THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "C O N F E S S I O N S"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
21 total reviews
Comment from Tina McKala
another good speech from doctrex. :) how do you come up with them? :) no suggestions only i'm sorry, in my previous review i messed up the message about the fallen soldiers. now, after being reminded of the math, i wonder what means. and i also think that maybe the trees may be alive later on? is that why they reminded them of people? hmmm.... :) reading on :)
actually one typo:
Did they believe the [prophesy]? // should be "prophecy" i think
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
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another good speech from doctrex. :) how do you come up with them? :) no suggestions only i'm sorry, in my previous review i messed up the message about the fallen soldiers. now, after being reminded of the math, i wonder what means. and i also think that maybe the trees may be alive later on? is that why they reminded them of people? hmmm.... :) reading on :)
actually one typo:
Did they believe the [prophesy]? // should be "prophecy" i think
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
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Absolutely, it should be prophecy. "-sy" is the verb form, for which I usually use prophesize. Dang git! I just looked that up and see that the proper spelling is prophesies. This is getting far to complicated. I'm gonna take up painting.
Comment from Dashjianta
Another good speech from Doctrex--although with a hiccup at the beginning which showed he doesn't always get the words right. Braims took his cue well, which is just as well, or his Doctrex's rallying call for brotherly support might have gone flat. (not that this was likely to happen-Braims is too honest a man for that)
Thoughts/Suggestions:
"are afraid we might not live up to that high standard we had (have?) set for ourselves
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
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Another good speech from Doctrex--although with a hiccup at the beginning which showed he doesn't always get the words right. Braims took his cue well, which is just as well, or his Doctrex's rallying call for brotherly support might have gone flat. (not that this was likely to happen-Braims is too honest a man for that)
Thoughts/Suggestions:
"are afraid we might not live up to that high standard we had (have?) set for ourselves
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
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Another fine review from you, Alex. Thanks.
Comment from Twilightspire
Woo hoo! Another poignant speech and rally against fear and mistrust. I love how you have Doctrex point these things out in a way that makes a person relax into spilling their guts.
I also love the theme you are building with this book. Trust, courage and resolve can destroy mistrust, fear and dishonesty, but you have to be strong enough to see it for what it is. Fantastic!
Keep up the good work, my friend. I'm dying to see how Doctrex manages to handle the last twenty-five miles.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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Woo hoo! Another poignant speech and rally against fear and mistrust. I love how you have Doctrex point these things out in a way that makes a person relax into spilling their guts.
I also love the theme you are building with this book. Trust, courage and resolve can destroy mistrust, fear and dishonesty, but you have to be strong enough to see it for what it is. Fantastic!
Keep up the good work, my friend. I'm dying to see how Doctrex manages to handle the last twenty-five miles.
-T.J.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2014
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First, thanks again (and again and again) for your beautiful peridot cross leading the troops of 5 staunch stars. I believe this is the start of your journey of reading today. Which means it is the last of my reviews for you until I cough up some more chapters -- damn hairballs. I hadn't thought of any formulating theme yet, T.J., but I love the one you postulate. Makes this a very moral book. By now you discovered how Doctrex did handle the last 25 miles and embarked on another journey.
Comment from amahra
Really nice chapter, Jay. I think the leader raising his hands first, showed a real vulnerability on his part. It will make the men relax knowing that they are not alone.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Really nice chapter, Jay. I think the leader raising his hands first, showed a real vulnerability on his part. It will make the men relax knowing that they are not alone.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Yes, Ama, that would be Doctrex's intention. He doesn't know what is coming around the bend, but he does know Rhuether's capabilities, which he respects, though he downgrades it to his men. Thanks for reading this. Are you reading them out of order. I thought you read chapter 10 pt 1 already.
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I think you posted them two at a time. So, I guess I did get them crossed. Sorry. I'm trying to get my fanstory reading done, finish my chapter for the next post, plus get my book, "The Glass Cat Eye" ready for interior design print. Whew! LOL!
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The interior design print? That doesn't sound like an Ebook! Tell me more, my dear.
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It's going to be both a paper back and ebook. I'll tell you more in email.
Comment from lindalcreel
This was another excellent chapter and I could feel the respect Doctrix has for his men. They need to know they are not alone and the gesture of him raising his hand before the others shows the soldiers he is dealing with the same demons. I think that will help them when they go into battle.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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This was another excellent chapter and I could feel the respect Doctrix has for his men. They need to know they are not alone and the gesture of him raising his hand before the others shows the soldiers he is dealing with the same demons. I think that will help them when they go into battle.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Thank you for seeing the intended value in this chapter, Linda. Hold that thought. We'll see after about four more chapters, just how much his speaking really helped.
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Looking forward to it.
Comment from Writingfundimension
I always enjoy the psychoanalytic aspects to your novel, Jay. Here, Doctrex is using his former profession to gather the courage of his men. And he's not afraid to look foolish or weak in order to accomplish that. Very well done, as always.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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I always enjoy the psychoanalytic aspects to your novel, Jay. Here, Doctrex is using his former profession to gather the courage of his men. And he's not afraid to look foolish or weak in order to accomplish that. Very well done, as always.
