Reviews from

To Cherish Thorns

Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "Just A Thousand Oceans"
Free Verse Poetry

12 total reviews 
Comment from Unspoken94
Excellent
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Michael, this is an excellent free-verse poem. I especially
appreciate the way you arranged it. I just want to
congratulate you on winning the contest. Yours was
clearly the best. Bill

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2015

Comment from ann marie mazz
Excellent
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good morning poet

this is truly beautiful poetry
you do free verse proud here in this entry
you have met the challenge

the theme is lovely
the voice and tone are marvelous
the reader can see attention to detail
not to mention command and control
all is well throughout including the title

thank you for sharing your talent
best of luck with the contest
ann marie




 Comment Written 08-Dec-2015

Comment from I am Cat
Excellent
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Hi Mikey,
I find your voice considerably more appealing than Tori's in this song... so there's that.
When i first read this... actually, the first THREE times I read this.. (as I suppose I was having a dumb shit attack) I thought...

that's not personification... LOL (oops, and it's not in that contest either) duh

so yeah... this is a gorgeous free verse... and of course, because you know what the hell you're doing. ;)
you're not going to open a personification contest and then not personify. LOL

my favorite part:

our souls dance in the mist
far out to sea
where no one need be privy
a sweet embrace
that is only beautiful

(next time... tell Tori to go away... ) ;)
hugs
you have an awesome voice.
Cat

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2015
    Gee, that has got to be the best compliment I've ever received. I'm sure Tori would be pissed beyond recognition. Hahaha!!!!!
    Glad you liked this. That's my favorite part too. Thank you so much. You make me smile. mikey
Comment from Neonewman
Excellent
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Wow! Love the song with you and Tori, what a great addition to accompany this wonderfully crafted, romantic piece you have delivered.
God bless!
steve

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
    Thank you so much. Yeah, I was more worried about the song then the poem to be honest. :))
    So pleased you enjoyed. Blessings
reply by Neonewman on 07-Dec-2015
    It was awesome!
Comment from Gloria ....
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Exceptional presentation and highly romantic, poem. The poet has established a pristine setting on a beach to ponder his love and the depth of their union--sacred and yet not sacred at the same time. The words are a profound declaration of poetic ambiguity necessary to contemplate the mystery of the universe and the mortar, the concrete that holds it all together--love.

The music is terrific, there were even Bieber type moments mingled with Tori Amos. I'm sure she would be thrilled you sang a duet together.

The poem is exceptionally well constructed with rhythms that ebb and flow with occasional rhymes and other poetic devices.

Best wishes to you in the contest. This is a top-notch entry.

Gloria

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
    I'm so very pleased you understand my intentions fully with this piece. I love your analysis, it's just spot on and even clarifying to me as the author. What a treat it is to read for me.
    Appreciate the compliments on the music. I am far more nervous about that of course. So, quite relieved. Thank you kindly. :))
Comment from writeapoem
Excellent
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A thousand Oceans. I enjoyed this in depth comparison of love. The Ocean and mysterious motion of its waves The writer of Genesis gives these creation sentences in the first chapter, the one I love most, is Genesis 1:2 "And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters" All the best and God Bless

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
    What a breathtaking image that is. One of my favorites too.
    So pleased you enjoyed my piece. Blessings to you. :))
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Well written poem depicting the vast emptiness of loving someone but not having that love reciprocated in turn.

Uses terms such as "such is love when the oceans do not approve" to much better illustrate this emotion.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
    I'm pleased you caught the theme so perfectly. Thank you so much. :))
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
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This is a good poem which I read more than once to appreciate it further. A nicely laid out and creative piece describing a long distance relationship, forbidden...
Well done on this enjoyable read and good luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
    Thank you so much. You have it exactly. :))
Comment from Eric1
Excellent
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Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, this is a wonderfully descriptive poem which - even though it's free verse has a lovely flow to it, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is so delicate and poignant. I dont think I have ever heard a forbidden or untimely love ever described so perfectly. It isnt always some weak person straying. Sometimes hearts collide and love happens. There is no denying it. Many will feel this deeply.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2015