Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Hope for a Day" is excellent free verse with the unconventional structure emphasizing the theme. The figurative language is excellent: "a bitter wind blows"
"chill touches to the bone" are both fresh metaphors. You are the master of free verse as well as formal.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016

Thank you so much Preston for the excellent review and compliment.

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Hello Tom,
I think it's amazing that you understand depression, bipolar disorder, and struggle so well... how could you not? I"m willing to bet you've had your own share, having to deal with Karen's. And now, your daughter's as well. There's a sadness throughout this, but a glimmer of hope, and that struggle that has led you throughout your marriage to pull for a happy ending. I really like this.
With the exception of a couple of line breaks, and a spelling error or two... this is really stellar work.
Great job, and so insightful.
Doesn't need artwork. Good call.
Cat

weighed down
in soggy surliness
and w(a)nton worry,
(w)anting to give up,
to rest(--)

to stop the battle.

(a wonton is a Chinese cracker ;) )
(suggest the em dash after 'rest' and a line break for emphasis)

But there's a spark
of
surviv(ing) spunk
still (left).

(suggest changing survival to surviving and there, to left, though I know exactly what you were saying, I think this is stronger... what do you think? I certainly understand if you don't care for it.)

all in all, very well done and with great empathy
Cat

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Cat. I like all the corrections and suggestions, and will incorporate them immediately. I really appreciate your input.

reply by I am Cat on 17-Jul-2016

Great, I"m so pleased you did. Amazing poem, Tom!

Comment from TAB_that's me

Exceptional

Is this written about your daughter? I can really feel the darkness in this. Great alliteration with spark/survival/spunk/still.

Wonderful free verse and alignment.

Teresa

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Teresa, yes, it's about her.

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi TRIESCHELL.
depression can be a very lonely thing to cope with. I have suffered for years and it can be a constant battle. I think it is hope that makes us hang on for that day when the hurting and desperation stops.
A great read.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Brenda. I Appreciate your insight, having shared personal experience.

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

SORRY TO BE OUT OF SIXES BUT PLEASE KNOW THIS WORK HIT ME IN A BIG AND POSITIVE WAY. I CAN CERTAINLY APPRECIATE THE PERSPECTIVE IN THIS WORK AS I BATTLE WITH ALZHEIMERS AND CONSTANTLY SEEK THE ROPE OF HOPE. MANY THANKS! HIS GRAYNESS: VANCE

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you very much Vance, for sharing a very personal perspective.

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Treischel: amazing poem of the darkness of depression. The attacker of Nice was depressed and took it out on the people at Nice...CNN. So heartbreaking.

I like the waves of hope in the light of darkness with your poem. Well done, my friend. I'm not sure how you did this without it blocking in a box. Take the rope and go for the hope...great motivational piece. Be safe.

I heard on the news that 35W and 494 were blocked off by protestors. Time to pray for our nations. God bless. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you very much, flylikeaneagle. Yes, the protest continues. Tomorrow, they are shutting down Rosedale. Prayers for the nation definitely needed.

reply by flylikeaneagle on 17-Jul-2016

I will watch this on CNN and pray. Our country needs Jesus and lots of extra prayers. I Chron 7.. Psalm 91...God bless! Be safe! flylikeaneagle

reply by Anonymous Member on 19-Jul-2016

I will watch this on CNN and pray. Our country needs Jesus and lots of extra prayers. I Chron 7.. Psalm 91...God bless! Be safe! flylikeaneagle

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I admired your format and your free verse about holding on to hope. Your alliteration of "w's" and "s's" plus your "rope" metaphor added to the power of your message. Take good care of yourself during this time of great stress- Joan

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you very much Joan, fir the review, as well as the encouragement.

Comment from poetbear

Good

I Like it and want to give you five stars but the format worried me.
I know your work and this surprised but it has very intentional.
You words and word choices are powerful.
It is well written and make sense.
It is my opinion and you don't have to make any changes.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Poetbear.

reply by poetbear on 17-Jul-2016

YW

reply by poetbear on 17-Jul-2016

yw

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

Tom, this poem is a wonderful poem about the struggles of depression and hope that comes in time. Having suffered for years with bi-polar I am no stranger to depression. Patricia

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Patricia. Yes, you've shared that quite compellingly before. I appreciate your strong insight.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

There is many situations that make us to loose hope. There is many more reasons to fight and restore hope when we take our problems day by day.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

Thank you Sandra. So, true.