:) Bev
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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I'm so glad you pointed out his previous profession. You are the only one to mention that. I'm glad you're enjoying it, Bev.
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Sure am! :)
Comment from jaeladarling
I liked when Braims spoke up there near the end. But I don't like that it cut off there, because I have to wait another few hours before I can get to the next chapter! LOL His thing about the voice not having much imagination was, well, a good point. And I want to see where he's going with that.
So now I'm shaking a fist at you for making me wait! :p :)
Great chapter!
EDIT: Just realized you haven't posted the next one yet. Argh!!! LOL
Suggestions:
"so you men can get your tents up and climb in them and get some sleep." (I just can't remember the last time I put my nieces to bed and told them I'd give them time to not only make their beds and get some sleep, but also climb up into the beds. :p)
"raise their hands and if that" (Comma after "hands")
"happened I was going to tell those few to examine their hearts because" (Comma after "happened" or "hearts")
"But, now I'm happy to" (No comma. Also, you're starting a new sentence with the same dialogue, so you'll want to open the quote.)
"I laughed outright, and brought my arm down." (No comma)
"high standard we had set for ourselves." (question mark)
"Because, that's really more" (No comma)
"in better form and you" (Comma after "form")
That's brotherhood! (Open the quote)
"And, I sensed they loved me as well." (No comma)
"For the most part the eye" (Comma after "part")
"about the voices and it all" (Comma after "voices")
"he might even tell others and they will shun you." (Comma after "others")
"When I first heard the voice I knew" (Comma after "voice")
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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I liked when Braims spoke up there near the end. But I don't like that it cut off there, because I have to wait another few hours before I can get to the next chapter! LOL His thing about the voice not having much imagination was, well, a good point. And I want to see where he's going with that.
So now I'm shaking a fist at you for making me wait! :p :)
Great chapter!
EDIT: Just realized you haven't posted the next one yet. Argh!!! LOL
Suggestions:
"so you men can get your tents up and climb in them and get some sleep." (I just can't remember the last time I put my nieces to bed and told them I'd give them time to not only make their beds and get some sleep, but also climb up into the beds. :p)
"raise their hands and if that" (Comma after "hands")
"happened I was going to tell those few to examine their hearts because" (Comma after "happened" or "hearts")
"But, now I'm happy to" (No comma. Also, you're starting a new sentence with the same dialogue, so you'll want to open the quote.)
"I laughed outright, and brought my arm down." (No comma)
"high standard we had set for ourselves." (question mark)
"Because, that's really more" (No comma)
"in better form and you" (Comma after "form")
That's brotherhood! (Open the quote)
"And, I sensed they loved me as well." (No comma)
"For the most part the eye" (Comma after "part")
"about the voices and it all" (Comma after "voices")
"he might even tell others and they will shun you." (Comma after "others")
"When I first heard the voice I knew" (Comma after "voice")
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Well, it looks like the student's starting to lapse back in his old habits. I was wondering why there were so many instances of slipped open quotes, and then I figured it out. As I was doing the last edit before the post, I realized I wanted some sentences to pop out, so I separated it from the previous paragraph. Or I simply wanted to shorten a longer paragraph. In either case, I need to check it out more closely.
I've gone in and made a few of the changes, but the rest I'll take care of in the final edit.
Thank you so much for your doggedness.
Comment from kimdebfred
you write a lot and none of your books are published yet? you are a very good writer. Something will get out there of yours and I pray it does well.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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you write a lot and none of your books are published yet? you are a very good writer. Something will get out there of yours and I pray it does well.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Oh, I am so thrilled by your sweet sentiment, Kim. I have published, if you count Amazon eBooks. They are shown on the right side of my profile page and each chapter. I do plan to submit my Trining trilogy in the more conventional "brick 'n mortar" method. Thanks for your prayers.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
You would probably be a huge asset for the psychological training of the soldiers in Iraq fighting Isis, Jay. The American military doesn't know what a gem it has in its midst! Giddy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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You would probably be a huge asset for the psychological training of the soldiers in Iraq fighting Isis, Jay. The American military doesn't know what a gem it has in its midst! Giddy
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Well, that's a high compliment, Giddy. Thank you for discovering the strength of Doctrex's character. I'm afraid I don't own any of his qualities -- which is probably why I created him. LOL, thanks, Giddy for staying with me on this.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Hi, I enjoyed reading your story it has a good descriptive layout and easy to read. I haven't any bad remarks about it and I have no suggestion of change. Well done. Mary
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hi, I enjoyed reading your story it has a good descriptive layout and easy to read. I haven't any bad remarks about it and I have no suggestion of change. Well done. Mary
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2014
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Hey, thanks, Mary Ann. Come back again, won't you? Some exciting chapters coming up.