Caduceus
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Courtroom-Day One. Part Three"cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death
6 total reviews
Comment from BJ_Barnes
Excellent writing! It kept me interested from start to end. The story is very easy to follow and well written. I cannot wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Excellent writing! It kept me interested from start to end. The story is very easy to follow and well written. I cannot wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Thanks again BJ-B Look warded to more reviews.----Doug
Comment from kriver
Hi Doug,
This is an extremely detailed write.
It was a very interesting
but very long read.
I went back and read the other two sections regarding the trial.
The dialogue was good, believable and very detailed to some extent too detailed.
Sometimes that can make it tedious and laborious to read. It doesn't take away all the interest. It just makes it harder to read.
The way to solve that is to rewrite rewrite rewrite and edit everything down to say what you want in as much detail as you can but in as few words as possible without loosing the importance and meaning. I would say this is one of the major challenges of good writing. Cut everything down to the barest of bones be ruthless in your editing. The process of rewriting and editing many times has the effect of polishing the write. In writing poetry over that last year I discovered that reading the write out loud helps to identify the rough awkward spots that interrupt the flow and smoothness of the poem those are the places to work on.
You'll meet a lo of really nice people on this site. I am sorry you went through a hard divorce. However,I think writing is a good expressive way to let those emotions out in a positive way. You need to get you writes on the reviewers 1st page.
You do that by doing lots and lots and lots of reviews. To earn fan story funny money. It takes about $100 in funny money to get to the 1st page that means you have to review about 100 writes that pay a$1.00 or more. You want to review writes that offer the money and the points.The points add up to place you on the reviewer ranks. The money helps you to be able to buy certificates to get your write on the 1st page the more money and points that you offer the higher your write will be on the reviewer page. The higher it is the more review you get. The review effect your ranking as a writer. It is better to stay at the five star level when you review other wise it hurts the writers rank tell them what they did write and wrong if they do an outstanding job give them a six. You only get six 6's per week if you don't give them all out then they are gone. If you do give a low star rate then tell the writer exactly what was wrong, why, and how to fix it. Then offer to up grade you rating if the notify you when they have made the corrections. Above all be honest in your evaluations. But find the good things in the write too and be sure to point those out too. In this write you had one spag= Spelling Punctuation and Grammar error.
In the paragraph " This repetitive line..
his late (arrivalthat) should be ( arrival that) re read the other two court write too for this kind of mistake.
Over all I think your off to a fine start on a novel. Tread lightly with the four letter words Anyone can use those word to express feelings but it take real talent to express the same feelings with just as much emotion without using those words. There in lies another writing challenge. I hope this helps you Doc. if you need some help let me know just send me a message I know it is hard at first to get started. I'll help you in any way I can. awdpearl (Brook) is a good person to ask questions of She really knows poetry and writing well. Let me know if you need help and I will try to assist you just ask me. If I don't know I will tell you that too.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Hi Doug,
This is an extremely detailed write.
It was a very interesting
but very long read.
I went back and read the other two sections regarding the trial.
The dialogue was good, believable and very detailed to some extent too detailed.
Sometimes that can make it tedious and laborious to read. It doesn't take away all the interest. It just makes it harder to read.
The way to solve that is to rewrite rewrite rewrite and edit everything down to say what you want in as much detail as you can but in as few words as possible without loosing the importance and meaning. I would say this is one of the major challenges of good writing. Cut everything down to the barest of bones be ruthless in your editing. The process of rewriting and editing many times has the effect of polishing the write. In writing poetry over that last year I discovered that reading the write out loud helps to identify the rough awkward spots that interrupt the flow and smoothness of the poem those are the places to work on.
You'll meet a lo of really nice people on this site. I am sorry you went through a hard divorce. However,I think writing is a good expressive way to let those emotions out in a positive way. You need to get you writes on the reviewers 1st page.
