Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 407 "White Reflections"Small and Specialty Poems
16 total reviews
Comment from ciliverde
I really like this form, Tom, the Progresso Quattro - very appealing the way you did the rhyme scheme too, with the "a" rhymes in the final sestet.
You have some very nice descriptions of the Egret as well, those long legs and lanky neck, and the way they crane their neck to see the prey - almost like they are nearsighted. I saw an egret catch and eat a lizard on the beach north of Malibu last summer :)
Carol
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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I really like this form, Tom, the Progresso Quattro - very appealing the way you did the rhyme scheme too, with the "a" rhymes in the final sestet.
You have some very nice descriptions of the Egret as well, those long legs and lanky neck, and the way they crane their neck to see the prey - almost like they are nearsighted. I saw an egret catch and eat a lizard on the beach north of Malibu last summer :)
Carol
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you Carol. That must have been impressive. I saw a picture of one eating a snapping turtle.
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Really?? Wow, hard to imagine. I saw one near my office flying off with a big rat in his claws. We have owls around too :)))
Comment from Just2Write
So nice to see you give this form a go, Tom - and you do it so well. The opening tercet tells us about the white crane, and builds well through the quatrain where you give us a better view of what you are seeing in the waters. I like how you subtly switch your POV in the qunitain. I felt like I was right beside you with my camera at the ready.
One small nit: Crane's feet - like heron's feet are not usually referred to as talons. The Crane's foot is used only for walking and balance, and not usually considered as aides in the hunting of food, as they are in raptors, like eagles and falcons.
Your poem made my new form look great.
Rose.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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So nice to see you give this form a go, Tom - and you do it so well. The opening tercet tells us about the white crane, and builds well through the quatrain where you give us a better view of what you are seeing in the waters. I like how you subtly switch your POV in the qunitain. I felt like I was right beside you with my camera at the ready.
One small nit: Crane's feet - like heron's feet are not usually referred to as talons. The Crane's foot is used only for walking and balance, and not usually considered as aides in the hunting of food, as they are in raptors, like eagles and falcons.
Your poem made my new form look great.
Rose.
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you Rose. I knew someone would catch that, your the only one, I just thought talons conveyed a much better image. I was confused about the genesis of the format, as I was going to congratulate you on the new format, but when I looked as one of yours to get my notes right, you referenced someone else, so I changed my note. Thanks fix this excellent review, as well as the stars.
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I have a parrot, and I also raised abandoned baby herons when I was a kid. (One a year for 5 years) If there are too many eggs in a clutch that hatches, the stronger siblings push the weaker ones out of the nest.
Parrots and Herons are gentle creatures, that have feet like chickens, except they don't have spurs. The parrots use their feet for walking, climbing, perching and eating - the heron, and other cranes only to walk,
and perch.
Raptor's feet are talons, and are used for all of the above and to grab up and clutch fish, rodents and other prey and then to rent their flesh.
H.R. Jones is me. Rose.
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Oh, now that makes sense! I didn't know. So the R is for Rose. Well congratulations. I will give you much more recognition in my next one then.
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Correct. Heather Rose.
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BTW: I was using the poetic technique of "connotation", which is when a Poet plays off a words true dictionary meaning (denotation), to suggest or imply associational implications.
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As you like it. I only mentioned it because sometimes a writer doesn't know all there is to know. If you did know and used the word anyway, you are very right - It is the writer's choice.
Rose
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well, Tom, you have really given us a treat this time. A fabulous photo of that lovely Egret, they are so elegant. Then you write a poem that not only rhymes and flows well, it is full of fun information, this would be great for children to learn their habits. After that you give us more in your author's notes. How cruel that these lovely creatures were killed to put feathers in hats! Well done, my friend, it was my great pleasure to read and review this. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Well, Tom, you have really given us a treat this time. A fabulous photo of that lovely Egret, they are so elegant. Then you write a poem that not only rhymes and flows well, it is full of fun information, this would be great for children to learn their habits. After that you give us more in your author's notes. How cruel that these lovely creatures were killed to put feathers in hats! Well done, my friend, it was my great pleasure to read and review this. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you so much Sandra. Your review delights me. I just sent my third book of poems/photographs to the publisher this week. I just posted another poem about a Blue Heron, but since it is in a contest, I couldn't do extensive notes.
