Reviews from

When Blood Collides

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Lull Before the Storm"
A family's love is tested.

30 total reviews 
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You must have an unending pool of patience. Living with an aging parent cannot be easy in the first place and then all the problems from the siblings are inflated because you also see what it does to your mother so up close and personally. Excellent narration.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015
    Thanks, W.j. As my mother put in four years later, two women can't live in the same household.
Comment from Rosalyne
Excellent
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Hi, Shari.
How funny, opening the fridge and staring inside. I think we've all done that, looking without interest in really fulfilling a hunger. I laughed at your mom's new indulgences, yum! LOL You ended the chapter is a great style, leaving the reader hungry for more.
Bye, my friend!
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
    If I open the fridge and stare, it's because I've forgotten what I came for. LOL
Comment from Shirley B
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Shari, talk about leaving us on a cliff hanger. Is she pregnant? gay? all these thoughts went through my head. I watch too much TV. I love the true story you are telling. I can't wait to read the next one. Shirley

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
    It's worse than you can imagine, Shirley. Thanks so much for the six.
    Shari
    xx
Comment from mshirachot
Excellent
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Oh goodness! My imagination is running wild. I hope you don;t keep me in suspense too long in finding out if my guess is right.

This line "Auntie Dee (or "Manatee"..." is so funny! Especially since you mentioned the Auntie seemed to be about the size of a small manatee!

Thanks for sharing. Keep them coming!
Blessings,
Marsha

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
    Thanks, Martha, for noting the name. Indeed, it had to do with her size. She was five feet and at least 250 pounds.
Comment from Patti R.
Excellent
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Hi Shari,
The cartoon sets the stage for a comedic write. And it is very funny. But it's too short! I get that you're leaving the reader on the edge of their seat for the dramatic effect - and I admit that I haven't read the previous parts (yet). But I think you could stitch a couple parts together for a more fulfilling piece. I was left feeling slightly "ripped off" to be left dangling.

Nonetheless, it is a good write and I will follow along. Your sense of humor is refreshing.

Patti

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
    Okay, you just made a decision for me. I'm going to add a bit more to part six. :-)
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
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My mother's 83. Can relate to this. Her character is being developed well. The refrigerator scene is a common thing, that often irrates other family members. My mother complains I never put back things where I found them. Nice dialogue. Reads smoothly. Les

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
    I didn't realize that scene was a common denominator. Truth is, they probably forgot what they wanted! I've had it happen to me. Thanks for reading and reviewing .Part six on its way.
Comment from michaelcahill
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hahaha! Poor Aunt Dee the Manatee!!!! I would laugh if I was Uncle Dee too. :) Great humor. I can imagine mom slipping through the window, what a visual. The end has us all handcuffed. Hmmm, she joined a cult? mikey

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
    Join a cult? Nah, she was too smart for that. If anything, she'd run one, but charismatic doesn't fit her. Thanks so much for the six and for getting the humor of Manatee. She was a size. To this day, I can't picture Mom climbing in through a window at her age!
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
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This is a great story, I love memoires and this is one that holds my interest. Good news that your mother had such good health. I am looking forward to the next installment, you have me hanging on edge.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
    Thanks, mermaids. Appreciate all your comments.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Excellent
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OK, Shari,

WHERE's the next chapter? You have me hanging on the edge of my seat wanting to know about the call. You built a lot of tension in this chapter, particularly at the end. There's just enough humor to keep it fun, and enough drama to keep me reading.

Well done,
Ray

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
    Hurrah! But you have to wait until Sunday. I'm working on it now plus a contest entry.
Comment from Cat of Letters
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm really glad to have stumbled about this series. You are a page turner!

I like the detail of obese Auntie Dee - or Manatee. Poor woman!

I hope you can find a publisher for this series. It really deserves to be run as a weekly column in a good newspaper.

Technically flawless.

Best Wishes from Alison, Purrs from Zahir

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
    You're the first one to remark on the humor of Manatee. Thanks for that. Of course, we never said it to her face, but she looked to weigh 300 pounds. LOL Thanks, Allison for the exceptional review. Hard to get at the end of the week. :-)