Grief
my own form - combined free verse & metered rhyme - ENTRY22 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Dawn, I really liked the Easter message in this fine poem, and the combination of free verse and rhymed verse is beautifully done. As you know I am far from knowledgeable when it comes to poetry, but I think you have done this to perfection with your lovely words. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:))
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Dawn, I really liked the Easter message in this fine poem, and the combination of free verse and rhymed verse is beautifully done. As you know I am far from knowledgeable when it comes to poetry, but I think you have done this to perfection with your lovely words. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 08-Mar-2016
Comment from boxergirl
Okay, Dawn, You are killing it this week...so glad I had another six for you. This is a great Easter Poem. Original form and the message so true...Because He lives, we can too! 8-)
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Okay, Dawn, You are killing it this week...so glad I had another six for you. This is a great Easter Poem. Original form and the message so true...Because He lives, we can too! 8-)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
Comment from Writingfundimension
'As blessed Easter does arrive,
In spite of anguish, I've survived,
And so, like him, I'll leave the tomb,
For I am fruit of Mother's womb.'
What a great contest entry, Dawn. I like the combination of styles -- certainly you are someone that can pull that off very nicely.
Good luck with this excellent entry!
Hugs, Bev
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'As blessed Easter does arrive,
In spite of anguish, I've survived,
And so, like him, I'll leave the tomb,
For I am fruit of Mother's womb.'
What a great contest entry, Dawn. I like the combination of styles -- certainly you are someone that can pull that off very nicely.
Good luck with this excellent entry!
Hugs, Bev
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love the structure of this one - the poem, interspersed with the italicized prayer, and finished off with a bible verse and brief commentary. A great Lenten reflection on grief and grace. thanks for sharing.
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I love the structure of this one - the poem, interspersed with the italicized prayer, and finished off with a bible verse and brief commentary. A great Lenten reflection on grief and grace. thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
Comment from michaelcahill
Wow. That was a spectacular surprise. What a rousing video.'Loved this piece and your style. Totally writing the way you see fit. I'm a big fan of that and I notice you're one to do so if it strikes you. An uplifting piece and comforting whatever one's woes happen to be. Thanks I needed it. mikey
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Wow. That was a spectacular surprise. What a rousing video.'Loved this piece and your style. Totally writing the way you see fit. I'm a big fan of that and I notice you're one to do so if it strikes you. An uplifting piece and comforting whatever one's woes happen to be. Thanks I needed it. mikey
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nicely done, Dawn, I loved it!
A little introduction in narration prior to getting to the "meat" of the matter here, which is the poetry, of course. After all, this IS a poetry contest.
Great spiritual statement about the TRUE meaning of Easter, and what it is really all about.
Just great work in all phases.
Best of luck to you in the Easter Poetry Contest.
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Nicely done, Dawn, I loved it!
A little introduction in narration prior to getting to the "meat" of the matter here, which is the poetry, of course. After all, this IS a poetry contest.
Great spiritual statement about the TRUE meaning of Easter, and what it is really all about.
Just great work in all phases.
Best of luck to you in the Easter Poetry Contest.
~Dean :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Uh, oh, Dean - I'm a little disappointed, but then, your comment about 'narration' has tipped me off - best I clarify right up front (so I did - the introduction to the title is now changed! So is the arrangement of the text.)
It is not "narration", my friend - it's free verse, combined with metered rhyme.
I am so tired of fighting this "form" thinking on this site - poets create the forms. I won't get lost in the thinking of others - you're too gifted to do that too. I hope you aren't offended, but serious 'thinking outside the box' is what colours our world, advances it. Some of the poetry snobs would have us believe otherwise - that is my opinion; I am allowed to say it. (I am not naming any one person, yes?)
Anyway, thank you for all the other wonderfully supportive comments, and actually, for tipping me off that I can probably expect a choppy sea, yet again...sigh... (Hopefully the lead-in will broaden some horizons before the read, as will the re-arrangement of the presentation, though I doubt it...)
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No, Dawn, I'm not offended in the slightest. As you may or may not already know, I'm a HUGE proponent for thinking outside the norm, or that proverbial "box" you mentioned. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes, it doesn't. So be it.
I write for me, and no one else but me. Who before me here used sounds, music, or animations in their posts? How many were doing that?
Case in point...heh-heh.
So, I have to agree with you. The snobs who can't handle the advancements of new technology, embrace and utilize them, will sadly be left behind in the dust, I'm afraid.
Of course, the writing--that MUST BE the catalyst which bonds it all together and makes it work.
You can polish a turd, but after you're done polishing it, it is still a piece of
sh!t...
