For You Have Gone
a Crown Of Sonnets (complete)27 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a major undertaking and you have done it proud. Metrically you clearly knew what you were about so I was able to concentrate on the meanings and emotions that lie behind the regularity of the form. You are amazingly forgiving. I get the impression that if he walked back into your life you would take him back without question.
Each of these is more than capable of standing alone in its own right. The linking lines never seem forced which can happen with this and similar forms.
Why not try the heroic crown contest? There's plenty of time, and you certainly possess the ability.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
  |
This is a major undertaking and you have done it proud. Metrically you clearly knew what you were about so I was able to concentrate on the meanings and emotions that lie behind the regularity of the form. You are amazingly forgiving. I get the impression that if he walked back into your life you would take him back without question.
Each of these is more than capable of standing alone in its own right. The linking lines never seem forced which can happen with this and similar forms.
Why not try the heroic crown contest? There's plenty of time, and you certainly possess the ability.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
-
What a wonderfully encouraging review! I can't thank you enough - I'll have to check the contest listing. Heroic crown? Hmm...after having done this one, I must admit, I'm smitten.
Once again, thank you very much!
Comment from Ulla
Oh, Dawn this is just so beautiful. It's so sad yet it shows the feeling of a very deep love. But a love that was not to be. Wonderful. You have never written a crown sonnet before and you come up with this. I didn't review yesterday as I wanted to award you a six. This indeed brings tears to my eyes. A hug. Ulla:)))
 |
Oh, Dawn this is just so beautiful. It's so sad yet it shows the feeling of a very deep love. But a love that was not to be. Wonderful. You have never written a crown sonnet before and you come up with this. I didn't review yesterday as I wanted to award you a six. This indeed brings tears to my eyes. A hug. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
Comment from Domino 2
Sorry, Dawn, but with respect I must be honest and say my attention spell wouldn't allow me to give an honest detailed review, though I must commend and respect you for completing this mammoth task.
I hope you're not offended, as I didn't want to ignore this 'Crown', and I hope you get some 'real' detailed reviews to counteract my laziness.
Bravo!
Lovely piano music choice, my friend.
Cheers, Ray xx
|
Sorry, Dawn, but with respect I must be honest and say my attention spell wouldn't allow me to give an honest detailed review, though I must commend and respect you for completing this mammoth task.
I hope you're not offended, as I didn't want to ignore this 'Crown', and I hope you get some 'real' detailed reviews to counteract my laziness.
Bravo!
Lovely piano music choice, my friend.
Cheers, Ray xx
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Dawn,
The form, the metre (even though despised?) and the smooth enjambment show you did dig really deep for this one. Well worth the six.
Regards
Reg
|
Dear Dawn,
The form, the metre (even though despised?) and the smooth enjambment show you did dig really deep for this one. Well worth the six.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
Comment from Gloria ....
Ah yes this is romance poetry at its finest. The lover gone, the dismay and loss of precious hope.
I think you've done a fabulous job with your Crown of Sonnets, Dawn and it is well worth a six star and more.
Your meter and rhyme is quite lovely and it reads out loud with beauty and grace.
Exceptional!
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
|
Ah yes this is romance poetry at its finest. The lover gone, the dismay and loss of precious hope.
I think you've done a fabulous job with your Crown of Sonnets, Dawn and it is well worth a six star and more.
Your meter and rhyme is quite lovely and it reads out loud with beauty and grace.
Exceptional!
Gloria
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
-
I am simply and honestly over the moon - I am a huge fan of your poetry, and this review means the world to me. Thank you!
Comment from GWinterwin
What a sad message in this poem, but very good word flow, and rhyming. The heartache of a broken relationship can be devastating. Thanks for another good read my friend.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
|
What a sad message in this poem, but very good word flow, and rhyming. The heartache of a broken relationship can be devastating. Thanks for another good read my friend.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
-
George, really? Four stars? Was that accidental or that's all you think that this poem is worth? How would you improve it?
-
Sorry Dawn I just hit the wrong one. I would never give you four starts
-
Hey, if that's all you believe something is worth, that's all I would want, but I'd hope to 'hear' suggestions. A Crown of Sonnets is considered "advanced poetry" and I worked hard on this one. Honestly, I would never want you to rate above what you felt a piece deserved, but this is some of my best work. I'm relieved!
-
No Hon you are too good to ever get a four as far as I'm concerned.
-
HA! Well, I'm not sure I'd agree - not every write. But you say so on the wrong work again - on "I Found Our Babysitter..." That's not the one you gave four stars - it's my Crown of Sonnets, "For You Have Gone".
-
Just kill me now. (LOL)
Comment from lightink
Wow! I'm so glad you posted the whole piece together! I read the first two, but the family life intervened before I could have reviewed it! I was delighted to read the whole piece in one!
Your so courageous to go for such a tender and true story to share! It unfolds with a lot of clarity and the emotional power of it takes the reader for a wild ride!
I was so hoping until the end!
I too wish you could record it! You did a wonderful job with this first crown! I hope very many more will come!
|
Wow! I'm so glad you posted the whole piece together! I read the first two, but the family life intervened before I could have reviewed it! I was delighted to read the whole piece in one!
Your so courageous to go for such a tender and true story to share! It unfolds with a lot of clarity and the emotional power of it takes the reader for a wild ride!
I was so hoping until the end!
I too wish you could record it! You did a wonderful job with this first crown! I hope very many more will come!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
Comment from Joan E.
Your poem exudes sorrow, and I can imagine your reading it dramatically but tenderly. The cascading repeats are quite effective and evocative. Your description of "entrenched inside my soul...you left a gaping hole" says it all along with your "dance" metaphor. A tour de force, for which I wish I had the six it deserves. Yes, time to "let go". Big hugs- Joan
|
Your poem exudes sorrow, and I can imagine your reading it dramatically but tenderly. The cascading repeats are quite effective and evocative. Your description of "entrenched inside my soul...you left a gaping hole" says it all along with your "dance" metaphor. A tour de force, for which I wish I had the six it deserves. Yes, time to "let go". Big hugs- Joan
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
Comment from justafan
True or not ...you have me in tears :(
I felt so completely empty and alone reading this! A love can last a lifetime in the heart where it doesn't have to face the rigors of life.
I am just sitting here with my hand over my heart, reading with tears rolling down my face.( dammit girl)
Missy
|
True or not ...you have me in tears :(
I felt so completely empty and alone reading this! A love can last a lifetime in the heart where it doesn't have to face the rigors of life.
I am just sitting here with my hand over my heart, reading with tears rolling down my face.( dammit girl)
Missy
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
Comment from royowen
Very well written Dawn, it's very neat, articulate very smooth, the timing and the scanning is immaculate, it is a masterpiece of writing, I haven't actually written even one, I've been close, but you are a hero, to write this many and so skilfully, well done, friend Dawn, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
|
Very well written Dawn, it's very neat, articulate very smooth, the timing and the scanning is immaculate, it is a masterpiece of writing, I haven't actually written even one, I've been close, but you are a hero, to write this many and so skilfully, well done, friend Dawn, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 16-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016
-
Oh Roy, you have no idea how lovely it is to 'hear' your kind words! Thank you very much!
-
Always my pleasure
-
Thank you, Roy!
-
Most welcome
