Lazarus the Duck
A family golf outing turned into duck CPR27 total reviews
Comment from Mabaker
Quite good! I enjoyed that very much. Sometimes sh.t happens don't it? Glad Don turned out okay apart from as you said a headache. Your style is really quiet funny and I could visualise the whole scene. Tell me, as a non-golfer how do you address a golf ball. "Eh, good morning Mr. Ball etc... I've never known the answer to that question.
Sincerely Anne (Mabaker)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Quite good! I enjoyed that very much. Sometimes sh.t happens don't it? Glad Don turned out okay apart from as you said a headache. Your style is really quiet funny and I could visualise the whole scene. Tell me, as a non-golfer how do you address a golf ball. "Eh, good morning Mr. Ball etc... I've never known the answer to that question.
Sincerely Anne (Mabaker)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Anne, for your RR&R! I very much appreciate you hanging in for the longer read and outstanding review.
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I forgot to include this in my reply...addressing the ball !!
http://www.barryrhodes.com/2012/01/addressing-ball.html?m=1
Comment from Unspoken94
Mary, this is the best write I have read of yours. No
errors I could bring to your attention. The drama and
pace are beautifully developed. I even like the happy
ending as well as the drama that occurs to get to it. -Bill
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Mary, this is the best write I have read of yours. No
errors I could bring to your attention. The drama and
pace are beautifully developed. I even like the happy
ending as well as the drama that occurs to get to it. -Bill
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you so very much, Bill, for the fabulous SIX, RR&R, and continued loyalty. I really loved hearing it was your favorite story of mine. I really appreciate you letting me know that! I don't have my two year old grandson underfoot for the summer, so I'm guessing it's the focus factor!
Comment from Judy Couch
This is really funny. I actually laughed out loud when I read: "My husband was the first to remark, with a tinge of disgust evident in his tone, "You killlllled it." I can identify with your feeling toward sports. I have a few golf stories of my own and one person that I seriously thought of clobbering with the club.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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This is really funny. I actually laughed out loud when I read: "My husband was the first to remark, with a tinge of disgust evident in his tone, "You killlllled it." I can identify with your feeling toward sports. I have a few golf stories of my own and one person that I seriously thought of clobbering with the club.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, Judy, for the coveted SIX, and of course your willingness to take on a longer read. So very appreciated!! Good to hear from a fellow Indiana'an!
Comment from Salli Haberman
Loved this and as a golfer that has "been there" with the scooters on AZ retention ponds it 'lived' for me. The introduction material made it come alive and vivid as mental pictures. Perhaps, for non-golfers it wouldn't be so realistic, nor so funny. I can 'see' the scooter swimming in tight circles and his 'killer' in a total panic.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Loved this and as a golfer that has "been there" with the scooters on AZ retention ponds it 'lived' for me. The introduction material made it come alive and vivid as mental pictures. Perhaps, for non-golfers it wouldn't be so realistic, nor so funny. I can 'see' the scooter swimming in tight circles and his 'killer' in a total panic.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the awesome review, Salli!
I did not realize it was you on the review for Teddy...my bad!! I missed that second last name connection! I appreciate your read, rating and review 😚
Comment from Zue65
Oh my doing a CPR on a duck, in the Western culture, animals are treated like humans, perhaps even loved more than humans. You don't hear about ducks being murdered in your country but we see humans being shot and murdered in places like Chicago. In the East, however, we kill ducks and fowls for food, and killing humans is considered a grievous sin. But I enjoyed reading this story, I had a good laugh too, imagining a human giving a CPR to a duck. Excellent write.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Oh my doing a CPR on a duck, in the Western culture, animals are treated like humans, perhaps even loved more than humans. You don't hear about ducks being murdered in your country but we see humans being shot and murdered in places like Chicago. In the East, however, we kill ducks and fowls for food, and killing humans is considered a grievous sin. But I enjoyed reading this story, I had a good laugh too, imagining a human giving a CPR to a duck. Excellent write.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Nassus1957, for your review and take on Western culture v. Eastern. It must seem very bizarre, I can imagine. I would have done the same for human life 😁
Have a wonderful day!
Comment from JBCaine
Mary-
I don't know you, but wish to be added to your annual Christmas letter mailing.
I'm sure you've noticed, here on FS, "too long, did not read" is the word of the day.
The length here was worth every extra second it took. Hilarious from start to finish, your writing style is pleasant and witty, speckled with the exact kind of nonsense thoughts one requires to cope with a sporting family when one is a self-described floater. Very nicely done, and a six for making me laugh all the way through.
JBCaine-
PS. It's not that your story is too long, it is that the reader's attention span is too short. How the heck do these folks ever get through a book? Glad to hear you are able to celebrate the return of the son-in-law. Salute!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Mary-
I don't know you, but wish to be added to your annual Christmas letter mailing.
I'm sure you've noticed, here on FS, "too long, did not read" is the word of the day.
The length here was worth every extra second it took. Hilarious from start to finish, your writing style is pleasant and witty, speckled with the exact kind of nonsense thoughts one requires to cope with a sporting family when one is a self-described floater. Very nicely done, and a six for making me laugh all the way through.
JBCaine-
PS. It's not that your story is too long, it is that the reader's attention span is too short. How the heck do these folks ever get through a book? Glad to hear you are able to celebrate the return of the son-in-law. Salute!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Haha, thank you, JB, for your absolutely wonderful review. I joined FS in February, so needless to say, this year the family letter has yet to be completed...not good! I also appreciate what you said about the longer prose. Something I've noticed since joining. I'm lucky to get 3 reviews on anything unless I highly promote it. I get it, poems are a quick read and one can build their cash faster, but ... Needless to say, your PS made my day, entirely! Thank you, we celebrate his safe return every day, and pray for those who didn't or came home very different than when they left. Thank you for your service as well, JB.
