Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 135 "Sunset Passion"Small and Specialty Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from MagKing
I see this as a Shakespearean sonnet...But you've made it so obvious is not originally yours.
When it's a good write but the syllable scheme is imperfect.
Check the last line of the piece; the syllable there is eleven not ten like the rest.
MagKing
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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I see this as a Shakespearean sonnet...But you've made it so obvious is not originally yours.
When it's a good write but the syllable scheme is imperfect.
Check the last line of the piece; the syllable there is eleven not ten like the rest.
MagKing
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Thank you MagKing. I'll check that out.
Comment from Ure Connection
Quite nice and the language reminds me of a time my parents would love to read about. The last three lines are relevant to me as my mother, 77, has just reconnected with a love of her youthful middle years in the Resthome.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Quite nice and the language reminds me of a time my parents would love to read about. The last three lines are relevant to me as my mother, 77, has just reconnected with a love of her youthful middle years in the Resthome.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Thank you Ure.
Comment from royowen
A beautifully written sonnet, with similarities in style to the original quite striking! The narrative flows easily with sound meter, and the rhyming is good! I liked the descriptive language in the narrative. Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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A beautifully written sonnet, with similarities in style to the original quite striking! The narrative flows easily with sound meter, and the rhyming is good! I liked the descriptive language in the narrative. Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Thank you Roy.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
paints with palettes Love the 'p' alliteration
purpled pink Love 'whence' and 'doth' " "
bards boisterously sang 'b' "
glowing globe/sits setting Double "
'Tis then the time ALL those 't's
Before all God's blest/rest. Internal rhyme4
The pull/passion's 'p' Alliteration entices
CONSIDER:
PASSIONS IGNITE WHEREIN love's hopes may lie
Entwined when setting sun's last rays expire,
WHEN prayers arise MAY ardor last THIS long.
Loved the piece. No disrespect intended. My!! What a challenge so aptly met.
Regards:
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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paints with palettes Love the 'p' alliteration
purpled pink Love 'whence' and 'doth' " "
bards boisterously sang 'b' "
glowing globe/sits setting Double "
'Tis then the time ALL those 't's
Before all God's blest/rest. Internal rhyme4
The pull/passion's 'p' Alliteration entices
CONSIDER:
PASSIONS IGNITE WHEREIN love's hopes may lie
Entwined when setting sun's last rays expire,
WHEN prayers arise MAY ardor last THIS long.
Loved the piece. No disrespect intended. My!! What a challenge so aptly met.
Regards:
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Thank you Stephen. I'll consider them.
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Dear TOM: What a magnificent challenge so aptly met. Well done. Just posted 'Fury;' and 'Hamburger Hill'. Thanks.
Cheers: Steve
PS: How's the weather in M st.P?
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The weather got to 53 yesterday and is in the mid 40s today. A sloppy melt is underway.
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Dear Tom: A cold front has moved in making it cool and windy today in Vegas. Warm on WKND.
Steve:
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the Sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with hang/sang...west/rest. Good description that paints a clear picture. Good alliteration. Clear message as I see nothing that I would add or take out of this piece. Good work.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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Good use of the Sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with hang/sang...west/rest. Good description that paints a clear picture. Good alliteration. Clear message as I see nothing that I would add or take out of this piece. Good work.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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Thank you for you excellent review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this sonnet about the sweet hellos and goodbyes as the sun and moon pass by. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this sonnet about the sweet hellos and goodbyes as the sun and moon pass by. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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Thank you sweetwoodjax
Comment from chicken scratch love
What a beautiful picture this paints! Every appreciative swipe of the paint brush INDEED! There IS a certain marvel that deserves compassionate utmost attention...and it is called, "the sunset!". Thanks for the share!
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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What a beautiful picture this paints! Every appreciative swipe of the paint brush INDEED! There IS a certain marvel that deserves compassionate utmost attention...and it is called, "the sunset!". Thanks for the share!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much chicken scratch.
Comment from ravenblack
Good riposte, sunset as renewal/passion rather than death but not better than the bard (of course you know that). Did you use a filter to get those purples?
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Good riposte, sunset as renewal/passion rather than death but not better than the bard (of course you know that). Did you use a filter to get those purples?
Comment Written 21-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Thank you ravenblack. Yes, actually the sky was orange or gold and red. I really liked the result. Love digital cameras these days.
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Did you have problems installing your camera's software into your computer? Ours won't read the disc. Even sent in for a replacement disc and still no dice. I have a cannon SLR.
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No, none at all. I have a Kodak 982 and a Sony Alpha. I usually load to my iPad and later transfer to my PC. Transfer is automatic when they sync.
Comment from sunnilicious
Wonderful work. Creative and dripping with wonderful visual images. And plenty alliteration. I like glowing/globe the best. Good author notes. Nice work.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Wonderful work. Creative and dripping with wonderful visual images. And plenty alliteration. I like glowing/globe the best. Good author notes. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Thank you Alicia.
Comment from A Matter Of Words
You have written a very beautiful sonnet in response to the challenge set before you. The flow of the words was like gently floating down a river. Absolutely beautiful.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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You have written a very beautiful sonnet in response to the challenge set before you. The flow of the words was like gently floating down a river. Absolutely beautiful.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for you wonderful words.
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The pleasure was all mine. I could not imagine writing something so beautiful.
