Comment from Muffins

Exceptional

I laughed for a full minute. The prose and the photo and the bully's new facebook#, killed me. The grammer, the speech was just enough to give the story flavor and not alienate the reader. The pace was lighting fast, the bully and his now former victims exploded from the page with thier diaglogue, resolve and personality. I going to read this again for another douse of laughter!

I knew I there was a reason I saved my last 6 star rating!

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2014

Comment from nordicgirl

Excellent

Just about as complete a story as you can get in a hundred words. A satisfying payback to this bully that will never forget his first kiss!!!

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Holy butt crack! Is it wrong for me to feel genuine sympathy for poor Rufus, even though he was a bully? Good God, that would be a fate worse than death!

I don't want anything fat but my wallet and my bank account. I've even received a fat lip a time or two for saying so to a few very persistent ladies who would not take "NO!" for an answer. POW!!! Right in the chops!

Speaking of chops, I hear pork chops are up to 1.99 per lb.

Disgraceful! :)

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2014

Comment from LOA7

Excellent

That's a new way of getting back at a bully. As a kid, I would not have known anyone who would kiss a bully. The photo gives a great image to the story. All the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Well, I have to say it is different. I'm not sure if a first kiss actually happened in the story thought. You may have ended it too soon. But, as far as first kisses go, other than the size, it's a nice one.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

Comment from jmdg1954

Good

Maybe it's me, but this didn't make much sense. How is it that the bully is being swindled into being kissed by a girl? Was he held down against his will? What's do no underpants have to do with the story? There was no kiss. Say "cheese"? Meaning what?

I'm at a loss. Sorry. John

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 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014

Well, the gal had a giant buttocks. She turned around which would have the buttocks facing him, they lifted her skirt, etc. The buttocks is what he had to kiss as payback for being a bully. "Say cheese" is what we say here before snapping a photograph. So, it was being immortalized on film to be put on the internet. One of my deeper offerings! Hahaha.

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the pictures. I love the story. It was a real cruel joke on the little boy. They wanted him to kiss the wrong cheeks of a girl. This may make him give up kissing altogether. Great work. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this fills the requirements of a humoristic piece of literary art! it's not easy cramming a story into 100 words. you have successfully done that!
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

Comment from GeraldS

Excellent

Wow, mystery writer, you have some imagination. This narrative is not only humorous, it's also downright scary. Even the name Brasoon is precious, although someone with a fabled butt probably has some early development there too,

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Hey, Mikey. You might want to work on your dialect
a little. I know you're writing 'cartoon', but
it should still sound somewhat realistic, don't you think?
Best of luck at the polls.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2014