Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

It was nice you could at least see that your sister appeared happy. Great job expressing your candid feelings about the situation with your mother. I think a lot of people can relate. Life seems to be forever rocky, doesn't it? Just when you get one thing figured out someone pulls another string and unravels something else.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

A good way to put it. I'm writing this to make sense of it all. But then, that's the job of fiction. sigh...

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

Okay once I read what the picture was I was grossed out but I get it. I don't want to bathe my parents or change their diapers, etc. I told them I'd get them a nice place to go to when they get to that point but if they looked at me just right I probably would. They would probably laugh at my faces and I'm sure in the end it'd be humorous and good for a laugh. I need patience. I lack that and you really need that when you have older people. I'm okay with small children but I haven't been around enough older people who need help to have that patience. I had to learn to have the patience with children and I think it'd be the same way with the older ones. You'll do the right thing no matter what happens.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015

The cord is gross looking, I agree. I wouldn't want my children taking care of me, even if they wanted. I'd much prefer a nurse I could yell at without feeling guilty. :-)

reply by ExperiencingLiphe on 14-Feb-2015

Oh you'd be that old person. LOL

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Your idea of an assisted living place for your mother is a good one. You had so much going in your life at that time, I am sorry you have guilty feelings. Excellent writing that holds the reader's interest and many can relate to your story.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015

Thanks, mermaids. I know I'd prefer assisted living to having to live with either son or daughter. I could be mean to strangers but not to family. LOL

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

Great chapter, Shari. I liked how you described the reasons why you didn't want to be the caregiver when your mom would be less able to care for herself. It's honest. One typo...
Five and a half year(s) had gone by.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015

Got it, Karyn. Thanks so much. As we get older, we are wiser and looking for the truth.

Comment from Cat of Letters

Excellent

Hi,

I especially enjoyed this episode in your ongoing saga.

The opening, 'I wonder if a man who lived with his mother for forty years is good marriage material' is most amusing.

You draw the dilemma in a touching way. Few words, but well put and they express the heart wrenching weight of the issue. Well chosen pic too.

Best wishes,
Alison

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015

Thanks, Alison, for the wonderful review. Digging back so far is bringing back memories better forgotten as you'll see in the next chapter.

Comment from Rosalyne

Excellent

Hi, Shari.
You are a giver and have shown this throughout this memoir. Trying to juggle your work, your mom's needs and that of your family is not easy. As an outsider looking in, I see a person who gave up much to help her family! Relationships between mothers and daughters can be challenging, especially when similar in personality.
Take care, my friend!
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015

Thanks, Rosalyn, for such a complimentary review. Challenging is right.

Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

I like the way your common thread of relationships wind their way through the story. Barb reconciles only to have your own daughter virtually disengage herself from you in the same way Barb had done 4 years before.
Well done Shari,
I look forward to the next chapter.
:-) Carolyn

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015

Thanks, Carolyn. As I say, the realization of the proximity of events just occurred to me yesterday.

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

You really give us a clear picture of the relationships. Things look promising for Rex and Barbara, but she is older, and it's been 25 years since her divorce. Your mother was one who shows the importance of family because she didn't hold a grudge because Barbara hadn't communicated with the family for so long. Good presentation of your thoughts about your mother's increasing need for personal care. Difficult decision. You really leave off at an interesting point about your daughter. judi

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015

Thanks, judi, for an insightful review. My mother and father were both wonderful about accepting people for who they are. Now to recall the devastating break with Nichole.

Comment from joann r romei

Excellent

I enjoyed this, the writing was quick but extremely effective, I would remove the cliche under the rug, maybe under the whatever your sis was upset about, good luck

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015

I thought about that too, joann. Good suggestion. I'll see what I can replace it with something unusual.

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Dear Shari, guilt is its own disease I think. This shares much between the lines. I especially liked that you were able to capture so much that goes "under the rug" - as if it never happened and the pain wasn't real. Yet it is always there waiting to sting like the splinter left too long, it festers. Great writing, always making me want to keep reading. - An excellent sign.
Thanks for sharing my friend.
Maureen

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015

Yes, it's forgiven, but not forgotten. When it's convenient we bring it out again and stir up old wounds. Thanks for your wonderful comments.