Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Seems he just wanted to handle the divorce proceedings all by lonesome little ole self. Picture depicts a sure fire way to do just that. Well written Script that draws readers into the scene and much better allows them to experience all the sights unfolding around them. Well done.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015

Brett
Thanks for the encouraging review. Glad to see your name again.
Marv

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

'The bull' must have gotten lanced, without anyone notifying me. [No comma needed after "lanced".]

You know, Marv, this is very hard to follow toward the end, with lots of dialogue sans speech tags and obscure references.

I think the major problem is that its posted without a summary of the previous chapters. There is so much time between posts that at least this reader has trouble remembering the characters.

I think this would probably read just fine if one started at the beginning and continued on without a break of a few weeks.

Just a suggestion, Marv.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015

Thanks for the 'comma' tip.
More tags would be a big help. In the future, I'll summarize previous chapters.
This chapter was hard to write because portions of chapter 10 had to be rewritten along with it.
I agree there was too much time between submissions. This is only the beginning of chapter 19. The balance to come soon, I hope. Thanks for saying 'I think this would probably read just fine if one started at the beginning and continued on without a break of a few weeks.'
Your suggestions are always valid.