Reviews from

Shepherd

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Not"
poems inspired by Psalm 23

51 total reviews 
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your poem showed the tortured time before the crucifixion. When Jesus wrestled with the knowledge of knowing his fate. How terrifying that must have been. But I love the lines not mine but thy will be done. When I'm wrestling with my own demons, I repeat thy will be done over and over. It helps me accept what's next. Beautifully written. Gretchen

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
    Hi Gretchen,
    Thank you for sharing your insights and pointing out what you liked best. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself as well.
    Debi
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There is so much to be learned, copied and repeated here. Learn what it is to be humble. Copy the pattern of humility that Jesus always showed. Learn to repeat this action as often as possible, and you just might earn the right to live upon the earth in perfection forever.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi nomi338,
    Thank you for such an insightful review. I appreciate you stopping by to read and leave your impressions.
    Debi
reply by nomi338 on 06-Apr-2023
    Always, dear sis.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't remember writing a trionet, I like it. Do you have to write in rhyme and meter?

Your poem about God is very spiritual...sounds like a prayer. You did well. Too bad you missed the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023
    Hi Gypsy,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments about the poem.
    In answer to your question:
    The trinet does not require rhyme or meter. It was the first form I recall seeing that was based on word count. Here is the form per shadowpoetry.com
    Trinet
    The Trinet, created by zion, is a form with these specifications:

    Line 1 - 2 words
    Line 2 - 2 words
    Line 3 - 6 words
    Line 4 - 6 words
    Line 5 - 2 words
    Line 6 - 2 words
    Line 7 - 2 words

    Repeat this pattern 2 more times, if centered correctly it looks like three crosses.
reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 05-Apr-2023
    Thank you!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    You are welcome.
Comment from shelley kaye
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

- cool trinet poems
- good construction
- nice rhyme and flow


thank you for sharing



shelley ð?¦?

-------------

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023
    Hi Shelley,
    Thank you for stopping by to review this poem. I appreciate your time and response.
    Debi
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am sorry you missed the contest. This was a beautiful poem, and you did a great job with the format. I also like that each stanza seems to be in the shape of a cross. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2023
    Hi jessizero,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments about the the poem. The shape is a requirement of the form. I am happy you noticed.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-Thanks for sharing the artwork and poem, Debi.
-You did a good job with the form and the ideas in the poem.
-You take us through the steps that Christ must have felt in this situation.
-You capture emotions and thoughts very well in the first verse.
-Then you show "Such sorrow and agony he bore," and still asks that "His will be done.
-A very good concluding verse. I am glad you shared this.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you for the shiny six stars and the encouraging comments. I appreciate the comments about the writing and the theme of the verse. I am happy you enjoyed this one.
    Debi
reply by Pam (respa) on 06-Apr-2023
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. I appreciate your reply.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Beautiful!! Very meaningful and insightful and I am glad you shared it. If would have been an excellent entry. It's a wonderful Easter meditation. Thank you very much.
Wendy

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi Wendy,
    Thank you for the kind comments. I happy you found this a meaning Easter medication.
    Debi
Comment from Julie Lau
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your presentation is very clever, the length of the lines forming a cross in each verse. Also, I'm intrigued by your profile photo: do you identify with the beautiful white show pony, or with the tiny little, ever-so-brave monkey perched upon its neck? Julie L

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi Julie Lau,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments about the poem.
    The picture in my profile is a unicorn and a fairy. I like fantasy fiction so I like both. Thank you for asking.
    Debi
Comment from Mintybee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a beautiful description of the story of Jesus' death. You use the trinet structure well. The repetition of "not this but that" structure is good for contemplation. The way you contrasted opposites was skillfully done.
Mintybee

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi Mintybee,
    Thank you for your kind analysis of the poetry form and execution. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Faith Williams
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You used this configuration well so those two-word lines stand out when reading them. Love how you rhyme the longer lines in contrast to the shorter ones. A fitting poem for Holy Week. Thanks so much for sharing your amazing poem!

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2023


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2023
    Hi Faith Williams.
    Thank you for the excellent analysis of the form and pointing out what worked. I am happy you liked this presentation for Holy Week.
    Debi