Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Paths"poems inspired by Psalm 23
25 total reviews
Comment from Writingfundimension
'The blessing comes, it always does,
so when our trial has thorns or worse
remember it may be because
the paths of faith are so diverse.'
I just love this poem, Debi. You included some of the more inspiring biblical personages, which gives weight to the idea of diversity. So well done!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
  |
'The blessing comes, it always does,
so when our trial has thorns or worse
remember it may be because
the paths of faith are so diverse.'
I just love this poem, Debi. You included some of the more inspiring biblical personages, which gives weight to the idea of diversity. So well done!
:) Bev
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
-
Hi Bev,
It is so good to hear from you. And thank you for the fabulous six stars!
I am please you enjoyed this poem and the stories I used. Thank you for the encouraging comments.
I look forward to your next chapter.
Debi :)
-
You're very welcome, my friend. I've got one I'm almost ready to push the button on :)
Comment from artemis53
Very well done. I know the stories and was very content to read them as they flowed together so smoothly. What an enjoyable piece.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
 |
Very well done. I know the stories and was very content to read them as they flowed together so smoothly. What an enjoyable piece.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. I am pleased to hear you enjoyed this piece.
Comment from Spitfire
I love the opening line and its repetition in each stanza. You give many detailed examples to prove the theme. No matter how bad things can get, we must trust in God's purpose.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
|
I love the opening line and its repetition in each stanza. You give many detailed examples to prove the theme. No matter how bad things can get, we must trust in God's purpose.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the great review, Shari. I appreciate your insights about trusting in God. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing too.
Debi
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hi Debi,
Great story to portray your thought in this piece.
We humans like to think we should know everything, (see, smart-phones, lol), but our learning experiences, painful or precious, are a huge part of our path through life and are placed within our parameters to help us grow.
Loved the solid rhyme and meter you used to tell your story and make your point...well done, my friend.
Hope all is well in your neck of the woods:)
Bill
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
|
Hi Debi,
Great story to portray your thought in this piece.
We humans like to think we should know everything, (see, smart-phones, lol), but our learning experiences, painful or precious, are a huge part of our path through life and are placed within our parameters to help us grow.
Loved the solid rhyme and meter you used to tell your story and make your point...well done, my friend.
Hope all is well in your neck of the woods:)
Bill
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
-
Hi Bill,
Yes, we do like to think we control everything, don't we? But the best lessons are often the ones we don't plan on. I appreciate your insights. Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing.
Debi
Comment from AvL
In her quatern "The Paths," w.j.debi exhibits craftsman-like control not only over her biblical material, but also over rhyme and meter. In amazingly few words, she synopsizes the stories of Joseph, of David, and of Esther, and in so doing, she interweaves these bible-stories into one "mini-mega-narrative," shall we call it? Her use of end-words that rhyme with "diverse" is the unifying-device in all four stanzas: well-done. One very small quibble: I would eliminate the indefinite article in line two of stanza three. This is inspired stuff ... Kudos.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
|
In her quatern "The Paths," w.j.debi exhibits craftsman-like control not only over her biblical material, but also over rhyme and meter. In amazingly few words, she synopsizes the stories of Joseph, of David, and of Esther, and in so doing, she interweaves these bible-stories into one "mini-mega-narrative," shall we call it? Her use of end-words that rhyme with "diverse" is the unifying-device in all four stanzas: well-done. One very small quibble: I would eliminate the indefinite article in line two of stanza three. This is inspired stuff ... Kudos.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the very encouraging review. I appreciate the comments about the writing and the interweaving of the bible stories. I love the phrase "mini-mega-narrative." Very creative. I also appreciate the suggestion of eliminating the indefinite article. Do you have a suggestion for a better word to replace it? To preserve the syllable count and meter in that line I need an unstressed word. Your thoughts?
Again, thank you. Debi
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem. Good job with the format. It seems difficult, but you have made it work well with your well chosen words.
The artwork is great. Good job with the rhyme and flow. I like the message at the end. The author notes are so informative.
Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
|
I enjoyed your poem. Good job with the format. It seems difficult, but you have made it work well with your well chosen words.
The artwork is great. Good job with the rhyme and flow. I like the message at the end. The author notes are so informative.
Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the kind comments. I appreciate the encouragement.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi debi - this is a lovely quatern and I like that repeated line 'the paths of fate are so diverse'. The structure of the poem is perfect. I like the bible stories you chose to give examples regarding that repeated line. I think the story of Joseph is the best example of how fate worked in his favour. Who would have guessed that Joseph, sold by his brothers to become a slave would end up ruling Egypt. A real feel good story with a happy ending. Very good poem. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
|
Hi debi - this is a lovely quatern and I like that repeated line 'the paths of fate are so diverse'. The structure of the poem is perfect. I like the bible stories you chose to give examples regarding that repeated line. I think the story of Joseph is the best example of how fate worked in his favour. Who would have guessed that Joseph, sold by his brothers to become a slave would end up ruling Egypt. A real feel good story with a happy ending. Very good poem. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2015
-
Hi Dorothy.
Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing and your insights about the story of Joseph.
Debi
Comment from Nosha17
It is true, we have to surmount many problems in life and our faith may waver along the way, but it is all part of life's plan. I liked the inclusion of the biblical stories to illuminate the message. Excellent rhyming. Faye
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
|
It is true, we have to surmount many problems in life and our faith may waver along the way, but it is all part of life's plan. I liked the inclusion of the biblical stories to illuminate the message. Excellent rhyming. Faye
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the excellent review and for sharing your insights about the message, Faye. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a wonderfully written poem in the Quatern form which is so interesting in itself. You've made your verse flow easily, which doesn't seem forced. Your talent shows in this piece. Marilyn
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
|
This is a wonderfully written poem in the Quatern form which is so interesting in itself. You've made your verse flow easily, which doesn't seem forced. Your talent shows in this piece. Marilyn
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for the very kind comments about the writing, Marilyn. I am happy you found the Quatern form interesting. Debi
Comment from Benny Beeharry
I will certainly remember. Your writing is so calm ,inside and full of faith which makes me happy this morning.
I love it.not because of the faith that others have or show, but because of the faith you have. Cling to it. God bless.
At sometimes in our life we feel like being orphans...a feeling inside, then we have no fear. We understand that God leavesfor a moment to give us strength and a chance to use our own resources. Religion is not that important, it is the teaching of the wise ones that are important.
Take care.
Benny beeharry
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
|
I will certainly remember. Your writing is so calm ,inside and full of faith which makes me happy this morning.
I love it.not because of the faith that others have or show, but because of the faith you have. Cling to it. God bless.
At sometimes in our life we feel like being orphans...a feeling inside, then we have no fear. We understand that God leavesfor a moment to give us strength and a chance to use our own resources. Religion is not that important, it is the teaching of the wise ones that are important.
Take care.
Benny beeharry
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
-
Thank you for incredible review, Benny Beeharry. I appreciate your insightful comments. There is a lot to be learned from the wise ones, and it is even better if applied to life. I am delighted to hear that this verse made you feel happy. That is an excellent compliment. Bless you. Debi