Reviews from

Let's Love Today

a pantoum, that blew in on today's winter rains

45 total reviews 
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
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Excellent photo to complement your poem. I never mind is someone uses a bit of poetic license. It is about the weather and about love. I liked it a lot.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
    thx Ine! how ARE YOU??
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Nice usage of enjambment. Good alliteration with, "lightest lacy". A wonderfully penned pantoum, Sharyn. It speaks of living and loving for now, for today, and never waiting for tomorrow. For many of us, tomorrow may never come...

Beautiful & extremely touching, my friend.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
    THX SO MUCH DEAN!
reply by Dean Kuch on 16-Nov-2013
    My pleasure!
Comment from DBastian
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are quite the conductor of words, organizing them in tremendous, melodic ways. Wow ... what concert you created here!

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
    I loved creating this one! and I'm delighted that you, too, can hear the music my dear - thank you so much, both for 'hearing' and for that wonderful sixer!
    Big smiles!
    Sharyn
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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solid use of abab rhyming
excellent use of enjambment to keep thoughts flowing from line to line
nice alliteration in lightest lacy and in smile and sigh
beautiful descriptive detail
interesting how you use one of the unused lines from stanza one as your final line but you don't use the other unused line from stanza one in your closing.
excellent repetition of lines in good pantoum pattern in all the stanzas leading up to the last one.
Brooke

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
    I just went from a pantoum definition I found online Brooke - there seem to be a LOT of variations (including Poetry Dances!) And yes, I wondered about that myself! :)S
Comment from DALLAS01
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I normally do not care for this form, however this is an exception. It is a visual treat. In addition to possessing vivid imagery, the words themselves decorate the page, my eyes were drawn to it. Favorite line:
we celebrate the seasons - death and birth.


 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
    Bless you Dallas - I have mixed feelings about this form as it CAN be really boring, but I've read some that are lovely, and these gentle rains just seemed to lend themselves to it ... I'm SO glad you enjoyed it and I really appreciate your lovely six!
    :)S
reply by DALLAS01 on 16-Nov-2013
    :.) Have a great weekend.
Comment from Patti R.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OMG! Sharyn! Oh how I wish I'd written this! May I borrow it sometime? Wowsers.

Yea, somethin' blew in on that chilly winter wind ...

A sixer all the way with me - I love pantoum.

Patti

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
    aaah, I KNEW you'd like this one! and borrow it any time dear! I love pantoum, too, though I've only ever written one other - it just seemed to fit the mist ... thank you so much for that lovely six! yeah!!
    :)S
Comment from Opal H.
Excellent
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Wow, this poem has such intense yet relaxed feelings of love in it. It is filled with romance, and has a sense of yolo in it that's very relaxing.

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
    I'm definitely into yolo Opal! thx so much!
    :)S
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

With all your script writing and acting, you have not forgotten how to write a perfect pantoum. It read very well as you made use of alliteratons in lines and rhymes at line ends. This I see as a professional write and a keeper. Thanks for sharing this with your fans and admirers. Bob

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
    I like this one too, Bob - so glad that you do! And yes, I feel this one's a 'keeper' too. I'm delighted with your magic sixer! Bless you, as always, my friend.
    Big hugs
    Sharyn
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
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You've used some sweet descriptive lines, Sharyn. I can tell you were inspired by what you saw. I always find the ocean to be inspirational. In this, I get to share your impressions.

There's romance woven with a sense of peace in your words. I love the image of tendrils of rain, and the curtains moving with the breeze.

Quite beautiful!

Bravo

Av

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
    thx so much Av! :)S
Comment from emrpoems
Excellent
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Superb combination of picture and poem
The perfect Pantoum structure --quatrains having the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza repeated as the first and third lines of the next stanza. The first and last lines are the same.
Alliterations: blurred between, sea and sky, lightest lacy,
wreaths of winter's, smile, and sigh.
An enjoyable read

 Comment Written 15-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
    thank you so much my dear!
    :)S