Comment from rod007
I like the way you get into the mind of this bird in your poem. As in the last poem, there is a hint of joviality and carefree humour, which adds to your style. These lines demonstrate his vanity and arrogance:
" They lift me as my majesty unfurls
the biggest, baddest bird in this great land."
Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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I like the way you get into the mind of this bird in your poem. As in the last poem, there is a hint of joviality and carefree humour, which adds to your style. These lines demonstrate his vanity and arrogance:
" They lift me as my majesty unfurls
the biggest, baddest bird in this great land."
Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you Rod. Good to hear from you again. It's been a while.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. The picture is awesome. Your lines were fun to read & so descriptive of the beautiful birds. Good job on the rhyme and smooth flow of lines.
How could anyone kill a bird like this for its feathers? Where I live it is a bird sanctuary--city & county.
Your notes were so informative. Thank you for those, too. Jan
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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I enjoyed your poem. The picture is awesome. Your lines were fun to read & so descriptive of the beautiful birds. Good job on the rhyme and smooth flow of lines.
How could anyone kill a bird like this for its feathers? Where I live it is a bird sanctuary--city & county.
Your notes were so informative. Thank you for those, too. Jan
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Shank you jannypan. I am amazed they'd kill them too.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well done Tom. Beautiful picture. You must carry your camera everywhere. My husband used to take a lot of pictures too. He liked people images. LOL This is an interesting form and you aced it. Good Job. Nancy
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Well done Tom. Beautiful picture. You must carry your camera everywhere. My husband used to take a lot of pictures too. He liked people images. LOL This is an interesting form and you aced it. Good Job. Nancy
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you Nancy. I always regret when I don't have my camera with me.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an interesting form as each stanza develops our understanding of this bird further. The first three stanzas develop a sequence of physical characteristics in the bird. S1- legs and where it stands. S2 - neck, eyes and beak as javelin - how it operates. S3 - diet and foraging habits. S4 - Here we move away from the physycal and consider character traits in order to get a fully rounded opinion of this creature.
You have used the form well to give us an excellent feeling. You coud do a whole bestiary using this form. I like the way you have folowed the practice of the old medieval bestiary writers including the character traits in human terms.
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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This is an interesting form as each stanza develops our understanding of this bird further. The first three stanzas develop a sequence of physical characteristics in the bird. S1- legs and where it stands. S2 - neck, eyes and beak as javelin - how it operates. S3 - diet and foraging habits. S4 - Here we move away from the physycal and consider character traits in order to get a fully rounded opinion of this creature.
You have used the form well to give us an excellent feeling. You coud do a whole bestiary using this form. I like the way you have folowed the practice of the old medieval bestiary writers including the character traits in human terms.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. Great assessment. I likely could. Not a bad idea.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
None surpass you when it comes to painting poetic cameos of life in the wild. "White Reflections" is one such picture which is painted with delicate strokes in a Progresso Quarto, a form that is admirably suited to the a very complicated form which you have mastered. The meter, rhyme, and rhyme scheme are carried out to perfection. The author's note background as usual was useful and informing.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
None surpass you when it comes to painting poetic cameos of life in the wild. "White Reflections" is one such picture which is painted with delicate strokes in a Progresso Quarto, a form that is admirably suited to the a very complicated form which you have mastered. The meter, rhyme, and rhyme scheme are carried out to perfection. The author's note background as usual was useful and informing.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you Preston for an outstanding review. With such glowing comments I should hire you as my publicist.
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Maybe, just returning the favor of the review you did for my book.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Trieschel,
all I can say is thank heavens we do not wear hats with feathers any more.
What Majestic birds they are. Your poem was quite informative as well as having a good rhythm and rhyme to it. Your author notes were good too, very interesting.
Great read.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Hi Trieschel,
all I can say is thank heavens we do not wear hats with feathers any more.
What Majestic birds they are. Your poem was quite informative as well as having a good rhythm and rhyme to it. Your author notes were good too, very interesting.
Great read.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you Brenda. Yes, thank goodness.
Comment from William Ross
very nice a good written poem on the White Egret, great rhyming and story of the bird, great picture you took as well. thanks for sharing both, and have a good day
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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very nice a good written poem on the White Egret, great rhyming and story of the bird, great picture you took as well. thanks for sharing both, and have a good day
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you very much, William.