You do that by doing lots and lots and lots of reviews. To earn fan story funny money. It takes about $100 in funny money to get to the 1st page that means you have to review about 100 writes that pay a$1.00 or more. You want to review writes that offer the money and the points.The points add up to place you on the reviewer ranks. The money helps you to be able to buy certificates to get your write on the 1st page the more money and points that you offer the higher your write will be on the reviewer page. The higher it is the more review you get. The review effect your ranking as a writer. It is better to stay at the five star level when you review other wise it hurts the writers rank tell them what they did write and wrong if they do an outstanding job give them a six. You only get six 6's per week if you don't give them all out then they are gone. If you do give a low star rate then tell the writer exactly what was wrong, why, and how to fix it. Then offer to up grade you rating if the notify you when they have made the corrections. Above all be honest in your evaluations. But find the good things in the write too and be sure to point those out too. In this write you had one spag= Spelling Punctuation and Grammar error.
In the paragraph " This repetitive line..
his late (arrivalthat) should be ( arrival that) re read the other two court write too for this kind of mistake.
Over all I think your off to a fine start on a novel. Tread lightly with the four letter words Anyone can use those word to express feelings but it take real talent to express the same feelings with just as much emotion without using those words. There in lies another writing challenge. I hope this helps you Doc. if you need some help let me know just send me a message I know it is hard at first to get started. I'll help you in any way I can. awdpearl (Brook) is a good person to ask questions of She really knows poetry and writing well. Let me know if you need help and I will try to assist you just ask me. If I don't know I will tell you that too.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Hi Kriver---Thank you for your words of wisdom. I mean that. Very much appreciated. What you've said is absolutely correct. What you don't know is that I've been on FS for almost ten years. The chapters you've read are first drafts--I agree that their too long. This chapter, and previous, were written in a hurried manner. I wrote way too much---think they're each about 7000 words! Extensive editing is in order. The first 30 or so chapters of novel have been edited at least twice. I've noticed that the later chapters I've written tend to get very long. Once again, thanks for your help. Fanstory made me publish this on their Treasure Chest site because most of book was listed years ago.---Thanks again--Please keep reading. Doug
Comment from royowen
I have read one of your previous writing on the courtroom scene on Gallagher's questioning of Dr. Goetsch, very exhausting reading it, but at the same time interesting, informative, and an insight into a courtroom drama played out, presumably in an medical incompetence trial or coronial inquest! I must say I found it both readable and entertaining, as well informationally great, well done, blessings, Roy. Spag:- It doesn't make any (since) sense?
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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I have read one of your previous writing on the courtroom scene on Gallagher's questioning of Dr. Goetsch, very exhausting reading it, but at the same time interesting, informative, and an insight into a courtroom drama played out, presumably in an medical incompetence trial or coronial inquest! I must say I found it both readable and entertaining, as well informationally great, well done, blessings, Roy. Spag:- It doesn't make any (since) sense?
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2015
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Roy----Thanks again. I always appreciate your reviews. This chapter , and previous, were written in a hurried manner. I wrote way too much---think they're each about 7000 words! Extensive editing is in order. Thanks again.----Doug
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Well done Doug,
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I think this was excellent. The courtroom came alive. Gallagher's personality came through as did the difficulty he had in trying to make things go his way. I could see the courtroom, feel the emotion, a wonderfully well written chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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I think this was excellent. The courtroom came alive. Gallagher's personality came through as did the difficulty he had in trying to make things go his way. I could see the courtroom, feel the emotion, a wonderfully well written chapter.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Hi Michael------Thank you. your words are encoraging.---Thanks again--Doug
Comment from fafa
there are some things that deserve to be counted by a big storyteller I believe that it is be of one of these histories, congratulations and happy weekend
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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there are some things that deserve to be counted by a big storyteller I believe that it is be of one of these histories, congratulations and happy weekend
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Hi fafa----Really like your comments. Very encouraging. Thanks.----Doug
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Let's play Doctor. Story well written. Action flowed smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Descriptive language used held reader's interest throughout. Write on.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Let's play Doctor. Story well written. Action flowed smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Descriptive language used held reader's interest throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Thanks BMW---encouraging words.----Doug
