Reviews from

Reflections Of Color

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Wandering Minstrel"
A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics

30 total reviews 
Comment from inside echo
Excellent
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Very well done. It sure made me smile, I loved the last line... Seems so "typical" of travelling bands. Or so we are to believe. Got me thinking about an old song. It is well written, and flows well. It has a good story. It pulls the reader in, and brings a smile. Great choice of art too. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
echo

 Comment Written 27-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
reply by inside echo on 27-May-2015
    You are welcome.
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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You tell a great story in this one. I liked the found to loss on to melancholy ride aspect of the narrative and the music gig that had to go on at the expense of a half hoped romance gives the prompt its impact. Nice poem. Good luck.

 Comment Written 27-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from dragonpoet
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This must be the story of a lot of musicians. They lose their loves because their music is more important. It seems though that she wasn't the girl of his dreams because he has another one at the next stop. If they were meant to be together she would find a way to let him follow his dream and he would be monogomous.

I don't see any mistakes or changes that need to be made. It is a different rhyme scheme abacc, but the poem flows well. I like how the relationship falls apart as the number of songs get larger. Shows that the problem is getting to hard to handle.


Good luck

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 27-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
reply by dragonpoet on 27-May-2015
    No problem. It is what we are here for.

    dragonpoet
Comment from danpald
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Each concert has the girl to find
That captures the eyes then the mind
Never the heart for it is taken
With the music that continues playing

 Comment Written 27-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    I actually wrote this one night after a performance. Tried to capture some of what road life is really like for many Musicians, and for the sheer fun of it. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Ronni
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True to the heart of a roving Romeo indeed. Sweet and sad little tale,
but your songs and heart no bounty will claim. On to another pretty
little face and those lovelorn blues you sing so well.
Clever lyrics and enjoyable tale. Keep on singing and writing.

 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
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Really great artwork for these words
I guess when we see someone we like
and pine for this person but is not
meant to be as one day the right person
will arrive one day.

Honeytree

 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
reply by honeytree on 27-May-2015
    Liked what you wrote

    Honeytree
Comment from rjuselius
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this is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! the travels of a man of music aren't really high in moral so to speak. it's such a profound cliche that he would have a girl in every port. mice one my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments.
Comment from angel123
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading your well written poem. It flows and rhymes well and I like your artwork choice. Your poem held my attention from beginning to end.

Angel123

 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-I love the photo. It is gorgeous.
-Poem is written very well, tells a good story, and incorporates the required line.
-I also like the flow of ideas, rhyme, various songs and band members.
-Stanza three is particularly good, as she seems to be pointing out that yes, he has his music, but he doesn't have her.
-I also like the stanza about song seven, as he still seems to be affected by her leaving.
-The emotion in the next to the last stanza is shown well.
-I get the feeling from the last stanza that since he made the deal for this gig, he lost her, but he is going to forget about it and move on.
-I think I am right about his having thought something of this woman; she was part of his past, and not just a random person at that concert?
-A couple of small things to consider:
*she walked right out of the door. (out the door)
*heading out of the town (out of town)


 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 27-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support.
reply by Pam (respa) on 27-May-2015
    You are welcome.
reply by Pam (respa) on 27-May-2015
    You are welcome.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Nicely done, "B". It reminds me of themes from many a soulful song about life on the road. For anyone who's ever played in a band and done extensive traveling because of it, they will certainly appreciate and fully comprehend the hefty price one pays when doing so. It ain't as easy as many like to think, living out of suitcases, eating food down at the local greasy spoon or, worse yet, grabbing a quick bite at the bar.

Your rhyming does indeed read more like song lyrics than outright poetry. But that's completely understandable, given the source, LOL.

Great work here yet again, my friend. I wish you all the best of luck in the contest.

~Dean ;}

 Comment Written 26-May-2015


reply by the author on 26-May-2015
    Thanks to your helpful little suggestion I won the Memorial Day contest my friend. My first outright win of a contest on this site. For that I sincerely thank you! I actually wrote this one night after a show on the road. Just trying to capture a particular side of being a guitarslinger and life on the road. As always thanks for your comments and support. Appreciated more than you may realize.
reply by Dean Kuch on 26-May-2015
    I knew you'd win, I even voted for you. I hope it helped you out.
    I think you'll have many more contest wins under your wide leather belt (heh-heh), if you decide to hang tough and stick with it. It's been a hard road to hoe for me here, writing of death, horrific happenings and the like as I often do. I feel very fortunate to do as well as I do.

    Take care buddy. And good luck with this!

    ~Dean ;}
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
    But you are so talented and good at what you do. Many writers reference your constant helping them out to me, and I to them.

    Well then, I can consider you as the one vote I won by.

    Thanks again.

    Catch up to you later.
reply by Dean Kuch on 26-May-2015
    Shore 'nuff. :)