Faces of the City
A make believe essay.51 total reviews
Comment from JennaG
I enjoyed this so much! The goal at the top of my bucket list is to go to New York one day and I think your story made me want to go even more. You create such vivid imagery with your words! I especially liked the descriptions of the smells from the various restaurants and the sounds of the shoeshine artist, flipping his brush and snapping his rag. I enjoyed peering into the life of one New Yorker and all the things that go into his daily routine. As a teenager, I went to Chicago with my family and I remember feeling so energized by the hustle and bustle and excitement of a big city. I imagine I'd feel the same way visiting New York, although I agree that I probably wouldn't want to live there forever. This is really well written. It was a true pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing! :)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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I enjoyed this so much! The goal at the top of my bucket list is to go to New York one day and I think your story made me want to go even more. You create such vivid imagery with your words! I especially liked the descriptions of the smells from the various restaurants and the sounds of the shoeshine artist, flipping his brush and snapping his rag. I enjoyed peering into the life of one New Yorker and all the things that go into his daily routine. As a teenager, I went to Chicago with my family and I remember feeling so energized by the hustle and bustle and excitement of a big city. I imagine I'd feel the same way visiting New York, although I agree that I probably wouldn't want to live there forever. This is really well written. It was a true pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing! :)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, JennaG, for taking time to read my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Chicago is a great place too, but just imagine it magnified five times and stuck on a small island. New York is a wonderful place to visit, but a few days should be enough for anyone. Thanks again, Ric.
Comment from Cindy Warren
New York sounds like a nice place to visit, but I wouln't want to live there. It's easy to imagine that man's sad story repeated a million times over in such a busy place. I think you succeeded in taking the reader to New York.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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New York sounds like a nice place to visit, but I wouln't want to live there. It's easy to imagine that man's sad story repeated a million times over in such a busy place. I think you succeeded in taking the reader to New York.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thanks so much, Cindy, for taking time to read my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I am much like you, it is nice place to visit for a few days, and by then, I'm ready to get the heck out of that fast-paced city. :-)
Comment from emrpoems
You have caught the essence of life in New York. I have never lived but visited several times for months each time.
you created vivid imagery and brought the city to life with your words. Seems to be a good prologue for a book
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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You have caught the essence of life in New York. I have never lived but visited several times for months each time.
you created vivid imagery and brought the city to life with your words. Seems to be a good prologue for a book
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Like you, I never lived there, but spent weeks and months at a time there on business and such. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from S.M.E.Schultz
It certainly was filled with the smells and sounds of New York. I like the description of the spices and the chaos of the streets. I have been through New York twice, both times on a boat but could still smell the pleasant odours of the bakeries in the city harbour areas. Excellent descriptions!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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It certainly was filled with the smells and sounds of New York. I like the description of the spices and the chaos of the streets. I have been through New York twice, both times on a boat but could still smell the pleasant odours of the bakeries in the city harbour areas. Excellent descriptions!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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New York is a fascinating place and I love going there, but it isn't anywhere that I could live. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from c_lucas
I am curious about New York City and Times Square. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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I am curious about New York City and Times Square. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Charlie, for taking time to read my essay. It is always flattering whenever such a talented writer is willing to read and comment on my work. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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You're welcome, Ric. Charlie
Comment from hvysmker
People hustle and churn in a frenzy as they push and wade through the crowd, rushing to make up for lost time.
They race ahead full throttle, with little regard for others, obviously running late.
Slower commuters, often draw angry glares and outbursts of ugly names when in the way.
The rat-tat-tats of a jackhammer in the background, jars the sidewalk, shakes your teeth, and sprays white dust that burns your nose and tastes like chalk.
Fumes from vehicles stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, had not moved in ten minutes, painting the air with a bluish-purple haze and a choking stench of petroleum exhaust.
Restaurant lines extend outdoors, across carpeted cigarette-butt-covered welcome mats, and down sidewalks as people cluster under awnings that protect only a few from the drizzle.
Car horns, distant sirens, and the deafening sound of an ambulance about four blocks up the street trying desperately to clear a gridlocked intersection and reach the hospital in time to save someone's life.
Giant digital screens flash their images and messages from walls and storefronts. The biggest screen of all divides the lanes of Broadway, while people underneath walk to purchase discounted tickets to matinee performances of today's shows, at the outlets up the street.
A wannabe singing cowboy struts for attention and crosses the road from sidewalk to sidewalk while he strums his guitar, wearing only a pair of jockey shorts with a white cowboy hat and boots.
