Ambrosia
Mining in space 597 words35 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
You espoused great imagination in writing the science fiction which I could never do. Appropriate picture accompanies your piece. Water is the sustenance of life so it is welcome anytime.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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You espoused great imagination in writing the science fiction which I could never do. Appropriate picture accompanies your piece. Water is the sustenance of life so it is welcome anytime.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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I appreciate the insights you share and the encouraging comments. Thank you.
Comment from emjaihammond
I think water is much like Ambrosia. We don't know how lucky we are to have all we need. Some places in the world would tell us how awful it can be to have less than enough. This is written in an interesting way and it keeps the reader involved throughout.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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I think water is much like Ambrosia. We don't know how lucky we are to have all we need. Some places in the world would tell us how awful it can be to have less than enough. This is written in an interesting way and it keeps the reader involved throughout.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the insights about water and how precious it is. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the writing. Thank you.
Comment from mfowler
With all that water, this was bound to be a clean sci fi. I really enjoyed the concept being explored here; the mining and marketing of water from asteroids. The conversation carries the piece, building relationships, explaining concepts and linking the narrative. There is a bigger story to be told here, if you decide to pursue it.Very well written!
Edit: "So what ?..............? you most interested in doing while you're here, Abigail?"
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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With all that water, this was bound to be a clean sci fi. I really enjoyed the concept being explored here; the mining and marketing of water from asteroids. The conversation carries the piece, building relationships, explaining concepts and linking the narrative. There is a bigger story to be told here, if you decide to pursue it.Very well written!
Edit: "So what ?..............? you most interested in doing while you're here, Abigail?"
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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Thank you for a very encouraging review. I appreciate your analysis and the kind comments. I am seriously considering expanding the story.
Also, thanks for catching the missing word. I will add "are" in the place you indicate.
Comment from PrincessinPurple
The story is an interesting read. I do like the characters. I could see the image in my mind as I read the story. I do not see any correction which are need for the story.
You could turn this into a story I would like to see what else happened to Abigail.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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The story is an interesting read. I do like the characters. I could see the image in my mind as I read the story. I do not see any correction which are need for the story.
You could turn this into a story I would like to see what else happened to Abigail.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2014
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I am flattered that you think this could be a longer story. I appreciate the kind comments and encouragement.
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Not a problem!
Comment from A Matter Of Words
I am not a sci-fi fan, but this was well-written, with natural dialogue and and easy flow to the story. I made me think about water here on earth and how it has become such a commodity. Excellent story - good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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I am not a sci-fi fan, but this was well-written, with natural dialogue and and easy flow to the story. I made me think about water here on earth and how it has become such a commodity. Excellent story - good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments. It means a lot when a non sci-fi fan enjoys a story she wouldn't normally read. You are right about water being a commodity on earth. I wonder what adding more would do to us--hinder of help?
Thank you for the good wishes. I appreciate the encouragement.
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You are most welcome - I really did enjoy the piece. As for adding more water as a commodity, I suspect it would be utilized to go to the highest bidder no matter how many die of thirst, which is a very dismal thought.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi w.j.debi,
An interesting concept for a story, mining water from asteroids, comets might be more promising, but there could well be water trapped in asteroids as well. Why not, all things scifi are speculative. Good story, it has all the elements and keeps the interest. Good luck with your project for your preacher.
Patrick
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Hi w.j.debi,
An interesting concept for a story, mining water from asteroids, comets might be more promising, but there could well be water trapped in asteroids as well. Why not, all things scifi are speculative. Good story, it has all the elements and keeps the interest. Good luck with your project for your preacher.
Patrick
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Hi Patrick,
Thanks for the encouraging comments.
I actually got the idea for the story from an episode of Nova on PBS. They talked about space exploration funding from governments waning, but that the private sector was finding commercial interest in mining asteroids for their minerals. But the most lucrative thing to mine could be the water. It seems most of the water on earth is thought to have come from asteroids that crashed into the earth. Who would have thought? I would have thought comets had more water myself. Hey, maybe Gramps could mine bothâ?¦.
The prompt was done by sweetwoodjax for her pastor. I just entered the contest. I hope she got what she wanted for him.
Comment from Paddywack
Lovely relationship between the two characters. Well writen, and the concept has potential for a longer story. It's difficult to suggest areas to improve, given you only had 600 words to work with, but two things struck me. The opening two sentences are sparse, offering little by way of colour or interest. You could easily eliminate them and use the words better elsewhere. The same goes with "I gazed out the window' later in the story. The second point I'd like to make is that given how close Abigail appears to her grandfather, I was surprised at how little she knew about him. I would like to hear what she thinks about what her grandfather is telling her. I enjoyed the story - thanks for sharing. Hope you find these comments are useful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Lovely relationship between the two characters. Well writen, and the concept has potential for a longer story. It's difficult to suggest areas to improve, given you only had 600 words to work with, but two things struck me. The opening two sentences are sparse, offering little by way of colour or interest. You could easily eliminate them and use the words better elsewhere. The same goes with "I gazed out the window' later in the story. The second point I'd like to make is that given how close Abigail appears to her grandfather, I was surprised at how little she knew about him. I would like to hear what she thinks about what her grandfather is telling her. I enjoyed the story - thanks for sharing. Hope you find these comments are useful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank for the review, happy New Year.
Comment from Lynette Marie
This is a sweet, entertaining story. I like the feel of the close relationship between the girl and her grandfather. This definitely fits the guidelines of the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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This is a sweet, entertaining story. I like the feel of the close relationship between the girl and her grandfather. This definitely fits the guidelines of the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind remarks, Lynette. Thank you for commenting on the relationship you felt between the girl and her grandfather. 600 words doesn't give a lot of room for developing the story or the characters. I appreciate the encouragement.
Comment from lancellot
I like space stories and this one feel like it has a lot of potential behind it or epic. Something I would consider if I were you. This is too good to let go.
notes:
Gramps pointed across the room to [the] window and the wonderful view into space
- add word
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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I like space stories and this one feel like it has a lot of potential behind it or epic. Something I would consider if I were you. This is too good to let go.
notes:
Gramps pointed across the room to [the] window and the wonderful view into space
- add word
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you for a very encouraging review Lancellott!
I was thinking this could be a much longer tale. Gramps must have made some enemies on his way to riches, space is full of danger, and a curious teenager is bound to get into trouble even innocently. Thank goodness for the prompt and the episode of Nova I watched that gave me the idea for the story. I think I will take your advice and work on it. I find the prospect exciting.
Thanks for catching the missing word. I will get it corrected.
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful short story. It speaks to the love of the exotic. It is well written. The reader can connect with your characters.
Barbara
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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This is a wonderful short story. It speaks to the love of the exotic. It is well written. The reader can connect with your characters.
Barbara
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review, Barbara. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing and the characters.
