Aluminum Splinters
Six sentence story44 total reviews
Comment from Connie C
What a nice little story, John, in only six sentences. I like how Scooter, the youngest player got a hit into right field. You really do bring the game to life, and I also like how these players developed hope and inspiration for future games. One of my fondest memories of childhood was going to my brother's little league games. In those days, they didn't have softball or baseball teams for girls, or I would have been out there playing. Thanks for the memory, my friend.
Connie
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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What a nice little story, John, in only six sentences. I like how Scooter, the youngest player got a hit into right field. You really do bring the game to life, and I also like how these players developed hope and inspiration for future games. One of my fondest memories of childhood was going to my brother's little league games. In those days, they didn't have softball or baseball teams for girls, or I would have been out there playing. Thanks for the memory, my friend.
Connie
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Honestly, the best coaching years I had with my kids (and I was involved and coached for 100's of years) was when I coached girls softball. Three years when my daughter was in Middle School. Greatest times .
Thank you Connie.
John
Comment from Gloria ....
Very smartly written, John. The story is told without any extra words and what I liked most of all is that even when the chips are down, hope and inspiration grew up.
Go TEAM!
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Very smartly written, John. The story is told without any extra words and what I liked most of all is that even when the chips are down, hope and inspiration grew up.
Go TEAM!
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Gloria... Holy Canolli, a sixer... Thank you. Bit more importantly having you review my work and an encouraging supporter does trump a six. Thank you. John
Comment from adewpearl
the opponents' momentum - add apostrophe for possessive
the team's youngest player - add apostrophe
strong choice of action verbs add dramatic life to the scene
inspiration grew, giving them
you bring this game to life and with great word economy :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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the opponents' momentum - add apostrophe for possessive
the team's youngest player - add apostrophe
strong choice of action verbs add dramatic life to the scene
inspiration grew, giving them
you bring this game to life and with great word economy :-) Brooke
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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That you, Brooke. I made those corrections.
Also, your words of encouragement are most welcome. John
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely marvelous and such a delight to read. I am a baseball fan and fortunately, Mazatlan is a BIG baseball town. Great work with just 6 sentences. I enjoyed this one very much.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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This is absolutely marvelous and such a delight to read. I am a baseball fan and fortunately, Mazatlan is a BIG baseball town. Great work with just 6 sentences. I enjoyed this one very much.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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I'm sure baseball is big down there. Thank you for reading and sharing...
John
Comment from RGstar
Always good to hear about triumphs in different forms , even if it isn't a winning one. One a nice gesture in bringing this to us, JM
Nice.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Always good to hear about triumphs in different forms , even if it isn't a winning one. One a nice gesture in bringing this to us, JM
Nice.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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RG, thank you for an encouraging review. In glad you approve. John
Comment from Selina Stambi
Not having grown up in North America, I have to confess I'm kind of illiterate where baseball is concerned.
You did a great job, though, telling this story in six sentences. The excitement just flew off the lines.
Good job, John!
Sonali
thwarted the opponents(') momentum
team(')s youngest player(,)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Not having grown up in North America, I have to confess I'm kind of illiterate where baseball is concerned.
You did a great job, though, telling this story in six sentences. The excitement just flew off the lines.
Good job, John!
Sonali
thwarted the opponents(') momentum
team(')s youngest player(,)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Sonali, it's okay. You understood the impact of lessor valued players riding to the occasion when given an opportunity.
Thanks for the corrections, I've posted them. John
Comment from Eric1
This is what any sport for youngsters is all about John, getting out there and enjoying themselves my friend, not into baseball being a boring brit but that doesn't detract from your brilliant writing my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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This is what any sport for youngsters is all about John, getting out there and enjoying themselves my friend, not into baseball being a boring brit but that doesn't detract from your brilliant writing my friend.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Eric, thank you for reading and reviewing this short piece. You got the important part to it.
Thanks again, John
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It was MY pleasure John
Comment from boxergirl
Great job, John, telling this baseball story in six sentences. I love the references to the bench getting in their allotted time and sending the game into extra innings. That's what youth league should be about. Having fun! I don't know if I''m as excited about baseball being here as you are but I am sure fired up if it brings warmer weather. lol
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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Great job, John, telling this baseball story in six sentences. I love the references to the bench getting in their allotted time and sending the game into extra innings. That's what youth league should be about. Having fun! I don't know if I''m as excited about baseball being here as you are but I am sure fired up if it brings warmer weather. lol
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
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BG... Thanks a bunch for being available to read and review this short piece.
I appreciate your time. John
Comment from jpduck
Hey, those of us from the UK, and perhaps some others, are feeling a little lost here. Bit I suspect my bench warmer would feel a tad uncomfortable with aluminium splinters in it. That Geist fellow, hugging his chalk, deserves to be on the foul line, although hoping he had died might be going a little far.
Then there was Rock Newman being single minded and Billy C walking to see Scooter executed. Well, I'll be blooped if that didn't give everyone reason to be positive.
I feel confused and exhausted after that. I think I'll take a rest.
Adrian
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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Hey, those of us from the UK, and perhaps some others, are feeling a little lost here. Bit I suspect my bench warmer would feel a tad uncomfortable with aluminium splinters in it. That Geist fellow, hugging his chalk, deserves to be on the foul line, although hoping he had died might be going a little far.
Then there was Rock Newman being single minded and Billy C walking to see Scooter executed. Well, I'll be blooped if that didn't give everyone reason to be positive.
I feel confused and exhausted after that. I think I'll take a rest.
Adrian
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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Thanks for the review, I guess.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I am not into baseball, I think it is more an American game, than UK. But, I understand all the excitement, having watched a lot of games on the T.V. Your six sentences were thrilling, John, I really enjoyed it! :) Sandra. xsx
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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I am not into baseball, I think it is more an American game, than UK. But, I understand all the excitement, having watched a lot of games on the T.V. Your six sentences were thrilling, John, I really enjoyed it! :) Sandra. xsx
Comment Written 05-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
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Yes, it is called America's pastime, a game I love. Thank you for reading. I plan on doing a lot more baseball over the next 9 months... John
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I shall brush up on my knowledge then! :) xx
