The One You Never Notice
It Happens35 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's sweet. A little unrealistic, but sweet. I'm glad Karen didn't go through with that awful 'prank.' She must have known from the beginning they planned to do more than scare him. Congratulations on your win.
That's sweet. A little unrealistic, but sweet. I'm glad Karen didn't go through with that awful 'prank.' She must have known from the beginning they planned to do more than scare him. Congratulations on your win.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
Comment from Andrewajgblue
This is a brilliant story, I'm so glad it had a happy ending, I was worried for a minute, this was really well written and caught my imagination straight away, well done, a worthy winner, congratulations,
Andrew
This is a brilliant story, I'm so glad it had a happy ending, I was worried for a minute, this was really well written and caught my imagination straight away, well done, a worthy winner, congratulations,
Andrew
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
Comment from G.B. Smith
She took one hand off the wheel, laid it on top Jason's. Smiling she slid his hand up her thigh. "I really like you, a lot."
"Oh, is this third base?"
Karen laughed and patted his hand. "Silly boy, you're going to be an MVP."
I love the odds of a home run. Great story line
Bear
She took one hand off the wheel, laid it on top Jason's. Smiling she slid his hand up her thigh. "I really like you, a lot."
"Oh, is this third base?"
Karen laughed and patted his hand. "Silly boy, you're going to be an MVP."
I love the odds of a home run. Great story line
Bear
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
Comment from Righteous Riter
Honestly, I photo catch my eye and I just had to see what was written behind it. I like the description within the words as they gave me a clear visual of the events that took place. This piece has it all as I can understand why this piece won the contest. Congrats.
Honestly, I photo catch my eye and I just had to see what was written behind it. I like the description within the words as they gave me a clear visual of the events that took place. This piece has it all as I can understand why this piece won the contest. Congrats.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
Comment from DSchlosser
Well, the picture sure caught me off guard when I popped in to read this one. Definitely unexpected. The story was good though, I liked how you set things up with the two characters and having them escape the scene.
Well, the picture sure caught me off guard when I popped in to read this one. Definitely unexpected. The story was good though, I liked how you set things up with the two characters and having them escape the scene.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
Comment from ann marie mazz
hello
wonderful story
we were all in the scene with karen and jason
your words were vivid and clear
well written to follow along
thank you for sharing
congratulations on winning the contest
ann marie
hello
wonderful story
we were all in the scene with karen and jason
your words were vivid and clear
well written to follow along
thank you for sharing
congratulations on winning the contest
ann marie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
Comment from Max Edon
I thought that this was a really cute story. The characters were really likable. I hope Mike and his friends got into big trouble.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
I thought that this was a really cute story. The characters were really likable. I hope Mike and his friends got into big trouble.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much. I really appreciate the great review.
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You are welcome
Comment from JBCaine
Sir Pokesalot-
You seem to be quite a randy fellow.
Good for you. This was well-written, and I congratulate you on your contest win.
I saw no issues with spelling or typos.
Anyway, nicely done, and pay ye no nevermind to my nonsense.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
Sir Pokesalot-
You seem to be quite a randy fellow.
Good for you. This was well-written, and I congratulate you on your contest win.
I saw no issues with spelling or typos.
Anyway, nicely done, and pay ye no nevermind to my nonsense.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from AAud
I missed the vote on this one but I can see why you were the winner. This was a fabulous teen story opening with the "populars" vs. the "other." It was a nice change to have the pretty girl grow a conscience.
Toward the end I had a brief moment of confusion over who was speaking because there was a space between two lines that were both spoken by Karen,"But, how do you know..." and "Yeah, if they don't have you, they'll take their rage out on your car..." For a minute I thought the "you" referred to Karen - that if Mike couldn't have Karen, he'd take it out on her car. But she and Jason were in her car. To save any future confusion, I think all her dialog could have stayed in the same paragraph.
I really liked the tension in the story - will they get out in time or not? Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
I missed the vote on this one but I can see why you were the winner. This was a fabulous teen story opening with the "populars" vs. the "other." It was a nice change to have the pretty girl grow a conscience.
Toward the end I had a brief moment of confusion over who was speaking because there was a space between two lines that were both spoken by Karen,"But, how do you know..." and "Yeah, if they don't have you, they'll take their rage out on your car..." For a minute I thought the "you" referred to Karen - that if Mike couldn't have Karen, he'd take it out on her car. But she and Jason were in her car. To save any future confusion, I think all her dialog could have stayed in the same paragraph.
I really liked the tension in the story - will they get out in time or not? Great job!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much. Great catch. You are right about those two lines.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I always like a good romance and this is one. I loved it. This is a very strong contest entry. I enjoyed the characters and the outcome. Good luck.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
I always like a good romance and this is one. I loved it. This is a very strong contest entry. I enjoyed the characters and the outcome. Good luck.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you very much