Striking Up a Conversation
A contest entry29 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
This is good in that it tells a story of what a good parent does to help his kid succeed. I liked the use of dialogue throughout the story. It made it seem real.
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This is good in that it tells a story of what a good parent does to help his kid succeed. I liked the use of dialogue throughout the story. It made it seem real.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
Comment from Ric Myworld
I coached baseball, basketball, and football for forty-two years and your story touches a soft spot for me. Confidence! Like the old worn-out saying, "Whether you think you can or can't, you are right." Thanks for a fun and entertaining story. :-)
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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I coached baseball, basketball, and football for forty-two years and your story touches a soft spot for me. Confidence! Like the old worn-out saying, "Whether you think you can or can't, you are right." Thanks for a fun and entertaining story. :-)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much for the great review and sharing your experiences. Always appreciated, John
Comment from abbasjoy
Great conversation between father and son, with the father finally succeeding in being able to lift his son's spirits, after he struck out.
The conversation is animated, and Zach's emotions are well portrayed.
The story holds the reader's attention from start to finish, and has you wondering if the dad will be able to cheer up Zach.
Well written story.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Great conversation between father and son, with the father finally succeeding in being able to lift his son's spirits, after he struck out.
The conversation is animated, and Zach's emotions are well portrayed.
The story holds the reader's attention from start to finish, and has you wondering if the dad will be able to cheer up Zach.
Well written story.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Thank you, Abbasjoy.
Comment from Muffins
The dialogue is peppered full of structural advise that does not talk down to Zach. His father successful moves Zach's disappointment into a logical equation by using one of Zach's heroes. Kids can relate to their idols more than parents and friends. The back and forth is humorous, likable with a tight bond between them. Wonderful story.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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The dialogue is peppered full of structural advise that does not talk down to Zach. His father successful moves Zach's disappointment into a logical equation by using one of Zach's heroes. Kids can relate to their idols more than parents and friends. The back and forth is humorous, likable with a tight bond between them. Wonderful story.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Muffins, thank you very much for the review. Always appreciated
John
Comment from flylikeaneagle
This is a good take on the contest sentence with the heat for failing. I agree that our job as parents is to turn this around and help, encourage, lift up our kids. The seeds of hope and try again and focus are planted for the harvest of their future. People's hearts are important to succeed in life. We labor for the team but it is a team of people and fun is a goal too. Did you buy your son an ice cream treat?
One time my daughter was playing softball on a hot summer day. She almost fainted, didn't have food in her stomach but candy. I grabbed an ice tea and made her drink it in the shade and then poured water on her head. Annie perked up instantly. Only a mother would know what to do. Her team won the tournament that day. Every player is important. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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This is a good take on the contest sentence with the heat for failing. I agree that our job as parents is to turn this around and help, encourage, lift up our kids. The seeds of hope and try again and focus are planted for the harvest of their future. People's hearts are important to succeed in life. We labor for the team but it is a team of people and fun is a goal too. Did you buy your son an ice cream treat?
One time my daughter was playing softball on a hot summer day. She almost fainted, didn't have food in her stomach but candy. I grabbed an ice tea and made her drink it in the shade and then poured water on her head. Annie perked up instantly. Only a mother would know what to do. Her team won the tournament that day. Every player is important. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
Comment from Eric1
I found this to be a wonderful entry for this particular competition, I don't know anything about the game of Baseball but I do know that the writing was good and the story kept my interest, good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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I found this to be a wonderful entry for this particular competition, I don't know anything about the game of Baseball but I do know that the writing was good and the story kept my interest, good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
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No problem John, it was my pleasure my friend.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this was not only highly believable characters, wonderful dialogue and a truly inspiring sports story, I learned something - three outta ten IS a great career, and I never thought what that really means.
One very small spelling error - "It doesn't get better (thAn) that..."
Highly entertaining - great pacing and a warm, dialogue-driven family story. Six-worthy, but I'm all out of them this week.
OUTSTANDING!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Wow, this was not only highly believable characters, wonderful dialogue and a truly inspiring sports story, I learned something - three outta ten IS a great career, and I never thought what that really means.
One very small spelling error - "It doesn't get better (thAn) that..."
Highly entertaining - great pacing and a warm, dialogue-driven family story. Six-worthy, but I'm all out of them this week.
OUTSTANDING!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
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You are welcome.
Comment from mountainwriter49
HI, John
This is an excellent story! Not only is it well written with superb dialogue, it conveys an important life story parents should be teaching their children. Wishing you the best in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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HI, John
This is an excellent story! Not only is it well written with superb dialogue, it conveys an important life story parents should be teaching their children. Wishing you the best in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 06-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with imagery and needs no suggestion of changes. I enjoyed reading your well written story. The imagery was goo and the picture enhanced the story. Thanks for sharing. Mary
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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A good write with imagery and needs no suggestion of changes. I enjoyed reading your well written story. The imagery was goo and the picture enhanced the story. Thanks for sharing. Mary
Comment Written 06-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
Comment from N.K. Wagner
A good, solid story with a message effectively conveyed. Unfortunately, I was thinking of Babe Ruth rather than Derek Jeter. No, I'm not that old, either. Thanks for updating my lagging knowledge. Good luck. :D Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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A good, solid story with a message effectively conveyed. Unfortunately, I was thinking of Babe Ruth rather than Derek Jeter. No, I'm not that old, either. Thanks for updating my lagging knowledge. Good luck. :D Nancy
Comment Written 06-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Sorry for the delay in responding. I haven't been on the sight very much in 2015. Thank you for reading and sharing. John