Reviews from

senryu(I woke this morning)

senryu contest entry

27 total reviews 
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes! This is me every time I arise. Getting old is NO fun. I'm a good ten years ahead of you too my friend! :D PS. It only gets worse...I shouldn't be so negative. Please take good care while you're young! Susan

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2015

reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015
    Well then I am in trouble if it only gets worse! I already wake with aches and pains and some of them follow throughout the day. I certainly need to exercise and lose weight. Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I missed reading this one, Steve. This is a good observation of the human condition. I have the same feeling everyday, now that I'm "progressing in years." Ha! Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
    LOL! Me too Marilyn. But we must march on lol! Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from LateBloomer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Neonewman, A fun senryu that made me laugh and think ... if the snap, crackle, pop wasn't the sound of the cereal, than what was it?! So, I had to put my imaginary cap on, and this is what I can up with:

Granny putting on her girdle

(The crackling of granny's bones;
The popping of her gnarled knuckles;
and the snapping of her latex girdle
as she tenderly tries to pull it up ...
Lol, that's one version, the other is X-rated.)

Very good. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
    Thank you kindly for the awesome review LateBloomer. LOL! Love the analogy you offered, had me cracking up! When I get out of bed in the morning my bones snap, crackle and pop!
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from NJK62
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked this poem in which you make good use of the form. You take a common association of the words 'snap, crackle, pop', in this case the cereal, and subvert it in the satori line, to become a commentary on the effects of old age. Just as a senryu should! Well done. You deserve to do well in the competition!

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Thank you NJK62 for this descriptive, awesome review my friend.
    God bless!
    Steve
reply by NJK62 on 28-Oct-2015
    Pleasure!
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cleverly written. I love it. This creates an idea for the reader to think what the crackle and pop is. Waking up early in the morning there was a crackle and a pop.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Thank you Dom for the awesome review my friend. This is how I wake up now a days lol!
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love it. My mornings seem to start that way as well. Excellent senyru following all the rules. Creative and clever and funny. Well done and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Thank you Jmf4119 for this most inspiring review my friend.
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I woke with three guys this morning, Charlie, Ben and Will
Charlie Horse, Ben Gay and Will Power. Charlie kicked me in the calf, Ben was a stinker fro the rub he gave me last night and Will was standing saying, "Pat you can do it, so get up."

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
    LOL! Thank you for this awesome, humorous review Pat. I love it!
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from JuneYvonne
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This brilliant - very funny and oh so true as time marches on. Since we have been able to vote for ourselves in contests I have usually done just that - why wouldn't I? - but when I read this I had to admit it was better than mine! Good luck in the contest - you have my vote and I hope you win.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
    I agree June, if you don't think your work is good enough to vote for it, then you should edit lol! Thank you for the uplifting support my friend.
    God bless!'
    Steve
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is funny! Nice senryu. This should make a nice entry for the contest. Thank you for sharing. I wish you good luck and happy writing!

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
    Thank you OnyxSapphire for this most awesome of reviews.'
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment from Lovinia
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi NeoNewman

This crackled me up this morning ... then I snapped and popped. :) Gosh, know the feeling, some mornings just do that to ya. lol I'm feeling this along with you ... of course, a good cup of coffee and all is renewed. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Ironic for sure ... and not in the cereal. LOL Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2015

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
    Thank you Lovi for the awesome review. Yes! Coffee cures all I feel.
    God bless!
    Steve
reply by Lovinia on 28-Oct-2015

    Hey Steve
    You wrote a great senryu. I loved it. Not a winner in the contest, but a winner for sure. Making morning coffee, snack, crackle and pop in. LOL Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo