New Wings
Starting life anew...19 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I liked this free verse poem for its unique style and for its excellent word choice. Loved the art work that is very stunning. Good contest entry.
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I liked this free verse poem for its unique style and for its excellent word choice. Loved the art work that is very stunning. Good contest entry.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
Comment from c_lucas
The caterpillar changing into a butterfly is a wonderful miracle of nature. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
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The caterpillar changing into a butterfly is a wonderful miracle of nature. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
Comment from Charlene0513
A strong, empathic way of expressing the butterfly's
plight of reaching a new essence of freedom and
finding oneself.
Enjambments
Charlene
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A strong, empathic way of expressing the butterfly's
plight of reaching a new essence of freedom and
finding oneself.
Enjambments
Charlene
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
Comment from Mark Valentine
I loved the unique form as well as the metaphor you used. "Her heart knew that her life held something rare" - great line. This one got my vote, although my experience with non-blind contests is that the same people always win, and I'm not sure it's due to the quality of the writing. Anyway- good liuck in the contest.
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I loved the unique form as well as the metaphor you used. "Her heart knew that her life held something rare" - great line. This one got my vote, although my experience with non-blind contests is that the same people always win, and I'm not sure it's due to the quality of the writing. Anyway- good liuck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Loanna. That is a very beautifully written and presented piece and full of fantastic vivid descriptiveness. It is a wonderful contest entry and I wish you luck. Cheers Fez
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G'day Loanna. That is a very beautifully written and presented piece and full of fantastic vivid descriptiveness. It is a wonderful contest entry and I wish you luck. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
Comment from fimarie78
This was very nicely done, with the combination of free verse and rhyme. It works so well that you can read either independently and it still makes sense. I liked your idea that she chose to make the change. Also, 'new life calls', like she realised it was her destiny. best wishes for the contest Fiona
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This was very nicely done, with the combination of free verse and rhyme. It works so well that you can read either independently and it still makes sense. I liked your idea that she chose to make the change. Also, 'new life calls', like she realised it was her destiny. best wishes for the contest Fiona
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
Comment from choice
This poem is full of imagery and is very powerful. You used words to create very effective pictures in the readers mind, it is beautiful.
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This poem is full of imagery and is very powerful. You used words to create very effective pictures in the readers mind, it is beautiful.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi LoannaLois, I really like this personification of the butterfly and its flight. It also relates to humans growing up from what I can gather which makes it a clever metaphor. I am a fan of free verse with the odd rhyme thrown in too. Best of luck in the contest, Hatter :)
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Hi LoannaLois, I really like this personification of the butterfly and its flight. It also relates to humans growing up from what I can gather which makes it a clever metaphor. I am a fan of free verse with the odd rhyme thrown in too. Best of luck in the contest, Hatter :)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
Comment from krys123
LoannaLois;
+ Near notable alliteration's:/"comfort of this chrysalis"/
+ Imagery metaphorically written and very expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive throughout the writing: "Her first steps taken to be free; her shelter peels away. The armor poles apart and soon it falls." Good example of the metaphor here is that of a chrysalis being torn apart as the butterfly emerges in here it's a person's soul and inner being coming into form and developing the courage and faith become whole again.
+ Good example of enjambment what is the running on of a thought, idea and concept from one verse, couplet and lying to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Poetic assessment and summary: reason I enjoyed this poem was basically because of the metaphor used in the well development of using this metaphor which is very smooth with a great formulation and determination that didn't take away from the meeting of the poem and the concept.
+ Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
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LoannaLois;
+ Near notable alliteration's:/"comfort of this chrysalis"/
+ Imagery metaphorically written and very expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive throughout the writing: "Her first steps taken to be free; her shelter peels away. The armor poles apart and soon it falls." Good example of the metaphor here is that of a chrysalis being torn apart as the butterfly emerges in here it's a person's soul and inner being coming into form and developing the courage and faith become whole again.
+ Good example of enjambment what is the running on of a thought, idea and concept from one verse, couplet and lying to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Poetic assessment and summary: reason I enjoyed this poem was basically because of the metaphor used in the well development of using this metaphor which is very smooth with a great formulation and determination that didn't take away from the meeting of the poem and the concept.
+ Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
How nice to be a butterfly and to break free of the cacoon that holds us where we are. I think that it is important to get to that growth to allow you to be able to break away, which is what your poem brings up so well.
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How nice to be a butterfly and to break free of the cacoon that holds us where we are. I think that it is important to get to that growth to allow you to be able to break away, which is what your poem brings up so well.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
