Comment from Walter L. Jones

Exceptional

I do not know how many they give me, but you will get all I have, lost tin the tale, and wandering back and forth to accomplish the task of understanding and repeated words, always a smile, thanks, Walt

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2016

You have six stars, but don't worry about any sixes. Your enjoyment tickles me enough.

Comment from lancellot

Exceptional

You can describe a near death experience the first person so well, it is almost like you been through it. Great imagery, and to know it was all from the drugs.

note:


I found my eyes {grazing} through the space that had been occupied

- are you sure about this word?

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015

Well, I was a child of the sixties, after all. About "grazing" ... yes it was intended, like cattle nudging their way through a pasture. It jolted another, besides yourself, though. And how many thought, "a typing error" or "what an idiot" but didn't bother to mention it. Thanks, my friend. I may have to take a look at it. I don't want the reader locked out of the flow. OH MY GOD! I didn't eve thank you for the generous 6 star rating. Just know you are appreciated.

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Jay. This is scary stuff mate. Once again it is a top quality chapter filled with amazing imagery and brilliant, descriptive content. Very interesting work once again. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015

Thank you, Fez. Glad to have you aboard this one. Only three chapters.

Comment from Gone but not forgotten

Excellent

My appetite is whetted. More Zarbs! More Pomnots! This chapter put me in a dream-like state. I was trying to remember, too...something about Zarbs...

Will read more of your work another day. Thanks!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015

Ah-Ha! I'll post the next chapter Wednesday. Thanks so much for your kind words, friend. You are appreciated.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I see I miss a few posts while I was on vacation, but I remember the characters very well. You did a great job with descriptions and emotions in this post. Good writing.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015

Hope you had a scrumptious vacation, Barbara. I think the only thing you missed was the re-post of the chapter just before this one. It had originally posted 4 months ago (when the novel stalled). Now that I'm up and rolling again, I included in the re-post a summary of the previous 20 chapters. No pressure, but in case you want to read the summary, here's the link: http://classic.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=750469. Thanks for your kind words and rating.

Comment from krprice

Excellent

As though. . . I found my eyes grazing . . . Maybe gazing or surveying.

Same paragraph. Delete 'that' in last sentence.

Excellent description.

Too many semi-colons. Consider changing to periods.

Great chapter.

Karlene

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015

I am so happy to have you back reviewing again, Karlene. I'll check on that "that". I probably have included too many semis. I know editors don't like them. Thanks again. Don't be a stranger.

Comment from Annette Gulliver

Excellent

Whew ... that was a psychedelic ride, Jay.
He's got demons and serpents coming at him from all directions. It must be some good stuff they've given him for the pain.
Great visualisation and dialogue. I think I read one of your posts of this story a while back, as the characters sound familiar. I will have to retrace my steps to get up to date.
Annette

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015

Thank you, Annette. The reason he's so afraid of the narcotic he'd been given was that the young man he loved like a son was given the same narcotic and they had to work around the clock to keep him from falling asleep, fearing he would go into a coma and not return.

reply by Annette Gulliver on 11-Jul-2015

Got it now, Jay.
Thanks for the update,
Annette

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Great job, Jay, with the conto uation of your story linr. Strong imagery from your descriptive detail and realistic dialogue always impresses me and keeps me wanting more. 8-)

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2015

Thank you, Karen. So glad to have you aboard. I hope I'm on firm footing for the remaining chapters till the end.

Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson

Excellent

Well written ending chapter (I believe) that I have just read. The artwork fits well with the story. Left me wondering what it was about Zarbs. Is there to be another book? Kudos a job well done.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015

Hey, The Mom. This is the final book of a trilogy. It stalled after chapter 21 and I was unable to do anything on it for 4 months. Because of the hiatus, I re-posted the last chapter which included a summary of the previous 20 chapters to bring the faithful followers back up to speed. That re-post is in my portfolio. Here is the link for it, if you want to review the past chapters: http://classic.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=750469

Thanks for your interest. The next chapter will post around Wednesday.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Sorry about the late review -
just so far behind...

You're so clever the way you describe the out of the body experience - Quite fascinating and intriguing - no wonder he didn't want to close his eyes.

Had I a six it would be yours, Jay.

Margaret

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2015

Don't worry about the six, Margaret. Your words are always more important to me. Thanks.