dandelions paint
5/7/5 A Flower20 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a very well written and beautifully presented poem for this contest, zanya.
I'm terribly sorry that I overlooked this contest somehow.
I cannot believe this lovely poem did not garner just one vote in the contest.
I'm sure you remember well how fond adewpearl (Brooke Baldwin) was of these delightfully bright little weeds.
I would have thought others might too.
Still, regardless of the outcome...nicely done.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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This is a very well written and beautifully presented poem for this contest, zanya.
I'm terribly sorry that I overlooked this contest somehow.
I cannot believe this lovely poem did not garner just one vote in the contest.
I'm sure you remember well how fond adewpearl (Brooke Baldwin) was of these delightfully bright little weeds.
I would have thought others might too.
Still, regardless of the outcome...nicely done.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes I certainly do remember adewpearl and her joy in seeing the dandelion - I very much appreciate your view of this little poem. zanya
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You're very welcome. :)
Comment from Stacia Ann
Hi, Zanya! Thanks for posting this.
Great topic for a short form poem.
Such great imagery--the juxtaposition of the white snow and yellow flowers (we never see anything like that in my part of California!), and the language of the last line, like a satori line in haiku, of spring's brush stroke, works very well.
This short form of poetry seems virtually the same as haiku, but maybe it's like the difference between "sparkling wine" and "champagne":) (It's only champagne, technically, if it comes from the Champagne region.) I'll have to look up the difference.
Thanks again for posting!
Stacia
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Hi, Zanya! Thanks for posting this.
Great topic for a short form poem.
Such great imagery--the juxtaposition of the white snow and yellow flowers (we never see anything like that in my part of California!), and the language of the last line, like a satori line in haiku, of spring's brush stroke, works very well.
This short form of poetry seems virtually the same as haiku, but maybe it's like the difference between "sparkling wine" and "champagne":) (It's only champagne, technically, if it comes from the Champagne region.) I'll have to look up the difference.
Thanks again for posting!
Stacia
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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I just love this review - what an interesting angle ! zanya
Comment from MelB
Excellent syllable count, imagery, and description. Good use of alliteration with snowy scene. Perfect artwork to go with the poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Excellent syllable count, imagery, and description. Good use of alliteration with snowy scene. Perfect artwork to go with the poem.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading and the critique zanya
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. I think you made a good choice using the dandelion for this contest. They are a pretty flower and you can use all the parts of the dandelion for herbal teas, wine or in salads. The seeds are fun too. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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A well-written contest entry. I think you made a good choice using the dandelion for this contest. They are a pretty flower and you can use all the parts of the dandelion for herbal teas, wine or in salads. The seeds are fun too. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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And thank you for reading and the interesting comments zanya
Comment from ronnie k
LOVELY. this poems right where it such be, up front giving truth and sight to the beautiful few words that when read eliminates the question " What is the poet saying " answer nothing the poem speaks for itself.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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LOVELY. this poems right where it such be, up front giving truth and sight to the beautiful few words that when read eliminates the question " What is the poet saying " answer nothing the poem speaks for itself.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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I agree wholeheartedly - the piece of art should absolutely speak for itself - thanks for the accolade zanya
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is lovely, few words but I can see those yellow dandelions all over the place as they spring up with strength and colour, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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This is lovely, few words but I can see those yellow dandelions all over the place as they spring up with strength and colour, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Thanks for the critique zanya
Comment from rspoet
This a fine entry for the flower contest
with exact syllables at 5-7-5
and excellent imagery and connection
of the dandelions and winter
You have a fine satori line, too
My one suggestion would be to change "winter" to "snowy" or "frosty"
because you have conflicted seasonal words with both winter and spring
and snowy is more specific
There are often early spring snows or frost
Excellent picture to match
dandelions paint
yellow blobs on [frosty/snowy] scene
Spring's artful brush stroke
The choice is always yours
Well done
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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This a fine entry for the flower contest
with exact syllables at 5-7-5
and excellent imagery and connection
of the dandelions and winter
You have a fine satori line, too
My one suggestion would be to change "winter" to "snowy" or "frosty"
because you have conflicted seasonal words with both winter and spring
and snowy is more specific
There are often early spring snows or frost
Excellent picture to match
dandelions paint
yellow blobs on [frosty/snowy] scene
Spring's artful brush stroke
The choice is always yours
Well done
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Ezcellent advice - well spotted - much appreciated zanya
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the artwork very much.
-Format is good.
-Imagery is good of the dandelion
and the winter scene.
-Good, descriptive ending.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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-I like the artwork very much.
-Format is good.
-Imagery is good of the dandelion
and the winter scene.
-Good, descriptive ending.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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And thank you very much zanya
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You are welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
Yes, they do cheerfully herald spring but as a flower they are probably the least appreciated considering how fast they proliferate across the lawn. It's nice that you give them a tribute.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes, they do cheerfully herald spring but as a flower they are probably the least appreciated considering how fast they proliferate across the lawn. It's nice that you give them a tribute.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes and don't these little drops of gold deserve it !! Thanks for reading zanya
Comment from mvbrooks
The last line is so on point as the yellow tip of the dandelion does resemble a paint brush. The haiku is well-planned and well-executed. Great companion photo.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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The last line is so on point as the yellow tip of the dandelion does resemble a paint brush. The haiku is well-planned and well-executed. Great companion photo.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Never thought of that the paint brush ??Thanks for reading zanya