Street vendors are selling everything from hot dogs, to nuts, and every imaginable Asian food.
A bunch of old guys with nothing to do and nowhere to be, hang around the newspaper stands, fumigating the sidewalks with the smells of their cigars and sweet pipe tobaccos while they read or enjoy watching the shoeshine artists at work, swinging and flipping their brushes and snapping their rags.
Limousines make stops to recruit tourists with the lure of free tickets, to be members of the studio audiences for the taping of television shows.
Thugs scurry like roaches, and approach you at every corner, trying to sell knock-offs of designer products, wanting to grab your dollars before the painters and photographers can offer you a lasting memory.
The aroma from every restaurant captures your senses, so strong that you can almost taste the seasonings outside. If you are not hungry when you walk by, you will be. Welcome to the sights, sounds, and smells of Manhattan, New York!
*** Very good, Ric. Put me right on the sidewalk, and I've never been to NYC.
If you have never been to Manhattan, take my advice, everyone needs to visit at least once. I love the mass confusion and the urgency to be first in line, but with so much variety and too many choices, I can only deal with such pressures for a few days.
The people who live in this turmoil every day are real troopers. People of the city get a bad rap, accused of being unfriendly.
*** While living in Chicago, I once sat with a girl from NYC. It was on a commuter train. She told me how open and friendly people in Chicago were, compared to her home in NY. UH! I was shocked. Coming from a small town in Ohio, I thought Chicago was such an unfriendly place. I made up my mind to stay out of New York.
Good story, Ric. I enjoyed it.
The best place I've lived is probably Honolulu, the Waikiki area. People are friendly there. Even the police. One time I was drunk, caught near my home driving the wrong way on a one-way street. It was around two am. A female cop stopped me. When I explained, drunk as hell, she found I was only a couple of blocks from home and let me go, saying only to drive carefully. Would a NYC cop do that?
Charlie
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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People hustle and churn in a frenzy as they push and wade through the crowd, rushing to make up for lost time.
They race ahead full throttle, with little regard for others, obviously running late.
Slower commuters, often draw angry glares and outbursts of ugly names when in the way.
The rat-tat-tats of a jackhammer in the background, jars the sidewalk, shakes your teeth, and sprays white dust that burns your nose and tastes like chalk.
Fumes from vehicles stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, had not moved in ten minutes, painting the air with a bluish-purple haze and a choking stench of petroleum exhaust.
Restaurant lines extend outdoors, across carpeted cigarette-butt-covered welcome mats, and down sidewalks as people cluster under awnings that protect only a few from the drizzle.
Car horns, distant sirens, and the deafening sound of an ambulance about four blocks up the street trying desperately to clear a gridlocked intersection and reach the hospital in time to save someone's life.
Giant digital screens flash their images and messages from walls and storefronts. The biggest screen of all divides the lanes of Broadway, while people underneath walk to purchase discounted tickets to matinee performances of today's shows, at the outlets up the street.
A wannabe singing cowboy struts for attention and crosses the road from sidewalk to sidewalk while he strums his guitar, wearing only a pair of jockey shorts with a white cowboy hat and boots.
Street vendors are selling everything from hot dogs, to nuts, and every imaginable Asian food.
A bunch of old guys with nothing to do and nowhere to be, hang around the newspaper stands, fumigating the sidewalks with the smells of their cigars and sweet pipe tobaccos while they read or enjoy watching the shoeshine artists at work, swinging and flipping their brushes and snapping their rags.
Limousines make stops to recruit tourists with the lure of free tickets, to be members of the studio audiences for the taping of television shows.
Thugs scurry like roaches, and approach you at every corner, trying to sell knock-offs of designer products, wanting to grab your dollars before the painters and photographers can offer you a lasting memory.
The aroma from every restaurant captures your senses, so strong that you can almost taste the seasonings outside. If you are not hungry when you walk by, you will be. Welcome to the sights, sounds, and smells of Manhattan, New York!
*** Very good, Ric. Put me right on the sidewalk, and I've never been to NYC.
If you have never been to Manhattan, take my advice, everyone needs to visit at least once. I love the mass confusion and the urgency to be first in line, but with so much variety and too many choices, I can only deal with such pressures for a few days.
The people who live in this turmoil every day are real troopers. People of the city get a bad rap, accused of being unfriendly.
