Comment from Patricia Dsouza

Excellent

You have a way with vocabulary and expressions. You surely get reader fasten their seat belts and take them on a long ride. I would love to read more of your work. Brilliant quantity of work!

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2015

Thank you for embarking on the long journey with me, I hope I can keep you reading and enjoying the work. I aim to write works that I myself would love to sit down and read. Thank you again for the kind review and I hope you stick with me through the book. :)

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

Wow, it very impressive that you were able to write this in two hours. It's well written and has a very good flow. I didn't see any spaags, but then again I was so engrossed in the story that I might have missed them. But, no, I don't so, because any flaw would have stood out. It really kept my interest, and the details really set the scene and describe your characters well.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2015

Thank you for your encouraging words sibhus, I was so engrossed in writing this chapter that I actually went past the usual amount of writing I would normally do. I did some minor edits to vaguely improve the flow or wording in some places but other than that it is relatively untouched. I hope you continue to read and let me know if anything jumps out spaag -wise in future?