~Dean
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Very true, and I love the phrase. LOL. No, my gripe is this - the words are the words! How they are arranged doesn't change the meaning of them, yet there are some who feel if they aren't leading the reader by the nose (yikes - polishing the crap comes to mind here) -lol), that somehow the poem's interpretation is affected. Puh-leeze: can anyone say "reading comprehension"? We are losing too many wonderful language skills to pretentious, so-called 'norms'.
As for the marvelous presentation you provide with your work - hey, slow down - yes, there was music/video provided long before I came onsite. In fact, it was Maureen who taught me how to incorporate video. Of course YOU have taken it to new heights by indoctrinating it right into the work itself, including sublime text and sound effects and so on...but Dean, the flak I took a few times JUST for including a video with my work! "The writing should stand alone", etc., as if mine didn't! Ticked me off big-time. I even wrote a poem to SAY mine did - I love it to this day, too. LOL!
I studied Advertising late in life precisely because I love putting together the whole package! (And it's like trying to pull those proverbial teeth, I know, for YOU because you've tried to share some expertise in that regard with me and I've not pursued it. In my pathetic attempt at a defense, I have SO much going on with the writing I simply haven't made it a priority time-wise...sigh...) But I WILL, I WILL, as long as you still have any patience left for me...?? (whimper) LOL.
Anyway, it's always such a pleasure to discuss these things with you - we seem to have some very similar attitudes about writing, and a host of other things as well!
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Yes, we do, Dawn. But it's often been said, great minds think alike, heh-heh...
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Ummmmmmmmm...(or fools seldom differ? HAhahahahah!)
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Ok, you still haven't sent me that link again though - I am reminded because of your signature here. I KNOW you have my email address. I KNOW it! Are you mad at me for not recording it when I should have? Hmm? Huh? Uh, sniffle, sniffle (*big, wide eyes peering soulfully; and... sad pout*...not nearly as cute as it was thirty years ago...LOL)
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Which link was that, Dawn? Please, refresh my memory...
Well, yeah, there's that too...
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Take your pick - LOL - no, all kidding aside, the fancy text one. :0) (I will, I will find time to learn!!!)
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Ok, that one too. LOL!!!
Comment from Unspoken94
This is a most inspirational poem with a very creative
way of designing this poem. I really liked it. Grief is such
a painful "animal" to live with and yet, you offer doors that
can keep us from being cornered with it. All the best in the
contest. I hesitate to post mine with the quality of pieces like
this. -Bill
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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This is a most inspirational poem with a very creative
way of designing this poem. I really liked it. Grief is such
a painful "animal" to live with and yet, you offer doors that
can keep us from being cornered with it. All the best in the
contest. I hesitate to post mine with the quality of pieces like
this. -Bill
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Ahhh, NOW I am 'found out'. (LOL) I am a poet 'rebel'. Have been all my life. My thinking is that poets are the ones who come up with 'forms', so what makes mine any less authentic? (*grinning big-time*) Just because I am not dust and bones...
I had a heck of a time on FanStory for a while...but writing more frequently "to form" has alleviated the pain of a few of those naysayers who seemed to enjoy destroying confidence (or trying to). I write what the muse demands! I honestly do NOT say that to be pretentious or sound like I think I know it all - it is the God-honest truth. I've been known to stop in the street to jot something down because it's knocking against my cranium on the way to buy groceries. LOL.
Do NOT tell me you hesitate to post ANYTHING you write (though I admit, it sounds familiar - been there, done that, still do at times...) You are a gifted writer, my friend, and maybe I am not the best writer, but I sure as heck am a qualified reader - believe it.
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You made me smile. Thanks.
Comment from frogbook
Really a nice one Dawn. Powerful and well written with it's wonderful rhymes and very strong ending line. Really a great one for this contest.
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Really a nice one Dawn. Powerful and well written with it's wonderful rhymes and very strong ending line. Really a great one for this contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
Comment from Realist101
Oh Dawn. Wow. What this says, HOW you say it. Just wow. This poem is more a sermon, and I mean that in a good way. It's like you speak to everyone of us who has a soul. At least this speaks volumes to me. I keep trying, even tho some days I want to just give up. Lovely work Dawn. x ps. Best wishes for a win here!
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Oh Dawn. Wow. What this says, HOW you say it. Just wow. This poem is more a sermon, and I mean that in a good way. It's like you speak to everyone of us who has a soul. At least this speaks volumes to me. I keep trying, even tho some days I want to just give up. Lovely work Dawn. x ps. Best wishes for a win here!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
Comment from Gloria ....
Dawn I actually really like your poetic form here. Some prose poetry and then into rhymed and metered is an elegant touch.
This is just beautiful and a lovely entry into the Easter Poetry Contest. I wish you all the best.
Gloria
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Dawn I actually really like your poetic form here. Some prose poetry and then into rhymed and metered is an elegant touch.
This is just beautiful and a lovely entry into the Easter Poetry Contest. I wish you all the best.
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
