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Reflections Of Color

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Daddy When You Coming Home"
A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics

36 total reviews 
Comment from Fridayauthor
Excellent
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Very nice poem that is truly touching. It certainly describes an oft repeated situation with a usually profound results.

I found the (SON): etc. Somewhat distracting. Might it have been handled more conversationally?

"Daddy, is there something that I somehow didn't do?"
"Son, it broke my heart to hear these words I heard from you.

Just a thought...

Thank you.


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
    This was originally written as Country music song lyrics as a Duet. That was why I noted it the way I did. Appreciate your comments.
Comment from Donovan
Excellent
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Far too often and way too familiar. And of course it is always the man that is the jerk...which is true. Why is it? What is the solution? What is the answer?

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
    Mothers abandon their children as well now. Let's give equal billing where it is due. Appreciate your comments.
reply by Donovan on 20-Apr-2015
    I know.....Selfishness seems to be the basis of most sin and abandonment of loved one to whom we commit has to be sinful.
Comment from petalangela
Good
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So sad so true and it happens with mummies too
How many children in this world blame themselves for adults indiscretions

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments.
Comment from kiwijenny
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This is the saddest thing...little boys NEED their fathers,,,
And what father's do not realize is how much they NEEED their sons
Well penned conversation and repeat refrain
God bless

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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Oh I can relate like many children do.
For the longest I thought my dad died in the war.
That's why there was no pictures
Thank you for sharing. Cookie

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them very much. Yes it is quite a problem.
reply by misscookie on 19-Apr-2015
    until next time.
    Cookie
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent
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It is so sad that some families have to face these situations and then the children suffers because of it. This is an excellent poem and the rhyming is also well done.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from Dom G Robles
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this poem touching, penetrating, and cruel, too. Cruel on the part of the son who knows nothing where he is into. All he knows is his love for his dad and the effects that it bring to his mom...crying at night. The poem has beauty in style. One that will make a reader smile and cry. The tone, rhyme, rhythm, the images are tops. I extend my sincerest congratulations.Dom

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments and 6-Star rating. Appreciate them.
Comment from MelB
Excellent
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Unfortunately, this is a reality for so many kids, having a dad that has abandoned them for a new life with a new woman. Those children grow up and have a huge hole in their heart and doubt they are loved. My husband had a father like this. He has rejection and abandonment issues and is going through counseling to heal.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them. Yes, this action too often has terrible effects on the children involved.
Comment from Megalips
Excellent
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This almost reads like a song...the repetition of the stanzas...and it works well. Children speak in repetition...and this is painful repetition to hear, particularly in the face of guilt. You could have left this open, meaning that you didn't have to specify what had taken Daddy away...but I think it's even stronger and more meaningful that you went into that detail. It's what really makes the poem.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015
    Thanks for your comments. This began life 5 years ago intending to be song lyrics. I felt it also works very well as a poem and posted it that way.
Comment from cmowen87
Excellent
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I loved your poem. I believe my daughter would have this same conversation with her father if and when he called. I believe this is happening much to often in today's society. Great poem

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2015
    Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.