He Did What He Had To Do
Some times there's just nothing you can say27 total reviews
Comment from Dr. Nad
Thanks for writing this story and then re posting it now. You have taken a number of areas of interest for the common reader and brought them together in an intriguing narrative. Everything goes better with food LOL and so you have brought us to your lunch meeting. The camaraderie and friendship of fellow soldiers is poignant in your telling of this sad story. Down through the history of the world wars have been the subject of untold millions of painful conversations. Your rendition follows the trajectory of so many, good boy, good soldier, dead comrade and grieving mourners. There are two things that you've done in this telling that move the story along for me. Your repetition of the line: "He did what he had to do.". I also like the spacing of the conversation. Some people on fan story want paragraphs to be all clumped together. For me, it helps in the flow of the reading to have the space delineate the ebb and flow of responses. May God bless you!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
  |
Thanks for writing this story and then re posting it now. You have taken a number of areas of interest for the common reader and brought them together in an intriguing narrative. Everything goes better with food LOL and so you have brought us to your lunch meeting. The camaraderie and friendship of fellow soldiers is poignant in your telling of this sad story. Down through the history of the world wars have been the subject of untold millions of painful conversations. Your rendition follows the trajectory of so many, good boy, good soldier, dead comrade and grieving mourners. There are two things that you've done in this telling that move the story along for me. Your repetition of the line: "He did what he had to do.". I also like the spacing of the conversation. Some people on fan story want paragraphs to be all clumped together. For me, it helps in the flow of the reading to have the space delineate the ebb and flow of responses. May God bless you!
Comment Written 26-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this accounting of these events. I very strongly believe David and my friend's stories both need to be told. Your comments and support appreciated.
-
You are Welcome, Embrace the Love from Above!
Comment from teols2016
A powerful tale, and sadly one that's happened more than once, even when one time is too many. I have just one question. Why did you put your part of this in parentheses? It seems they are unessasary. Your story is powerful and your words only serve to enhance it. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
|
A powerful tale, and sadly one that's happened more than once, even when one time is too many. I have just one question. Why did you put your part of this in parentheses? It seems they are unessasary. Your story is powerful and your words only serve to enhance it. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this accounting of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Exceptional. This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read here on fanstory. It is a beautiful tribute to David. It is a story to bring tears to anyone's eyes. Great work.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
 |
Exceptional. This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read here on fanstory. It is a beautiful tribute to David. It is a story to bring tears to anyone's eyes. Great work.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this accounting of David's story. I felt it needed to be told, so I di. Then several FanStorians asked me to re-promote the piece because they did not see it the first time around. So, I did that too. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from trumby
I got teary over this, mate. I always maintain that only a good, well-written story can do that.
I'm afraid that I'm a bit too much of a physical disaster to have been able to join the army & go off to fight in foreign lands.
I had my smash at 14. The army won't admit cripples
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2016
|
I got teary over this, mate. I always maintain that only a good, well-written story can do that.
I'm afraid that I'm a bit too much of a physical disaster to have been able to join the army & go off to fight in foreign lands.
