Reviews from

A National Disgrace

The truth about child poverty in America

17 total reviews 
Comment from Frank De layna
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very well written peice. I never really saw "Dave" but very appropo in these times. But where are all our Trump lovers to critique your article? Could it be that their shortsidedness and low IQ stop their ability? Thanks again for a very entertaining piece. I'll be reading your other works.

 Comment Written 12-May-2019

Comment from Spiritual Echo
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I had to check out your work. After reading so many of your eloquent posts in the forum, reading the above essay, confirmed both your passion and your 'pragmatic' side. You allow the compassion to filter through solid information, giving your POV great substance.

As a piece of writing, I'm not so sure you needed the lengthy into. A personal beginning stating your mind and heart conflict on human issues could have been shortened, but have to admit, I enjoyed the movie review, and the plot of 'Dave' certainly supports the work that follows.

There's nothing I can or want--why would I?--disagree with the points, and solution, you offer for dealing with child poverty.

We have a massive problem in Canada with poverty among our First Nations people. They live on 'reservations', sometimes so far north that supporting the infrastructure, the roads, schools and especially the cost of transporting food to the forth is very, very expensive. Our new PM is making that a big deal--after he was elected with a majority government. Of that I am glad, even if it means paying higher taxes. But poverty exists in our schools, and to a degree, ordinary citizens are trying to do something. In inner city schools, there're breakfast programs--many sponsored by corporations. But even in the area where I live, many schools have a snack program. ANY child can help themselves to nutritious snacks and juice boxes. Yes, in the cases I am aware of, it is the parents and communities who stock these cupboards, and there is no surplus in the education budget. It's a tiny bandaid, but I suppose it's something we can do as individuals.

I enjoy reading your views very much and hope you continue to write thought-provoking articles for all to read.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2016


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2016
    Ingrid, thanks so much for the wonderful six star review, the very kind words and your valuable insights. After I posted the work, I did start to wonder about the length. I see what you meaning about the personal intro and I probably could have shortened it. Brevity is always the best approach.

    Thanks for the glimpse of some of the poverty issues in Canada. That is great that many of the schools provide free nutritious snacks for the children. Many of the schools in the U.S. also provide free meals to children in need. The beneficial impact of such programs cannot be overstated.

    Thanks again for the wonderful review and support.

    Bill
Comment from Sis Cat
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Publish this.

This is an exceptionally written essay. It is clear and forceful. Well argued, this essay combines a pragmatic idealist vision to address child poverty in America. Your accounting background shows in your deft handling of numbers and facts. Without question, this is among the finest essays of this subject I have encountered on FanStory. It is publication-grade.

Thank you for sharing and daring to care.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2016
    Sis Cat, thanks so much for the marvelous six star review and incredibly kind words. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement. Bill
Comment from VictoriaJoyce
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was very well written and written on a topic that too many times gets swept under the carpet. It is obvious that you devoted a lot of time and thought to writing this, and did quite a bit of research as well. I on the other hand, have a strong tendency to see the world as it could be. Loved the quote from 'Ebert' and I will leave you with one of mine I have on a bookmark I attached when I send my book to people. From "The Man of La Macha" Who's crazy? Am I crazy because I see the world as it could be? Or is the world crazy because it only sees itself as it is?

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    Victoria, thanks so much for the awesome six star review and the very thought provoking comments.

    I was sitting here at my computer embroiled in my usual daily work. Something made me click on FanStory and I read your review. Not only was your wonderful review truly appreciated, but your quote from "The Man of La Mancha" is inspiring, and got my mind going in an entirely different direction from my mundane day of work. Thanks for the welcome and uplifting diversion! I completely understand where you are coming from, and it certainly isn't crazy. Do you think it is possible to see the world through both perspectives? That is why I started my essay with the bit about pragmatism and idealism. Can a person see the world as it really is, and at the same time envision the world as they know it could be, and should be? For me personally, when I see the world as it really is, it angers and motivates me to want to see the world as it could, and I know should be. Rather than accepting that this is how the world is, I insist that it doesn't have to be this way, and shouldn't be this way. As I said in my essay, I believe it is all about changing people's mindsets.

    And you are so right, it does too many times get swept under the carpet.

    Thanks again for the great review and comments.

    Take care,
    Bill
reply by VictoriaJoyce on 27-Jul-2016
    Glad my review gave you some inspiration this morning. Yes, I believe we can see the world both ways. I just wish more people would get angered about what is going on, like yourself and take more action. Too many individuals just complain about it. It gives them an excuse to be negative, not follow their own dreams etc. I also quite often say that I keep one foot in the world and the rest of my in God's world, which is drastically different. Please see my profile. I would love to send you a copy of the first of my two published books if you feel it is something you would enjoy reading and benefit from.
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good write and read for this non fiction prompt, In a country like the U.S. there is no reason for poverty of any kind. this written very well and makes a great read. good luck on this and have a great day

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    William, many thanks for the very kind review. Bill
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The American Government is run by millionaires. Poverty will always be with the general masses. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
    C_lucas, thanks so much for the very kind review. Bill
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was a very well written and enlightening read. It has always been the way with politicians to look after their rich and famous before poorer people. I can't ever see it changing either. Corruption begins at the top and that is a know fact. If the poorer people were given the same powers the roles would be reversed and it would still be the same. Why is it that money and power turn decent people into corrupt and evil people? Excellent reading and good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
    Sandra, thanks so much for the great review and very kind words.

    "Why is it that money and power turn decent people into corrupt and evil people?"

    That is the question I constantly ask myself, and was the impetus for me to write this piece.

    Thanks again for the support. It is very much appreciated.

    Bill
Comment from Mabaker
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A lot of time and effort went into this piece. I am Australian and I believe without all the % signs which I don't fully comprehend, but by reading between the lines, I firmly believe that any country that caters to it's rich and famous, to the detriment of its average and under provided, must have child starvation to one degree or other. Well written and thought provoking. Regards Mabaker.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
    Mabaker, many thanks for the great review and kind words. The point you make is so true. Bill
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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This essay is a very strong contest entry. I teach in a very low income school. I never want to see a child go hungry or without electricity. I will have to add though that many of the children's parents make choices that keep them in this situation and hungry. What money they do get isn't used for feeding the children.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
    Barbara, thanks very much for the kind review. Bill
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I read this with 'hope' that it would be balanced and offer real 'pragmatic' solutions. Not just a partisan blame piece.

Well, that was my hope.

Structurally, this is well written and you do a great job of supporting your narrative of who is to blame for the ills facing society without naming names too much.

You didn't blame Trump directly, though you use his slogan as a focal point and not Clinton (who is also in bed with big business).

Anyway, a well presented essay, but with no real solutions or how to achieve a solution.

Yes, you mentioned raising the minimum wage, but never showed how the market would respond to such a raise to again reach a balance. You spoke about Cooperate profits, but not the corporations that failed or those cooperate workers who worked hard to increase the wealth of their business and reaped rewards of such. How many of those worker became middle class, fed there kids, put there kids through collage, contributed to their local economy, by buying cars, homes and luxury items?

Also this line: 'It is time for Americans to change their mindset from one of maligning the victims, to one of compassion for the most helpless of victims - our children.'

You've painted the people who create kids they knew they couldn't afford as victims. You've released them of all responsibility. Actually, there is no self-responsibility in this piece anywhere.

How can any long-term solution exist without it?

You have placed the responsibility for my children with people who do not know me, and had nothing to do with 'choice' to create children.

How is that pragmatic or reasonable?

A thought provoking piece. It is sure to tug at the heart strings of you know who.

Well done.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016