Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for the details about Byron's Sonnets and for creating a model one of your own. I always listen to news when I drive--partly to use the time more productively and partly to distract myself just enough from the monotony! I admired your alliteration of "g's" and the idea of outrunning the "setting sun". Your rhyme choices support your theme remarkably well. Here's to the comforts of home! -Joan

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2016

Thank you Joan. Always a pleasure to hear from you.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Thanks once again for the informative notes accompanying this fine example of the Byronic sonnet. This makes he so glad to be out of the daily commuting rat race. I can even look back on it through the eyes of your sonnet and say "yes that was me once. Isn'T it grand I'm all done with it.

If I'm saying that then you have accomplished your aim.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. Yes, I have those very same feelings too. So good to be off the treadmill.

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your sonnet with the Italian flavour. I enjoy something a little different in techniques sometimes. This one aptly describes the tension people go through on the roads, though it is senseless, they may as well bang their heads on a brick wall. how much more beneficial it would be for them to listen to music, Giddy

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Giddy. Sound advice indeed.

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

Beautifully done work here in verse, presentation, content, enlightenment, and overall a gift to any reader to take awareness of their daily actions and what they should mean in "true values" rather than just daily "Habits"> Great Work: HIS GRAYNESS: Vance

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you very much Vance.

reply by His Grayness on 07-Jan-2016

As always..you are VERY welcomed and VERY WELL Deserved! Vance

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

An interesting sonnet. Thanks for the notes on Byron's sonnets and the rhyme scheme he preferred. There are so many variations on schemes for the sestet...

Lovely first line is strongly contrasted with the very ordinariness of line 2
'whether near or far away' rather repeats the meaning of the preceding line - possibly a chance to include some different perspective here.

'to which' in line 2 should be 'to whom' I think.

Strong rhyming and pleasingly regular iambic throughout.

I'm not quite satisfied with the way this ends - the last line seems a bit week, whereas the preceding line is stronger. I wonder if you could juggle all the lines in the sestet and reverse the rhyme order to make that (current line 13) your closing line...

Nice work, though.

Steve

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you kiwisteveh. I think you have made some pretty good observations. I did make that correction to "whom". I pondered your comment on the second Line, but believe it is required to set up the premise. If you have any suggestion I'd bpconsider it. The last line I thought nicely rounds the piece back to the first, and echoes the desire to get home.

reply by kiwisteveh on 07-Jan-2016

Just a couple of random thoughts - I've achieved my aim if you've looked at the poem again and considered your choices. Nice piece.

Steve

Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow

Excellent

Very nice job on the sonnet, and always good to have explanations of the forms, not all are familiar with them. Colorado Springs, ahh I know it well, spent many years of my life there. Seems you got around with Lockheed. Nice work.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you Dawn. Indeed I did. I appreciate your stopping by and commenting.

Comment from Bill Schott

Exceptional

This well-written Byronic Sonnet was easy to read and definitely fulfilled all the requirements for the form. The theme and message of HOME is very clear, giving the reasons that may not even consciously consider anymore.

...finally... residence ... reached...
...receive ... comfort of their mate...
...someone there to ... relate...

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you very much Bill. That was a precisely reasoned review. I appreciate your insight and those stars.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

This is an exquisite piece of poetry dear friend! It's sincerely a powerful philosophical sentiment. It reminds me of the fanstory community.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka x

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you Rebekka. That is a very high compliment.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

It is one of the perks of working far from home, the travelling can get to a person. We have sometimes travel by car and occasionally by train. A beautiful landscape helps for the stress levels. A beautiful picture.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you Sandra. Yes, landscape always helps.

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

many who are in the stress of traffic will find solace in knowing there is a loving mate waiting for then as they arrive to their domain. Blessings, Patricia

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016

Thank you Patricia. Yes, my wife pointed out that many will be alone too.