Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

This is an excellent piece of blank verse extolling the Lord as architgect of all natural things. The iambs are well nigh perfect except for this line:

"the hooting owl and coyote's eerie song."

Now I'm not frome the USA but as I understand it coyote has three syllable and this raise the count in this line to 11 so it doesn't sit as confortably as it should. A comma after owl and removal of the and would put it to rights without any loss of sense.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Thank you for the excellent review and the suggestions. I appreciate you taking the time to read and give thoughtful comments to help me improve. This was my first attempt at blank verse and I was hoping for some helpful comments. It is much harder than it looks to write blank verse. I am not sure I will attempt another any time soon, but I have new respect for those who do.

You had me doubting my pronunciation so I looked up coyote. It can be said either
kahy-oh'-tee or kahy'-oht (leaving the "e" silent on the end)
Where I live we leave the "e" silent

This look like another word to add to my list of unwise words to use in poetry because of varying pronunciation right next to "contrite" and "been."

Thanks again for the great review.

reply by Pantygynt on 13-Aug-2015

Thay's interesting about coyote. I must remember that.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

This has outstanding imagery dear Wendy! It's sincerely breathtaking! It also has a deep message which takes the poem to new heights.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka x

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Hi Rebekka,

I appreciate the encouraging comments and am happy you liked it. Thank you for taking the time to read and share you thoughts.

Debi

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

I liked this poem, it has some good imagery in its thoughts and phrases. I do have one suggestion for this line... the rainbow formed of trees, and flowers and plants,
Mt suggestion would be to remove the and before the word flowers. As it is not needed there and will work and read better without it... the rainbow formed of trees, flowers and plants,

I still enjoyed reading this well thought out piece of poetic art. It has a very positive thought process in its phrases... John

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015

Hi John,

Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate you making suggestions as they are always welcome. I would need to replace the word before flowers with another unstressed syllable somehow or the iambic meter would be off, otherwise I agree with you totally.

I appreciate you taking time to thoughtfully read and offer suggestions to help me improve. It means so much more to get a review like this. It was my first blank verse so I appreciate getting constructive feedback. It was so hard to NOT rhyme in several places and to remember that is was not free verse but needed to stick to strict meter requirement. It was worth trying once.

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

wjdebi, wonderful poem of praise. nice alliteration
in whirling waltz and dew drops. I like the phrase
whirling waltz of stars with moon and clouds.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Thank you for a great review and kind comments about the writing. I appreciate you pointing out the phrase you liked.

Comment from Benny Beeharry

Excellent

Hi my friend
This is a great tribute to the One who made it all. Not many see it and enjoy it ,most prone to destroy. We must stop for a while and think of it all. We want to know God but we scorn his gifts and the channels He sends his love to us.
Well done . god bless.

Ps sorry i am late. Been decorating the house.
Benny Beeharry

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Hi Benny Beeharry,

Thank you for the kind comments about the writing, and your insightful remarks on the topic.

Yes, it is a busy time of year. I haven't been to the site much myself the last couple of weeks. I hope your decorating is going well.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

This is very well penned, my friend. I like the continuity of the structure throughout, especially repetition of the first line of each stanza and the imagery/symbolism of the second line. ~Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Thank you for the detailed and insightful review. I appreciate you commenting on the structure and the elements you liked. Reviews such as this are helpful in letting me know what works. Debi

Comment from EricBrady

Excellent

A beautiful description of the many blessings that God has given each of us, that we so often take for granted. all of God's creatures and the water, earth and sky were so wonderfully made. You have perfected a picture that only God could have created. Beautiful images and sounds brought about by your words.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Thank you for the gracious and encouraging comments. I appreciate you describing how the poem made you feel, and the insightful comments about the blessings that we are given.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

There are so many wonders on this beautiful Earth, we should be eternally grateful to God. Lovely descriptions of Nature and well chosen words. Faye

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Hi Faye,

Thank you for the wonderful stars and the encouraging comments. I appreciate you insightful remarks on the topic.

Debi

Comment from poetadeu

Excellent

The imagery is wonderful and it reads very well aloud.
I stepped it to a quick tempo and loved the impact, the
visual effects you have produced. Beauty is in the heart
of the reader when it is inspired. You have written an inspiring piece and thank you for sharing it.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015

Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate your insights on the topic and the writing. God bless.

reply by poetadeu on 11-Aug-2015

It was my pleasure...::}}Joyce

reply by Anonymous Member on 14-Aug-2015

It was my pleasure...::}}Joyce

Comment from JanPerry

Excellent

Its a nice compliment to our creator. I don't know the word yea here. I'm not especially religious. Perhaps you can tell me.
A lot of imagery and references to nature. Lovely adjectives.
good work.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015

Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing. I happy you enjoyed it and connected with the imagery and references to nature, and that you liked the adjectives. It always helps to know what works so I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.

The word "yea" as used in the old King James version of the Bible can be interpreted as "yes" or "indeed". For example in the line "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." you could replace "yea" with either "yes" or "indeed" and it would make sense.

I suppose I could have called the poem "Indeed" and put it in place of "yea" but it just felt right when I was writing it.

Thank you again for the lovely review and generous stars.

reply by JanPerry on 11-Aug-2015

yea is close to yeah which means yes