Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 147 "Danced on Air"Small and Specialty Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from MagKing
This poem once again highlights something I hadn't mentioned previously. Most of your poems are quite narrative. A voice from most of the lines tells me it's biographical; more like you loved observing and then jotting only to place them better as a poem.
Thanks for sharing!
MagKing
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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This poem once again highlights something I hadn't mentioned previously. Most of your poems are quite narrative. A voice from most of the lines tells me it's biographical; more like you loved observing and then jotting only to place them better as a poem.
Thanks for sharing!
MagKing
Comment Written 04-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reading and commenting
Comment from risktaker
I enjoyed the flow. I related to the beauty of their bodies as they glide through the air. I captured the vision of them working as a unit as they traveled to their next destination. A great picture of the flexibility innate in the birds.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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I enjoyed the flow. I related to the beauty of their bodies as they glide through the air. I captured the vision of them working as a unit as they traveled to their next destination. A great picture of the flexibility innate in the birds.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Thank you risktaker.
Comment from Glasstruth
Nice rhythm throughout, as your rhyming couplets easily led to the next and the next without ever losing its feathered flair. I think birds are lucky to be so free. Beautifully written. Les
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Nice rhythm throughout, as your rhyming couplets easily led to the next and the next without ever losing its feathered flair. I think birds are lucky to be so free. Beautifully written. Les
Comment Written 02-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, Les.
Comment from ravenblack
Noisy and messy, honking and hissing. But their return heralds spring. And for all their faults, they do mate for life. It is easier too contemplate two than a gaggle.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Noisy and messy, honking and hissing. But their return heralds spring. And for all their faults, they do mate for life. It is easier too contemplate two than a gaggle.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2014
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Thank you, yes, you saw the silver lining.
Comment from rod007
Perfect rhyming in a couplet style that reinforces the sentiment in this beautiful piece. Nature dictates they must go, a sign I would think of winter's arrival. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Perfect rhyming in a couplet style that reinforces the sentiment in this beautiful piece. Nature dictates they must go, a sign I would think of winter's arrival. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thanks rod. Another cycle of life.
Comment from lakeport
Danced on air, indeed the geese are beautiful to watch flying that's a beautiful expressed poem, nice in form and rhyme.i enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Danced on air, indeed the geese are beautiful to watch flying that's a beautiful expressed poem, nice in form and rhyme.i enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you Lakeport.
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your welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tom, funny as I was watching them take off over the lake too. Sometimes they land in my yard and leave a heck of a mess:)
This is well penned and brings both a light and fun feel to it as I read. Great job my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Dear Tom, funny as I was watching them take off over the lake too. Sometimes they land in my yard and leave a heck of a mess:)
This is well penned and brings both a light and fun feel to it as I read. Great job my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you Naureen. Glad you felt the lightness that I I tended.
Comment from Joan E.
Not an easy feat to catch birds in flight--even the messy ones! You had me with your opening line and I enjoyed all the rhymed couplets. I was sad to see them go too. But it may mean that spring is not far behind... -Joan
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Not an easy feat to catch birds in flight--even the messy ones! You had me with your opening line and I enjoyed all the rhymed couplets. I was sad to see them go too. But it may mean that spring is not far behind... -Joan
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thanks Joan. That would be good.
Comment from mumsyone
Oh, I hate to see the geese go. I love the sound of them flying over my house, or "talking" to each other as they forage for leftover field corn across the road from me.
Nice couplets, with good rhyme and meter, and a beautiful picture.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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Oh, I hate to see the geese go. I love the sound of them flying over my house, or "talking" to each other as they forage for leftover field corn across the road from me.
Nice couplets, with good rhyme and meter, and a beautiful picture.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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Thank you Mumsyone.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
They danced on air,
this mated pair.
From earth they'd fling
in a graceful swing. in graceful swing 4 beats
With feathered flair
they rose to midair. they rose in air
Two geese on the wing, Two geese awing,
an ordinary thing. A wondrous thing
I became aware I was aware
of their presence there. of presence there
They owned the sky
as they flew on by. as they flew by
It was such a sight 'Twas such a sight
of two birds in flight, two birds in flight
As they hung overall, When over all
I was in their thrall,
compelling the height raising the height
of my delight.
Their responses flow their honking flows
when cold winds blow. when cold wind blows
When I heard their call, I heard them call
it was late late fall. Late in the fall
Their instincts know
when it's time to go. When time to go.
So I waved goodbye So waved goodbye
with a heavy sigh. With heavy sigh.
All lines 4 beats. Just having fun. No disrespect intended.
Regards:
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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They danced on air,
this mated pair.
From earth they'd fling
in a graceful swing. in graceful swing 4 beats
With feathered flair
they rose to midair. they rose in air
Two geese on the wing, Two geese awing,
an ordinary thing. A wondrous thing
I became aware I was aware
of their presence there. of presence there
They owned the sky
as they flew on by. as they flew by
It was such a sight 'Twas such a sight
of two birds in flight, two birds in flight
As they hung overall, When over all
I was in their thrall,
compelling the height raising the height
of my delight.
Their responses flow their honking flows
when cold winds blow. when cold wind blows
When I heard their call, I heard them call
it was late late fall. Late in the fall
Their instincts know
when it's time to go. When time to go.
So I waved goodbye So waved goodbye
with a heavy sigh. With heavy sigh.
All lines 4 beats. Just having fun. No disrespect intended.
Regards:
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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Thanks Stephen. Yup, that would work.
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Dear Tom: Glad you have an open mind. Just posted 'Pond' and 'Dreams'. Thanks.
With Affection: Steve C
PS: How's the weather? Sunny here in Vegas.
