THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "BLIZZARD (Pt 1)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
24 total reviews
Comment from Tina McKala
two fallen, that means six will die in a battle? that's not so bad for the army as such... but let's see what it really means! :) well and smoothly written :)
ps: i'll try to read as much as possible today, becuase i'm afraid starting tomorrow i won't be able to read for the next 6 weeks, and if, then not more than 1 chapter/day.. :/
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
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two fallen, that means six will die in a battle? that's not so bad for the army as such... but let's see what it really means! :) well and smoothly written :)
ps: i'll try to read as much as possible today, becuase i'm afraid starting tomorrow i won't be able to read for the next 6 weeks, and if, then not more than 1 chapter/day.. :/
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015
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Tina, with all you've done to help MANY of my chapters achieve ATB status, any timeline needs no explanation. The whole idea was to get you caught up ... so that if the hardbound ever comes out you can say, "Naw, I've already read it ... and helped make it what it is!" If it ever DOES publish, you get a signed copy, my dear, perhaps a word of thanks in the preface.
Comment from Dashjianta
They're being hit by one incident after another now, but the troops unity and love for their home are keeping them strong and determined to succeed.
Am intrigued to see how these two fallen men will fit into the mini-prophecy.
Thoughts/Suggestions:
There was only (the/a?) white blast of driven snow.
In the storm I couldn't see the flinty, black face of the cliff that raised (rose?) up from the plain
I pointed to (a) solitary fissure in the face of the cliff
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
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They're being hit by one incident after another now, but the troops unity and love for their home are keeping them strong and determined to succeed.
Am intrigued to see how these two fallen men will fit into the mini-prophecy.
Thoughts/Suggestions:
There was only (the/a?) white blast of driven snow.
In the storm I couldn't see the flinty, black face of the cliff that raised (rose?) up from the plain
I pointed to (a) solitary fissure in the face of the cliff
Comment Written 15-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
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Thank you once again, Alex, for the time and effort you've put into these reviews. You have no idea how much they mean to me. You've definitely helped elevate the quality of this novel.
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'Twas my pleasure. And it's clear how much your writing improved as you progressed. There wasn't much left to pick out towards the end bar a few stray "s and ,s you'd probably would have found yourself. And I enjoyed it--that's the most important part.
Now...need more please. ;)
Comment from Twilightspire
Every time My Kabeez makes an appearance, I can't help but tear up. Such a lovely anthem and truly inspiring I would imagine.
Again, I love that the weather is a major obstacle in this. If it were just the enemy or just the weather, it would get kind of tiresome after a bit, but you do a great job juggling one with the other. You hit our men with so many obstacles to overcome it keeps the book fresh and entertaining.
Excellent work, my friend and onwards to the next. :D
-T.J.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2014
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Every time My Kabeez makes an appearance, I can't help but tear up. Such a lovely anthem and truly inspiring I would imagine.
Again, I love that the weather is a major obstacle in this. If it were just the enemy or just the weather, it would get kind of tiresome after a bit, but you do a great job juggling one with the other. You hit our men with so many obstacles to overcome it keeps the book fresh and entertaining.
Excellent work, my friend and onwards to the next. :D
-T.J.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2014
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Could have sworn I answered this. Maybe I didn't push send. Yes, weather does play an important part of much of the Trilogy. This particular chapter, I believe, was one of the book of the month nominations. I'm so happy you enjoyed this.
Comment from innerworlds
Winters in Michigan can be bone chilling, particularly last year's blizzards. Your descriptions are so real that I had to stop in the middle of reading this chapter to get some hot coffee!
I need to catch up on the chapters I missed (quite a few) to help me assimilate the story line to this point, but even then.. this chapter stands on its own as riveting.
I couldn't find a thing to change. Therefore, my friend, you get another six stars. ( From your list of honors, it seems to me you've accumlated quite a few of them by now!)
Always a good read, expertly written! Thanks!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Winters in Michigan can be bone chilling, particularly last year's blizzards. Your descriptions are so real that I had to stop in the middle of reading this chapter to get some hot coffee!
I need to catch up on the chapters I missed (quite a few) to help me assimilate the story line to this point, but even then.. this chapter stands on its own as riveting.
I couldn't find a thing to change. Therefore, my friend, you get another six stars. ( From your list of honors, it seems to me you've accumlated quite a few of them by now!)
