Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "A Novel Idea"All chapters
5 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
In fact, Charlie, who shall remain nameless <-- LOL! Great line!
Obviously, I wouldn't fight a kid on crutches. He had two weapons. <-- LOL! Good one!
Girls fight dirty, son." He elaborated with the words, "They kick." <-- LOL!
...causing it to bleed at a most inopportune moment, the one when Jay slugged it. <-- LOL!
Very enjoyable! :)
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...class named, Jay Armstrong. <-- Remove comma.
...a lost uncle; from stolen firewood <-- Incorrect use of semi-colon. It should be a comma.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
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In fact, Charlie, who shall remain nameless <-- LOL! Great line!
Obviously, I wouldn't fight a kid on crutches. He had two weapons. <-- LOL! Good one!
Girls fight dirty, son." He elaborated with the words, "They kick." <-- LOL!
...causing it to bleed at a most inopportune moment, the one when Jay slugged it. <-- LOL!
Very enjoyable! :)
________
...class named, Jay Armstrong. <-- Remove comma.
...a lost uncle; from stolen firewood <-- Incorrect use of semi-colon. It should be a comma.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
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Phyllis
Thank you for your approving review. Coming from you, this means a lot.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Thanks for pointing out the grammar glitches.
Marv
Comment from Brett Matthew West
The reader can stay with both novels at the same time, although it does become a tad confusing in points.
However, a novel idea for writing this.
Be interesting to see where you take it from here.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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The reader can stay with both novels at the same time, although it does become a tad confusing in points.
However, a novel idea for writing this.
Be interesting to see where you take it from here.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Cody
Thanks for this review.
FanStory limitations prevented me from presenting this chapter in the way I had hoped.
Thank you for the compliments.
Please check out previous chapters and also stay tuned for new ones.
Marv
Comment from Jay Squires
Mel, this is uber-entertaining! I loved it. Your humor is sterling. I found one nit, but it would take more than that to rob you of your six. This is that good!
In the interest of saving time, I plan for the novel to have no dedication, no acknowledgments, no introduction, no author's note, no prologue and no talent. [A super example of your comedic timing with the punch line in the last entry of a long list of time-wasters.]
. Jack was not someone who would leave a person hanging, unless that person was in the wall-paper business.) [Another ... I'm impressed!]
most of the girls were bigger than me.) [most of the girls were bigger than I >> the test: use the implied verb "was". You wouldn't say, "than me was." ]
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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Mel, this is uber-entertaining! I loved it. Your humor is sterling. I found one nit, but it would take more than that to rob you of your six. This is that good!
In the interest of saving time, I plan for the novel to have no dedication, no acknowledgments, no introduction, no author's note, no prologue and no talent. [A super example of your comedic timing with the punch line in the last entry of a long list of time-wasters.]
. Jack was not someone who would leave a person hanging, unless that person was in the wall-paper business.) [Another ... I'm impressed!]
most of the girls were bigger than me.) [most of the girls were bigger than I >> the test: use the implied verb "was". You wouldn't say, "than me was." ]
Comment Written 07-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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Jay
With your compliments, you have made this whole FanStory venture worthwhile. Thank you immensely for the Exceptional rating.
You never know with comedy unless you hear words like yours. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you.
I have two nits:
1. 'Romantic Comedy' or 'Rom/Com' s not a category.
2. There was no way to present this chapter the way I wanted it.
I tried bolding the words, indenting, varying the font type and size, but FanStory doesn't acknowledge or permit any of those.
Thanks again.
Marvin (not Mel)
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If you don't mind can you change it to Mel. I'm too old to change. And I haven't been successful in your case. LOL, sorry. I'm embarrassed.
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Jay
Call me whatever you like. It's only a pen name. (A name I used when I was in the pen.)
Merv
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a hoot Marvin and a novel idea or one that I've never heard of before. I enjoy the comedy and The Magic Title is splendid.
The only suggestion I have is to bold the words in parentheses.
A most enjoyable read on a sunny Sunday afternoon. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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This is a hoot Marvin and a novel idea or one that I've never heard of before. I enjoy the comedy and The Magic Title is splendid.
The only suggestion I have is to bold the words in parentheses.
A most enjoyable read on a sunny Sunday afternoon. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 07-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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Gloria
Thanks for reviewing this chapter, which was rather long, for me.
You never know with comedy unless you hear someone laugh or readers write to say they enjoyed the comedy. It's great that you enjoyed it. Thank you.
I tried bolding the words, indenting, varying the font type and size, but FanStory doesn't acknowledge or permit any of those.
I'm glad you were one of the initial reviewers. What's the reward, if you don't mind my asking?
Thanks for the high rating.
Marv
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The reward?
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How many cents do the initial reviewers receive?
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I got 52 cents. :))
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Gloria
Thanks.
Marv
Comment from cterp
Just tuning in on this. Guess I have some catching up to do. I enjoyed your subtle humor a great deal. And your not-so-subtle humor as well.
You might do better presenting the novel within the novel by indenting it and making it a point size or two smaller. Or even changing fonts. It gets lost with the parens.
chris
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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Just tuning in on this. Guess I have some catching up to do. I enjoyed your subtle humor a great deal. And your not-so-subtle humor as well.
You might do better presenting the novel within the novel by indenting it and making it a point size or two smaller. Or even changing fonts. It gets lost with the parens.
chris
Comment Written 07-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2016
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Chris
Thanks for reviewing my latest.
I like to inject more than one type of humor into a story.
I tried your three suggestions. Same results?no change.
I hope you do try to catch up, at least a little.
Thank you for the rating.
Marv
