything page into tiny pieces, flailing them across the room as he screamed and cursed like a wild man, and said, 'You have obliterated every once of natural talent and promise you showed." LOL. Oops, so much for trying to get better. So after not writing a word for two years, I came back here a couple weeks ago and just picked out a couple random stories of my own to read. "Looking for Lucky," and "Bert and Alley." "Bert and Alley was far from perfect or even good, but it wasn't so bad I bothered with changing anything. But, "Looking for Lucky" was so bad I immediately started re-writing it. So, a 1,500 word story grew to 3,800, but I think it's better. Then, I noticed a contest about a one-sided conversation and started writing my first piece in two years. Before long, I said the heck with the contest and turned it into "Marv and Levi." A story of two characters who made an impression on me as a child that has lasted a lifetime. Marv, the person you go out of your way to avoid. Levi, someone you would be proud to emulate in most every way. Sorry, I apologize for the novella. When all I really wanted to say is thanks for your kind words and generous review!
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Hi Ric,
Well I must admit Ric as I started to read this story, it
momentarily crossed my mind to 'bail out' but since
I am not an instant quitter nor coward or prude, I kept
on with it. So no apologies
necessary or warranted, and
no need for embarrassment
either. In the context and circumstances how and why this one got started and took
on a life and legend of its own, it became a lot more
intriguing and near hysterical,
and I must say, as indicated,
I could see bizarre traces of such wacky incidents not so
strangely removed from the
reality factor, minds and brains are not always wired for coordination or desired
contact by any one person at any given time. The tacky and vulgar, language, conduct and expression is around us even in supposedly
intelligent and sane world, so I was not offended, understood it in context presented!
Ironically, I have a similar 'nightmare'experience with a famous CA. Poet who tried to 'workshop' my poems and make a 'real poet' out of me, come hell
or high water! Too long to
relate here, but long story
short, after 3 months into
his mission, he ended up in
therapy, and last heard, still
in it! I kept writing mine as
I have from start, from heart
and not head. That is the most frequent comment and compliment I get and glad it
is perceived and related to in
that way.
This story, as wacky and bizarre as it seemed, still conveys your skill and talent
in dialogue, mystery, suspense and intrigue to keep reading. So do keep reading and developing your
expertise and expression in it. I am glad I read it all through after I got to the end! And it did deserve a
cool drink and toast to you!
Best always, Ronni
Comment from karenina
Remind me never to challenge you with a "Start the story with this sentence challenge!"-- You must have been pumping that high octane stuff because your motor was racing and you were bound for glory with tis one! I didn't know if I should laugh or cry at first... Not to worry, your way with words had me chuckling with maybe a guffaw or two thrown in here and there. I suppose I should feel bad she was a murderer and this was no case of mistaken identity. But hey--she WAS cleaning up the streets after all! I'll never look at a "Church Lady" the same way again!---Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
Remind me never to challenge you with a "Start the story with this sentence challenge!"-- You must have been pumping that high octane stuff because your motor was racing and you were bound for glory with tis one! I didn't know if I should laugh or cry at first... Not to worry, your way with words had me chuckling with maybe a guffaw or two thrown in here and there. I suppose I should feel bad she was a murderer and this was no case of mistaken identity. But hey--she WAS cleaning up the streets after all! I'll never look at a "Church Lady" the same way again!---Karenina
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much, Karenina, for your kind words and generous review. You'll find that I try to slip in a little humor wherever I can, even in the horror stuff. And the humor stuff, needs a little blood too. LOL. Yes, that's sick. Thanks again for your outstanding review that makes me smile!
Comment from Mistydawn
Great humorous story and what a heck of a twist at the end. The way you described her in the beginnings I'd never thought she'd end up being a killer, except maybe with her farts, lol. A very entertaining story, great job.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
Great humorous story and what a heck of a twist at the end. The way you described her in the beginnings I'd never thought she'd end up being a killer, except maybe with her farts, lol. A very entertaining story, great job.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Yes, I'm a little nuts at times. LOL! My mind is stuck somewhere between Willy Wonka humor and Freddy Kruger horror, but of course, isn't everyone and even life it's self somewhat the same for all of us? Thank you so much for taking time to read another of my stories. Your kind words are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi (*>*)
= This was too cute!
= Congrats on the win.
= I always enjoy your stories.
= Love the 'lard-butt blue-belly suckers' LOL ...