I had my smash at 14. The army won't admit cripples
Comment Written 05-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed the telling of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from chcbeck
You are right I am of the same opinion if a story needs telling then it does not matter about word count. A remarkable story, written in a conversational way. I enjoyed every word.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2016
|
You are right I am of the same opinion if a story needs telling then it does not matter about word count. A remarkable story, written in a conversational way. I enjoyed every word.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed the telling of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from robyn corum
1.) Unashamed,, tears streaming down his weathered brow, my friend said, "And, in 27 years of
--> you have two commas after 'unashamed'
Brett,
This is a tragic tale - from many standpoints. Thinking of Private McGuire, of course, and his family, along with the Sergeant and the fine men who served with him. Thanks for sharing. I think there are still lots of great men sacrificing for our country (and others) but it seems we are quicker to hear the bad stuff.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
|
1.) Unashamed,, tears streaming down his weathered brow, my friend said, "And, in 27 years of
--> you have two commas after 'unashamed'
Brett,
This is a tragic tale - from many standpoints. Thinking of Private McGuire, of course, and his family, along with the Sergeant and the fine men who served with him. Thanks for sharing. I think there are still lots of great men sacrificing for our country (and others) but it seems we are quicker to hear the bad stuff.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this little accounting of a special lunch I shared with a friend of mine. With men, and women, like this serving in our military do believe this country is still in good hands. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from c_lucas
We never know what we are made of until we have to prove our metal. Although my crippling disease freed me from serving, I lost many a high school friend in Viet Nam. This is very well written and is well worth the sixer.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2015
|
We never know what we are made of until we have to prove our metal. Although my crippling disease freed me from serving, I lost many a high school friend in Viet Nam. This is very well written and is well worth the sixer.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed the depiction of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Zue65
Oh my, you got me teary-eyed in this one, my heart bleeds for David McGiure, he was true soldier, a hero that must be remembered and given proper honor by telling his story to students and little children, how great the American spirit is. I also bleed for Sergeant Donaldson, for he will live with the memory of a soldier dying in front of his eyes, his body blown by a bomb, which David chose to bed on, to save his comrades. This is the aftermath of war, and there are too many casualties, far too many to count. Thanks for sharing an inspiring write.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015
|
Oh my, you got me teary-eyed in this one, my heart bleeds for David McGiure, he was true soldier, a hero that must be remembered and given proper honor by telling his story to students and little children, how great the American spirit is. I also bleed for Sergeant Donaldson, for he will live with the memory of a soldier dying in front of his eyes, his body blown by a bomb, which David chose to bed on, to save his comrades. This is the aftermath of war, and there are too many casualties, far too many to count. Thanks for sharing an inspiring write.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed the telling of this conversation I had with Sergeant Donaldson.
He has served five tours in Somalia, and been through quite a lot himself.
I really got to know David McGuire through this encounter with my friend.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice job on this very moving tale. The one thing I would say is too avoid too many interruptions in between the sergeant telling the story; it interrupts the natural flow of the story. Overall very good. Have a great day!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015
|
Nice job on this very moving tale. The one thing I would say is too avoid too many interruptions in between the sergeant telling the story; it interrupts the natural flow of the story. Overall very good. Have a great day!
Comment Written 15-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2015
-
Wrote this pretty much exactly how the conversation with my friend went. Glad you enjoyed the retelling of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Curly Girly
This is a sad story. War is brutal.
Suggestions:
Regardless of his puny size."
Delete: "
Regardless of his puny size.
* You don't need to put this in brackets:
("I'm all for that," I said)
Suggest:
"I'm all for that," I said[.]
David's blonde hair,
David's blond hair,
blonde = used for female
blond = used for male
Blonde / blond comes from French, where they use different adjectives for males and females.
You wrote:
("That's good," I silently thought to myself)
*Suggest: put thoughts into italics (slanted font).
You wrote:
I know.
I was there.
I was his sergeant."
* Is this all one person speaking? If so, write it this way:
"I know. I was there. I was his sergeant."
Unashamed,, tears
Unashamed, tears
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2015
|
This is a sad story. War is brutal.
Suggestions:
Regardless of his puny size."
Delete: "
Regardless of his puny size.
* You don't need to put this in brackets:
("I'm all for that," I said)
Suggest:
"I'm all for that," I said[.]
David's blonde hair,
David's blond hair,
blonde = used for female
blond = used for male
Blonde / blond comes from French, where they use different adjectives for males and females.
You wrote:
("That's good," I silently thought to myself)
*Suggest: put thoughts into italics (slanted font).
You wrote:
I know.
I was there.
I was his sergeant."
* Is this all one person speaking? If so, write it this way:
"I know. I was there. I was his sergeant."
Unashamed,, tears
Unashamed, tears
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed the depiction of these events. Your comments and support appreciated.