Always a good read, expertly written! Thanks!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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Welcome home, Randi! Gaaaaah-leeee, I appreciate that awesome flag of the chartreuse cross waving at the end of those string of five stars. Love the smell of chartreuse in the morning!
I get so many compliments on the realism of the blizzard scene and other cold scenes. Truly, it's all from the imagination. I am a valley boy from Bakersfield, in California (where today it's 81 degrees. Every ten years or so we get a fine powdering of snow here. I sit inside and watch the cars skidding down the street in front of my window -- thermostat at 75!
Thanks again, Randi. How are you feeling? Better?
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I'm better most of the time, with an occasional backward slide. But it's hard to slow me down.
Now I would have thought you were from the south with that Gaaaaah-leeee! Do you know the lrics to "Back Home Again In Indiana"? (0:]
We here in Michigan have to chuckle when warm weather folk have to close schools and businesses and keep their cars off the road when they get a couple inches of snow.
So then, I must compliment you on your very accurate imagination! Nice work... as always!
And I am more appreciative than I can say that my favorite writer is willing to post my blog info on Twitter. Does it get better than that???? I'll send you my blog schedule in a few days. My blog host underwent open heart surgery and is having a slow time recovering. We still need to tweak of few things. I'll be in touch on that. Meanwhile... more reviews!!!
Comment from krprice
I was afraid I knew what it was. Show afraid.
"We must work together in teams. . . like a tuft of hair from an aged nostril. Excellent concreteness.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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I was afraid I knew what it was. Show afraid.
"We must work together in teams. . . like a tuft of hair from an aged nostril. Excellent concreteness.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 28-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2014
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I've got a mirror in my bathroom. I've got nostrils. I'm aged. A piece of cake!
Thanks, Karlene.
Comment from Writingfundimension
A really excellent chapter, Jay. The writing is smooth and moves the story along extremely well. I always enjoy the addition of My Kabeez. It not only calms the troops but gives hope to the reader as well. Great job! :) Bev
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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A really excellent chapter, Jay. The writing is smooth and moves the story along extremely well. I always enjoy the addition of My Kabeez. It not only calms the troops but gives hope to the reader as well. Great job! :) Bev
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Bev. I'm happy to see that you don't feel I've overdone the My Kabeez song.
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Not at all, Jay. It works like a refrain/bridge does in a piece of music for me.
:) Bev
Comment from Walter L. Jones
The story moves with bits and pieces, you capture memory, require the reader to be active, leave us concerned, help us see the human of each that cross our path, and give us a view, a dream happening, good skill set, enjoying..Walt
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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The story moves with bits and pieces, you capture memory, require the reader to be active, leave us concerned, help us see the human of each that cross our path, and give us a view, a dream happening, good skill set, enjoying..Walt
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thanks Walt. You especially thrill me when you say I require the reader to be active. It may sound like self-horn-tooting, but I believe that's what sets apart the novice from the seasoned writer. Thanks again.
Comment from lindalcreel
It makes me wonder what other games Rheuther is up to. He is intent on winning this battle with Doctrix and taking the ultimate prize -- his lady love. We'll see just how far Doctrix is willing to go to save her. It might cost more lives.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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It makes me wonder what other games Rheuther is up to. He is intent on winning this battle with Doctrix and taking the ultimate prize -- his lady love. We'll see just how far Doctrix is willing to go to save her. It might cost more lives.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Oh, thank you so much, Linda. You'll see some more direct games before long, Linda. Trust me.
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Looking forward to it.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is a wonderful chapter, Jay, because it's inspirational in the face of such ghastly weather. I felt inspired just reading the lyrics of your song, Giddy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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This is a wonderful chapter, Jay, because it's inspirational in the face of such ghastly weather. I felt inspired just reading the lyrics of your song, Giddy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Giddy. Good to have you back and enjoying my book. You do know I'm posting only to pass the time until your next script comes out.
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You are such a great fan, Jay. Three scenes to go!
Comment from marijmd
Its not enough they have to battle the enemy soon - but nature is against them now too! I could sense the threat of a snowstorm and knowing they have to fight to survive this as well.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Its not enough they have to battle the enemy soon - but nature is against them now too! I could sense the threat of a snowstorm and knowing they have to fight to survive this as well.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Maria. Yeah, not everything is magic and Rhuether involved. Or is it?