But For a Door
Potlatch Challenge-Trijan22 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Feeling the soft breeze of the night as one come drifting into ones view the thoughts she has all about you. She never really gave it much thought till now.
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Feeling the soft breeze of the night as one come drifting into ones view the thoughts she has all about you. She never really gave it much thought till now.
Comment Written 01-May-2017
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Michael,
This is a great poem for the challenge. I enjoyed reading it. I like the way you personified Spring. I also like how you changed the punctuation a bit on some of the repeated lines to make them more than just a simple repeat. Those changes add to the context of the poem.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
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Michael,
This is a great poem for the challenge. I enjoyed reading it. I like the way you personified Spring. I also like how you changed the punctuation a bit on some of the repeated lines to make them more than just a simple repeat. Those changes add to the context of the poem.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 01-May-2017
Comment from robyn corum
Michael,
This is a really cool poem, my friend. I truly love it. It reads so smoothly and sweetly and leaves just enough room for the reader to slide in there and create their own interpretation. Very nice! Thanks!
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Michael,
This is a really cool poem, my friend. I truly love it. It reads so smoothly and sweetly and leaves just enough room for the reader to slide in there and create their own interpretation. Very nice! Thanks!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from seaglass
I loved the rhythm this peoetic style sets. It's very lyerical. Nice rhyming as well. Oh, those thoughts of lamenting that holds us for so long. Reminds.me of those painful high school crushes.
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I loved the rhythm this peoetic style sets. It's very lyerical. Nice rhyming as well. Oh, those thoughts of lamenting that holds us for so long. Reminds.me of those painful high school crushes.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed how you wrote.
I love her dreams.
I love! Her dreams may....
You used that format two other times. It really caught my eye and it was very effective. Good write.
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I enjoyed how you wrote.
I love her dreams.
I love! Her dreams may....
You used that format two other times. It really caught my eye and it was very effective. Good write.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
AAAAhjhhh where are the refrain words from the line 5? Or did I totally mess mine up again. I love the story you presented and the repeating lines bring a longing very emotional. Would you read mine and correct me, please.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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AAAAhjhhh where are the refrain words from the line 5? Or did I totally mess mine up again. I love the story you presented and the repeating lines bring a longing very emotional. Would you read mine and correct me, please.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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You are right. I missed that part. LOL!!!!
Thanks so much. Glad you liked. :)) mike
Comment from Pantygynt
If the Romantic poets had written Trijan Refrains I feel sure this is the sort of thing they would have written. I was most envious of the way you handled the repeated four syllables. I wanted to achieve something like that, to make them work two ways each time but I think I might have only managed it in my final stanza. This was very good indeed.
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If the Romantic poets had written Trijan Refrains I feel sure this is the sort of thing they would have written. I was most envious of the way you handled the repeated four syllables. I wanted to achieve something like that, to make them work two ways each time but I think I might have only managed it in my final stanza. This was very good indeed.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mikey,
I didn't really understand this form when I read one earlier but this one made more sense as it is written in rhyming style that I like best. I loved the topic and your writing was very entertaining. It had a certain skip to it that helped the poem in this style flow easily.
A loved this.
Brenda:))x
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Hi Mikey,
I didn't really understand this form when I read one earlier but this one made more sense as it is written in rhyming style that I like best. I loved the topic and your writing was very entertaining. It had a certain skip to it that helped the poem in this style flow easily.
A loved this.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from Heather Knight
What a lovely poem! I had never thought so much could be created from a window. The changing seasons, the love story with the unhappy ending... the final effect is wonderful.
Thanks for sharing.
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What a lovely poem! I had never thought so much could be created from a window. The changing seasons, the love story with the unhappy ending... the final effect is wonderful.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Mikey!
It has taken me all week to wrap my head around this style. In my practice piece I deviated from the 'same first line in each stanza' mostly because I overlooked it in all the rules, even thought it was right there in the beginning and the examples. It does say that is an acceptable variation.
Another of the rules I had trouble with is this one, until I read multiple examples:
The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. (The only real suggestion I have for you on this piece is to look at this requirement again.)
I enjoyed this as you have it written and am thinking that you probably took some poetic license with the style. :)
Keep up the great work!
Kim
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Hi Mikey!
It has taken me all week to wrap my head around this style. In my practice piece I deviated from the 'same first line in each stanza' mostly because I overlooked it in all the rules, even thought it was right there in the beginning and the examples. It does say that is an acceptable variation.
Another of the rules I had trouble with is this one, until I read multiple examples:
The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. (The only real suggestion I have for you on this piece is to look at this requirement again.)
I enjoyed this as you have it written and am thinking that you probably took some poetic license with the style. :)
Keep up the great work!
Kim
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