The 6 made me jump for joy. Thank you so very much!
Comment from Spitfire
For real? You did mouth to beak respiration on a duck? Talk about a shot, this piece snaps, crackles and pop with your delightful phrases. (Golf club=Big Bertha; a dead Donald)
To start I emphasize about the sports thing. No genes of that kind run in my family. I love to sleep. Now that runs in the family. LOL
Brunhilda, a deformed finger. What else are you hiding?
My favorite lines:
I'm thankful I didn't have to play the role of the sperm in my own conception. All I had to do was float and let one little swimmer do all the work.
It was as if a PEZ dispenser had been unleashed in rapid fire all over my pant leg and shoes.
You must be the life of the party with your gift for hyperbole.
Hugs,
Shari
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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For real? You did mouth to beak respiration on a duck? Talk about a shot, this piece snaps, crackles and pop with your delightful phrases. (Golf club=Big Bertha; a dead Donald)
To start I emphasize about the sports thing. No genes of that kind run in my family. I love to sleep. Now that runs in the family. LOL
Brunhilda, a deformed finger. What else are you hiding?
My favorite lines:
I'm thankful I didn't have to play the role of the sperm in my own conception. All I had to do was float and let one little swimmer do all the work.
It was as if a PEZ dispenser had been unleashed in rapid fire all over my pant leg and shoes.
You must be the life of the party with your gift for hyperbole.
Hugs,
Shari
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Hi Shari, for real...although no contact was actually made with the beak, it was more of a blowing as I held his beak open with my fingers, minus the deformed pinky :) When he came around finally and attempted to bite, I took advantage with a really good infusion of breath right past his tonsils :)
Thank you for another fantabulous review, and continued follow. The beautiful six has me again doing the happy dance on the other side of your screen! Hugs right back, and thank you so much for your encouragement! Mary
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The more you become well-known, the more chances to win a story of the month contest.
Comment from MTF1955
OMG! I was screaming with this one. You have got to submit this somewhere. Everyone could use a good laugh it's healthy and you are the queen of laughs. I especially loved this line. I spoked down a volcano for fun once and nearly ended up in the morgue. He is degreed in physical education and sports physiology, with a minor in biology. I'm degreed in strenuous exercise avoidance, with a minor in body preservation practices. I feel the same. Mary
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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OMG! I was screaming with this one. You have got to submit this somewhere. Everyone could use a good laugh it's healthy and you are the queen of laughs. I especially loved this line. I spoked down a volcano for fun once and nearly ended up in the morgue. He is degreed in physical education and sports physiology, with a minor in biology. I'm degreed in strenuous exercise avoidance, with a minor in body preservation practices. I feel the same. Mary
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Mary, for your RR&R and that beautiful yellow plus sign! Imagine me doing the happy dance when I receive those 'rare birds'!! Who would have thought. There was absolutely no lift on that ball as it sped like an out of control commuter train for the bed heads across the way!
Thanks so much for the continued follow. Happy Sunday!
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
OMG ... you crack me up, Mary! This was hilarious! So many very funny images created for your reader, and all told so well. Of particular note: "scholar baller", "I don't just ride the bench. I am the bench", "floater", "PEZ dispenser", "I somehow felt Donald needed shade" ... hahahaha ... the latter one being my all time favourite ... struck me as hilariously funny. Are we bent, or what? I really could identify with "floater", as it takes one to know one! I too was surrounded by athletic family members that put me to shame in every single sport or game we participated in.
Fantastic write, Mary! Keep 'em coming, girl! :)
Connie
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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OMG ... you crack me up, Mary! This was hilarious! So many very funny images created for your reader, and all told so well. Of particular note: "scholar baller", "I don't just ride the bench. I am the bench", "floater", "PEZ dispenser", "I somehow felt Donald needed shade" ... hahahaha ... the latter one being my all time favourite ... struck me as hilariously funny. Are we bent, or what? I really could identify with "floater", as it takes one to know one! I too was surrounded by athletic family members that put me to shame in every single sport or game we participated in.
Fantastic write, Mary! Keep 'em coming, girl! :)
Connie
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Hahaha, thank you Connie. This happening was featured in my family Christmas letter a few years ago...my son-in-law of less than a year at the time had to be wondering what the Sam Hill kind of family he married into as he witnessed the crazy bird lady!
Thank you for your continued following and for the beautiful plus sign. I love seeing those 'rare birds' attached to my work! I also love the 'bent' reference describing us...yes, very bent in my case! That might be my new favorite word! Have an awesome Sunday! XO
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LOL ... yes ... slightly bent. I wrote a poem entitled 'Slightly Bent' (in my Portfolio somewhere) once when another Fanstorian called me and her 'slightly bent'. I thought it deserved a poem. I say slightly bent is a good thing!!! We had to go through a lot of crap in order to get that way! :) haha
You have a great weekend too, Mary ... what's left of it!
Hugs,
Connie
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is really a fun story, Mary. LOL the chances of you hitting that duck are minuscule at best. I like your sense of humor in this tale. Your writing flowed smoothly and this was a fun read
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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This is really a fun story, Mary. LOL the chances of you hitting that duck are minuscule at best. I like your sense of humor in this tale. Your writing flowed smoothly and this was a fun read
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Doug. Who would have thought. There was absolutely no lift on that ball as it sped like a out of control commuter train for the bed heads across the way! Thanks so much for the continued follow. Happy Sunday!
