The Picnic on North Sunnycrest Drive
This is a fable in a series of stories for children.14 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Why a picture of a raccoon instead of a pig? Nice work at stretching out this cute fable with its use of a well-known phrase--pigged out. The lesson comes through with the forgiveness of the children.
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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Why a picture of a raccoon instead of a pig? Nice work at stretching out this cute fable with its use of a well-known phrase--pigged out. The lesson comes through with the forgiveness of the children.
Comment Written 29-May-2017
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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Thank you for your very positive review.
Comment from RodG
I think young readers will enjoy the story as most of the characters are children and who doesn't like a picnic? But since it's a fable, and animals talk in most fables I've read, give him a "voice" earlier in the story. Let him do more than nod or shake his head. Maybe he could even suggest what else they could have at their picnic.
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reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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I think young readers will enjoy the story as most of the characters are children and who doesn't like a picnic? But since it's a fable, and animals talk in most fables I've read, give him a "voice" earlier in the story. Let him do more than nod or shake his head. Maybe he could even suggest what else they could have at their picnic.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Thank you for your observations.
Comment from Caressa_08
Oh, even a fable that an adult, like myself did enjoy....and made me smile...And, pigs are highly intellectual animals, though they do Love to eat as your short story does show, and well, the children and Luke should of realized sooner, but being a child, too, he was probably so hungry... before he went in the house to get the spoons and cups...and wasn't thinking too clearly.... This, too, being a good example to prove to young readers, that sometimes unplanned things can happen, and understanding is needed, especially if you invite a pig to watch over some delicious food, to not do that again....And be leery about strangers.
Thanks for sharing...Caressa_08
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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Oh, even a fable that an adult, like myself did enjoy....and made me smile...And, pigs are highly intellectual animals, though they do Love to eat as your short story does show, and well, the children and Luke should of realized sooner, but being a child, too, he was probably so hungry... before he went in the house to get the spoons and cups...and wasn't thinking too clearly.... This, too, being a good example to prove to young readers, that sometimes unplanned things can happen, and understanding is needed, especially if you invite a pig to watch over some delicious food, to not do that again....And be leery about strangers.
Thanks for sharing...Caressa_08
Comment Written 25-May-2017
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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Thank you for the extensive review and understanding.
Comment from valmay
A great story well written. I so enjoyed the nodded ending. Truly expressing a joy of eating. Just the right length. A really good entry to the competition.
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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A great story well written. I so enjoyed the nodded ending. Truly expressing a joy of eating. Just the right length. A really good entry to the competition.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Thank you for your very helpful review.
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
Well, I guess you better not leave food laying around when a pig is in the vicinity. lol Usually a pig is part of the picnic in a very different way, but I suppose that would not quite be a children's story would it? lol
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Well, I guess you better not leave food laying around when a pig is in the vicinity. lol Usually a pig is part of the picnic in a very different way, but I suppose that would not quite be a children's story would it? lol
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Thank you for your humorous observations. It is supposed to be a humorous story.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Such a lovely fable that teaches kids its okay to be who you are or what you are. The story flows well, and the use of dialogue and non-verbal communication move the story forward. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Such a lovely fable that teaches kids its okay to be who you are or what you are. The story flows well, and the use of dialogue and non-verbal communication move the story forward. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Thank you for your very positive review.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a great contest entry and a great children's poem. I posted a children's story called Tadpole Swamp. It's about a tadpole that thinks she going to become a goldfish.
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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This is a great contest entry and a great children's poem. I posted a children's story called Tadpole Swamp. It's about a tadpole that thinks she going to become a goldfish.
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Thank you for the review and for also being a children's author.
Comment from apky
Wonderful fable - I've sent it to my Google+ page BTW!
I loved how the children accepted their "fate"
and the way you reversed the nodding bit -
with the kids nodding instead of the pig!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Wonderful fable - I've sent it to my Google+ page BTW!
I loved how the children accepted their "fate"
and the way you reversed the nodding bit -
with the kids nodding instead of the pig!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful words.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'm often told by women that all men are pigs, Anonymous Author.
Having said that, and being that I AM of the male persuasion, I guess it's safe to say that I could completely relate to your little food scarfing fable.
I enjoyed the story, and the message it conveys as well.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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I'm often told by women that all men are pigs, Anonymous Author.
Having said that, and being that I AM of the male persuasion, I guess it's safe to say that I could completely relate to your little food scarfing fable.
I enjoyed the story, and the message it conveys as well.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the animation and the good words.
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My pleasure. :)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
And the moral is? Never trust a pig... don't expect anyone to change... accept that sometimes bad things happen because it's nature...? lol
Maybe I'm missing the point of the fable. Probably.
I love food. I pigged out." - need opening speech marks here.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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Hi there,
And the moral is? Never trust a pig... don't expect anyone to change... accept that sometimes bad things happen because it's nature...? lol
Maybe I'm missing the point of the fable. Probably.
I love food. I pigged out." - need opening speech marks here.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
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The moral is, it's okay to be yourself.
