Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Marv/Bill. This is an interesting segment of your story and the frustrations Russ is feeling in trying to have someone look at his screenplay. Clearly expressed, easy to read and understand. Next to last paragraph: That would have show (shown) them. Marilyn

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015

Thanks for reviewing this piece. Thanks for pointing out the typo.
I changed the tense of this paragraph but I missed this one.
Thanks for the rating.
Marv

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

A light, jaunty, comedic tone. Well- written, entertaining.

There was the subtle sound of a phone slamming against another object. I do hope the other object wasn't Flo. [Good line, humorous.]

I know exactly what I'd do. I'd stare at my phone, with my angriest look and sternly say,[Keeping this in the past tense it should read: "I KNEW what I'd HAVE DONE. I'd HAVE STARED at my phone, with my angriest look, and SAID: "You know what I'm thinking," and HUNG up, without even waiting for an apology. That WOULD HAVE SHOWN them."]

I had fun reading this.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for coming to my aid again. Soon, I hope to catch these mistakes myself. Until then, I really appreciate your help.
Thanks for the compliments and the rating.
Marv

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Finding a Producer can be just like finding that Preakness winner. Almost impossible. Story well written and illustrates this point nicely.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

Thanks for reviewing. I appreciate the rating very much.
Russ sold his first screenplay the day before the Kentucky Derby. Although he titled the film, ?Shelfish?, he referred to it as his ?Derby.? His current screenplay is titled, ?The Magic Title.? He refers to it as his Preakness.
Thanks for the compliments.
Nice ride! What year is it?
Marv