The Game Part One
Alisha and Michael arrive on Anthony's yacht4 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL, I am always doing that! I am glad you managed to get back on the internet, it feels like you've lost a limb without it. Bet all the weeds are back now! :) xxx
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016
  |
LOL, I am always doing that! I am glad you managed to get back on the internet, it feels like you've lost a limb without it. Bet all the weeds are back now! :) xxx
Comment Written 31-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2016
-
They certainly are! Thank you for your review, my friend. Every one counts! Alexis xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Ten days of cutting grass and pulling weeds, anywhere, would be an all out night mare. As a matter of fact, mowing the lawn, period, is a pain in the caboose. :-)
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
|
Ten days of cutting grass and pulling weeds, anywhere, would be an all out night mare. As a matter of fact, mowing the lawn, period, is a pain in the caboose. :-)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
-
So True, and it all took much longer than I expected so I was chasing my tail before I got back! Many thanks for your review and apologies for the length of time it took to get back to you. Alexis xxx
Comment from barkingdog
It does look a little sketchy--the game at Anderson's. Maybe, something will come to Anthony since he is feeling uneasy about it.
The couple seem happy to be out of their camper and into a proper room on the yacht.
I liked that Michael was upfront about his financial position.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
|
It does look a little sketchy--the game at Anderson's. Maybe, something will come to Anthony since he is feeling uneasy about it.
The couple seem happy to be out of their camper and into a proper room on the yacht.
I liked that Michael was upfront about his financial position.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
-
The problem is, it lulls Anthony into trusting him more than he should. I'd like to suggest Alisha will be getting her best night's sleep in months, but maybe not! Alexis xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
I like this, Alexis. Very sophisticated and smart. Yet it concerns real people with real problems, along with some likely forbidden attraction.
Anthony was just about to suggest that she availed herself [...suggest that she AVAIL ? herself... >> I'm almost 100 % sure my suggested correction is right, but I don't know the grammatical rule. He is, however, talking about a future event, so I'm almost positive "avail" is correct.]
You mention "early night" several times so far. Is that a UK/Aussi term? Does it mean the same as "going to bed early?" Just asking.]
. I have to keep my wits about me if I'm playing tonight. [... my wits about me WHEN or WHILE ? I'm playing tonight. >> It was already established he was playing tonight.]
players under those kind of circumstances, [those KINDS of circumstances. >> "those" and "circumstances" are plural.]
Anthony frowned back at him. [To me, this seems to imply that Michael first frowned at Anthony.]
Good ending, with Anthony's vague foreboding.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
|
I like this, Alexis. Very sophisticated and smart. Yet it concerns real people with real problems, along with some likely forbidden attraction.
Anthony was just about to suggest that she availed herself [...suggest that she AVAIL ? herself... >> I'm almost 100 % sure my suggested correction is right, but I don't know the grammatical rule. He is, however, talking about a future event, so I'm almost positive "avail" is correct.]
You mention "early night" several times so far. Is that a UK/Aussi term? Does it mean the same as "going to bed early?" Just asking.]
. I have to keep my wits about me if I'm playing tonight. [... my wits about me WHEN or WHILE ? I'm playing tonight. >> It was already established he was playing tonight.]
players under those kind of circumstances, [those KINDS of circumstances. >> "those" and "circumstances" are plural.]
Anthony frowned back at him. [To me, this seems to imply that Michael first frowned at Anthony.]
Good ending, with Anthony's vague foreboding.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your excellent suggestions, Jay, and also for persevering. Still in France working off my 'dongle' the internet went down while I was posting. Not only did it tell me I couldn't use 'The Game Part One,' when I got back on line, it turned both my attempts into short stories. Thanks to Tom, it's now sorted! Alexis xxx
