Hope
Little life lesson82 total reviews
Comment from jane.fallon
Excellent. I really like the way you suggest giving a homeless person a meal and that it is by being generous to others and spreading hope that we are blessed in so many ways (I call it "paying it forward").
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Excellent. I really like the way you suggest giving a homeless person a meal and that it is by being generous to others and spreading hope that we are blessed in so many ways (I call it "paying it forward").
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks
Comment from Judvan2
Oh, I love your poem. I am a big believer in your theory. It only works when given away. Like the natural order of things. You did a good job writing, gave good examples, and your rhyme and rhythm are good. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Oh, I love your poem. I am a big believer in your theory. It only works when given away. Like the natural order of things. You did a good job writing, gave good examples, and your rhyme and rhythm are good. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks
Comment from Javed05
This is a thoughtful poem about hope. It always grows if given to others. Author has chosen words well, and having fitted them into this form, they work well .it flows well. Thank you.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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This is a thoughtful poem about hope. It always grows if given to others. Author has chosen words well, and having fitted them into this form, they work well .it flows well. Thank you.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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THANKS
Comment from poetsteve15
we can all use a little hope sometimes, but yes by sharing with others we can make are troubles look smaller, that way we can count them as a blessing also. I enjoyed it, you had a strong message that you got across without using a hammer. GB
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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we can all use a little hope sometimes, but yes by sharing with others we can make are troubles look smaller, that way we can count them as a blessing also. I enjoyed it, you had a strong message that you got across without using a hammer. GB
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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THANKS
Comment from Joan E.
Thanks for your pep talk in these rhymed couplets in quatrains. I admired the lesson about "Hope always grows when given to others". Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks for your pep talk in these rhymed couplets in quatrains. I admired the lesson about "Hope always grows when given to others". Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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THANKS
Comment from Slythytove2
A great take on Hope sans the schmaltz. I took a point away because you had some difficulty with the second stanza. Three points come to mind that might make a difference with the meter.
1- In the first line it might have worked better or smother to have used "wishfully" instead of wishful. It's the same value, then you could have left out the "just". to read: wishfully thinking is fine when we're young- it allows the second line to follow without a bump.
2- The third line would read more evenly if you left out "more" altogether. The the last line could follow reading- "its action that works while hope comes up short"
3- In the last stanza- 2nd line there is a beat missing which could be made smother by adding a "just" between "only and smothers, to read:"if held for oneself it only just smothers" The meaning is the same and actually accentuates
the futility of selfishness, no?
An excellent poem needing just a slight tweek.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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A great take on Hope sans the schmaltz. I took a point away because you had some difficulty with the second stanza. Three points come to mind that might make a difference with the meter.
1- In the first line it might have worked better or smother to have used "wishfully" instead of wishful. It's the same value, then you could have left out the "just". to read: wishfully thinking is fine when we're young- it allows the second line to follow without a bump.
2- The third line would read more evenly if you left out "more" altogether. The the last line could follow reading- "its action that works while hope comes up short"
3- In the last stanza- 2nd line there is a beat missing which could be made smother by adding a "just" between "only and smothers, to read:"if held for oneself it only just smothers" The meaning is the same and actually accentuates
the futility of selfishness, no?
An excellent poem needing just a slight tweek.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thank you
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Don't worry- the lowest score is always thrown out.
Comment from alvina224224
An excellent entry for this contest, author. I particularly like the final line, which encapsulates the message in the poem, beautifully. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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An excellent entry for this contest, author. I particularly like the final line, which encapsulates the message in the poem, beautifully. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks a lot
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nicely written poem with many very good ideas.
-You really write so many good, sincere things about hope.
-You have to do something to earn hope--not just sit around and wait for it.
-It is so valuable, but we must share, show that we care.
-You describe the idea of "pay it forward."
-The reward is so much greater when you give, and enjoy the giving:
"Find someone homeless and give them a meal
Watch as they eat and see how you feel"
-Good conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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-Very nicely written poem with many very good ideas.
-You really write so many good, sincere things about hope.
-You have to do something to earn hope--not just sit around and wait for it.
-It is so valuable, but we must share, show that we care.
-You describe the idea of "pay it forward."
-The reward is so much greater when you give, and enjoy the giving:
"Find someone homeless and give them a meal
Watch as they eat and see how you feel"
-Good conclusion.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks
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You are welcome.
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine poem for the hope contest
It is action that results in change
you have to get up and do something
for hope to even have a chance
A very nicely rhymed poem in aabb pattern
Helping someone else returns the kindness
many fold, for true joy is in being a part
and participating in the world
Excellent entry
Best wishes in the contest
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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This is a fine poem for the hope contest
It is action that results in change
you have to get up and do something
for hope to even have a chance
A very nicely rhymed poem in aabb pattern
Helping someone else returns the kindness
many fold, for true joy is in being a part
and participating in the world
Excellent entry
Best wishes in the contest
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thank you
Comment from maryvellef
Very nicely written lines with just the perfect rhyme in each. And most of all, it really gives you a good lesson in this particular virtue. I like it a lot. I just found though the transition from hope to joy on the third stanza, third line is rather abrupt. It seems like we were still talking about the former, then we had jumped to something about the latter. Except for this, I find it perfect. Tks for sharing such a lesson.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Very nicely written lines with just the perfect rhyme in each. And most of all, it really gives you a good lesson in this particular virtue. I like it a lot. I just found though the transition from hope to joy on the third stanza, third line is rather abrupt. It seems like we were still talking about the former, then we had jumped to something about the latter. Except for this, I find it perfect. Tks for sharing such a lesson.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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THANKS