Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

A lot can be said in this style as you have quite easily demonstrated.
Sundown is such a wonderful time of day so rich with images, colours, activities and more.
You have very thoughtfully packaged this in a formatted style which captures this time of day well ./ ice image choice.
:-) Shirley

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016

Thank you Shirley. I appreciate your wonderful review.

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

HI Tom,
this has some lovely and subtle imagery... it's a calm poem which led me to reflect on one of my favorite times of the day

As little breeze
Through the barren trees
Moves on

Another day
That has slipped away
Is done

these are my favorite parts of it.... and it makes me feel very peaceful inside... it's an interesting form which makes the reader stop and reflect.

lovely photograph and thanks for sharing
Cat

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016

Thank you Cat for such a sweet review.

reply by I am Cat on 15-Jan-2016

You're welcome Tom. ;)

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

This deserves six stars and I'm sorry to only have five but I want to express my thanks for the lovely read and appreciation thereof! Nothing I can suggest could make this work any finer. Good Job and thanks for the enjoyment! HIS GRAYNESS

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you so much Vance.

reply by His Grayness on 08-Jan-2016

You are always entirely welcomed! Vance

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

Today is one of those days, I am glad it is over and done and thankful for the setting sun to end the day. Only hope for a better day tomorrow when the sun shows up again.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Sandra. Smile, and pray that it does come up.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Tom,

This was a harder poem for me to 'get into' than most of yours are. The capitalization through me off a bit, to tell the truth - right from the start, when all three words had caps it made me focus on that rather than the words. (sorry!)

And since the stanzas are mostly made of grammatical statements, the caps that began each line also threw me a bit. (Probably just me!)

I've made it a habit to always read your notes first so I'll better be able to appreciate your offering, but this time you threw me. When you said 'Last word of successive stanzas rhyme' I was thinking --first of all, that it meant ALL the stanzas would rhyme, and --secondly, that a stanza would rhyme with the following one, at least making couplets, kinda. But 'the sky' seems to be out there on its own...

I'm sure this is perfectly created and I am just a bit dense, but it wasn't a favorite. The images were lovely, though, as always and the artwork is perfect.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Ok Robyn I understand what you say. I guess I didn't recognize the issue with the capitals myself, but now that you pointed it out, I see what you mean. I appreciate your input.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Something's got a bit garbled in your notes, Tom. As a result i'm not quite sure what is supposed to rhyme with what. The third stanza's last word rhymes with that of the last two and all the others rhyme with themselves. Sorry I'm confused by the typo. When it's all sorted I'm sure it will be ok.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Yes, I'll have to give it another look.

reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

I got it fixed now.

reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

I got it fixed now.

Comment from AnnieDawn

Excellent

I love your poem and the picture you have used to enhance it. This type of poetry is new to me and I am appreciative of your explanation on how to read it. You have done a good job following the form and having it make complete sense. Great job.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Annie.

Comment from JanPerry

Excellent

You have achieved this particularly well, your poem is of a very high standard.
The competition here has become deadly, in that everyone has stepped up this year. Well done!

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Jan.

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

Lovely post, Treischel. It has a vivid life to it that can carry on in my imagination if only I allow it. Who knows. It might just be that interlude I need.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thank you Artemis. Interlude away and enjoy the day!

Comment from ann marie mazz

Excellent

hello

everything states and sings poetry starting with the title

excellent work on the format
beautiful presentation and illustration
wonderful poetic words to convey this moment in time

this was a pleasure to read in its entirety
however
because I love the ocean
I adored the line you wrote that I showcase below

"All cars once parked
By pavilion's path
Are gone"

that's may favorite time
you have me smiling

thank your for sharing your poetic talent
ann marie

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2013

Thank you Ann Marie. I'm glad you connected with a piece of this poem.