*** While living in Chicago, I once sat with a girl from NYC. It was on a commuter train. She told me how open and friendly people in Chicago were, compared to her home in NY. UH! I was shocked. Coming from a small town in Ohio, I thought Chicago was such an unfriendly place. I made up my mind to stay out of New York.
Good story, Ric. I enjoyed it.
The best place I've lived is probably Honolulu, the Waikiki area. People are friendly there. Even the police. One time I was drunk, caught near my home driving the wrong way on a one-way street. It was around two am. A female cop stopped me. When I explained, drunk as hell, she found I was only a couple of blocks from home and let me go, saying only to drive carefully. Would a NYC cop do that?
Charlie
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Wow, Charlie, I am honored and grateful for your generous six-star review and comments. I can't thank you enough for the pages and pages of spag-riddled crap that you have read and corrected to help me get this far along. If it wasn't for your patience and hanging in there with me, I would have quit long before now. Thank you, my friend.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Your essay/fiction is very well crafted, R. The series of images leading up the encounter are full of vivid imagery. Very well done!
Bev
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Your essay/fiction is very well crafted, R. The series of images leading up the encounter are full of vivid imagery. Very well done!
Bev
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Bev, for taking time to read and comment on my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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You're very welcome! My pleasure... Bev
Comment from Annette Gulliver
HI - I have just read your essay and loved it. I have never been to New York City, but your descriptive words brought the Big Apple to life before my eyes. The man you describe on the train is just one of the millions who live their lives in a robotic state, following a daily routine each day. And yes, it is unusual for a stranger to strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger on public transport anywhere in a big city. Sadly, but true. I believe that you could turn this scenario into a book, bringing all the characters to life with good dialogue, and a happy ending.
Regards
Annette
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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HI - I have just read your essay and loved it. I have never been to New York City, but your descriptive words brought the Big Apple to life before my eyes. The man you describe on the train is just one of the millions who live their lives in a robotic state, following a daily routine each day. And yes, it is unusual for a stranger to strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger on public transport anywhere in a big city. Sadly, but true. I believe that you could turn this scenario into a book, bringing all the characters to life with good dialogue, and a happy ending.
Regards
Annette
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Annette, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and wonderful six-star review have made my night, and probably my week.
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Hi again - You're welcome. I'm glad it made you feel good. Happy writing!!
Annette
Comment from dalejohn49
Having visited Manhattan myself, I'd say you capture the feel of the city very well. You also do a nice job of transitioning from physical descriptions to a personal story. It's the personal account that make the story come alive. My only suggestion, and maybe it's more of a personal preference, is to have your character speak some through direct dialogue. For me, characters fill to their full dimensions when they speak directly from the page. It's the difference between watching a movie and having someone tell you about a movie. But over all, you have a nice piece of writing here. Good work.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Having visited Manhattan myself, I'd say you capture the feel of the city very well. You also do a nice job of transitioning from physical descriptions to a personal story. It's the personal account that make the story come alive. My only suggestion, and maybe it's more of a personal preference, is to have your character speak some through direct dialogue. For me, characters fill to their full dimensions when they speak directly from the page. It's the difference between watching a movie and having someone tell you about a movie. But over all, you have a nice piece of writing here. Good work.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on my essay. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I also agree with you wholeheartedly about dialog making everything better, but in this case, I actually tried to make it readable and entertaining with using any. Thank You!
Comment from royowen
I live in Australia, but my daughter, husband a grandsons lived there until recently, so every year we visited them in Upper Manhattan for the 4 and 1/2 years they were there! I have seen and stood on that very spot the near naked man with the guitar is standing, however on the underground there weren't any conducters, but there would have been 37 years ago! I enjoyed your well written, readably composed essay and really enjoyed it, and relate to everything you say, our second home, I may never visit again, but the sights, sound and "aromas" I will never forget! Well done, blessings, Roy, no spags found.
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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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I live in Australia, but my daughter, husband a grandsons lived there until recently, so every year we visited them in Upper Manhattan for the 4 and 1/2 years they were there! I have seen and stood on that very spot the near naked man with the guitar is standing, however on the underground there weren't any conducters, but there would have been 37 years ago! I enjoyed your well written, readably composed essay and really enjoyed it, and relate to everything you say, our second home, I may never visit again, but the sights, sound and "aromas" I will never forget! Well done, blessings, Roy, no spags found.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Roy, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Also, thank you for bringing a paragraph that needs work to my attention. The ride in from Rockville Center, with the conductors, was on the train. I will try to clarify that with future readers. Thanks again, Ric.
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Most welcome Ric.