= Nice to be back, but will be here and there in limited time-frames.
= I'm still editing to publish.
= I will happily review those who follow me, but because of limited time-frame,
will not be able to review ALL of each person posts.
= => LATEST PUBLISHING <= =
= 1 = Heartfelt II - Heart and Soul (Poetry)
= 2 = Dare To Dream (Book 1 of 'The Allister Saga)
= 3 = Lethal Deception (Contemporary Novel)
= => TO BE RELEASED in a few days <= =
= 4 = Maybe Someday (Book II of Allister Saga)
Cheers ... Jax (*>*)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
Hi (*>*)
= This was too cute!
= Congrats on the win.
= I always enjoy your stories.
= Love the 'lard-butt blue-belly suckers' LOL ...
= Nice to be back, but will be here and there in limited time-frames.
= I'm still editing to publish.
= I will happily review those who follow me, but because of limited time-frame,
will not be able to review ALL of each person posts.
= => LATEST PUBLISHING <= =
= 1 = Heartfelt II - Heart and Soul (Poetry)
= 2 = Dare To Dream (Book 1 of 'The Allister Saga)
= 3 = Lethal Deception (Contemporary Novel)
= => TO BE RELEASED in a few days <= =
= 4 = Maybe Someday (Book II of Allister Saga)
Cheers ... Jax (*>*)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thanks so much, Jax, for taking time to read my story. I am glad to see you back, and hope you feel like jumping over the moon! Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Good Luck on getting all your editing and publishing finally done. You always make me smile! :-)
Comment from hvysmker
The police cough, gag, spit and sputter, while learning one of life's most valuable lessons. "Old people's farts are the worst."
*** We blast easy, fast, stinky, and on command.
Then, with them watching every move, they force me to shower with a body soap and shampoo that sets my skin on fire, making it red and raw, and on the verge of blistering.
*** It used to be with DDT.
In a hurry, it looked as if she had accidently left her purse where she was sitting in the auditorium.
*** accidentally.
Then, when she got home, she put the bag on the floor in her closet just as she had told police, never realizing she had left her wallet and checkbook at the drug dealer's house on Sixth Street.
*** HUH!
She always kills her fair share.
*** Well, it is hard to live on Social Security. It helps to have a part-time income, especially if the Lord approves.
A good one, Ric.
Charlie
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
The police cough, gag, spit and sputter, while learning one of life's most valuable lessons. "Old people's farts are the worst."
*** We blast easy, fast, stinky, and on command.
Then, with them watching every move, they force me to shower with a body soap and shampoo that sets my skin on fire, making it red and raw, and on the verge of blistering.
*** It used to be with DDT.
In a hurry, it looked as if she had accidently left her purse where she was sitting in the auditorium.
*** accidentally.
Then, when she got home, she put the bag on the floor in her closet just as she had told police, never realizing she had left her wallet and checkbook at the drug dealer's house on Sixth Street.
*** HUH!
She always kills her fair share.
*** Well, it is hard to live on Social Security. It helps to have a part-time income, especially if the Lord approves.
A good one, Ric.
Charlie
Comment Written 06-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much, Charlie, for making my day. What am I talking about, you've probably made my month. Hell, these days I get excited just looking at the jar. I still make more than my fair share of mistakes, but nothing like when you first took me under your wing and had to almost rewrite every sentence. LOL! I had no idea how bad I was until you sent all those pages of bloopers. But the best part was, you explained things in a way that didn't hurt my feelings too bad, like some, and you always cared enough to spend your time explaining what needed to be fixed. Your kind words, comments, suggestions. and extra-special six-star review are more appreciated than I have words to say. I wouldn't even still be doing this if it wasn't for you and couple others. Thanks, again. :-)
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Thanks, Ric. I've given only two two-star reviews and, both times, spent time helping the recipients.
I was the same when I started writing as a cheap hobby, was even told by two of the owners of "Toasted Cheese" that they would no longer review my stories -- I was so bad.
I did find a much smaller site that put up with me, though. They gave me reviews like you mentioned and I slowly improved. I remember those days and try to help others. Like you, I seriously thought of quiting during those early days.
Charlie
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I'm sure glad you hung in there, my friend, because if you hadn't, I probably wouldn't have either. This has been the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. The physical stuff came easy, but it was a good thing the writing brain was covered. Otherwise, I would have been easy pickings. :-)