FATE -- Fortune Admission Test Exam
No escape from the FATE. Please read Notes. 262 words65 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
My friend, I'm sure you believe as you espouse.
But the category reads non-fiction, while your author's notes assure us this is fictional work.
I'm sure you have a point to make. I'm sure I'll find it when you are ready to reveal.
Peace, Lee
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My friend, I'm sure you believe as you espouse.
But the category reads non-fiction, while your author's notes assure us this is fictional work.
I'm sure you have a point to make. I'm sure I'll find it when you are ready to reveal.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from Adri7enne
Must be nice to feel you can stand at the gate and judge everyone according to your rule book. Who made you judge, A.?
Or who made you the interpretor of God's rules? I think it's rather patronizing and self-righteous for anyone to stand aside, as if they don't belong to the ranks of common mortals, and tell others how to get to heaven. Who gave these guys the keys to the gates. If anyone holds the keys to the gates, you can bet I don't want to enter there.
Good luck with the writing.
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Must be nice to feel you can stand at the gate and judge everyone according to your rule book. Who made you judge, A.?
Or who made you the interpretor of God's rules? I think it's rather patronizing and self-righteous for anyone to stand aside, as if they don't belong to the ranks of common mortals, and tell others how to get to heaven. Who gave these guys the keys to the gates. If anyone holds the keys to the gates, you can bet I don't want to enter there.
Good luck with the writing.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from William Walz
I constantly try to wade through these muddy waters. I can't agree with your personal philosophy, but I try to follow as best I can what you are trying to convey, which is difficult at best.
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I constantly try to wade through these muddy waters. I can't agree with your personal philosophy, but I try to follow as best I can what you are trying to convey, which is difficult at best.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from AlvinTEthington
At least for me, the laconic quality of the work gives it a judgmental tone with which I, as a reader, am uncomfortable. It implies that believing in God is about going to Heaven or Hell and does not give examples of living one's faith. The conclusion seems incomplete and does not either give information of where to find these pamphlets or what the further information about God or Heaven is. There are no quotes from religious literature. The work needs to be fleshed out, be more descriptive, and give examples. You do point out well the beauty of Heaven.
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At least for me, the laconic quality of the work gives it a judgmental tone with which I, as a reader, am uncomfortable. It implies that believing in God is about going to Heaven or Hell and does not give examples of living one's faith. The conclusion seems incomplete and does not either give information of where to find these pamphlets or what the further information about God or Heaven is. There are no quotes from religious literature. The work needs to be fleshed out, be more descriptive, and give examples. You do point out well the beauty of Heaven.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Ha anyone suggested that you play in the mortal world? I'm sorry for you, I really am. I sense a person in extreme pain and you are using all your resources to scream at the universe.
When you run out of money, you will still need guidance to organize your thoughts. Money can't buy clarity and worse, in your case, you have not demonstrated any conviction in your writing.
I'm sure you're swirling in a spiral, spewing words and wishing you could stop being dizzy.
Am I the only person to tell you this isn't working>
Whoever you are, trust me, you can even publish books if you have enough money, but FS is not the place for you to attract attention for a nervous breakdown.
Good luck, reach out to mortal beings for the balance yo need.
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Ha anyone suggested that you play in the mortal world? I'm sorry for you, I really am. I sense a person in extreme pain and you are using all your resources to scream at the universe.
When you run out of money, you will still need guidance to organize your thoughts. Money can't buy clarity and worse, in your case, you have not demonstrated any conviction in your writing.
I'm sure you're swirling in a spiral, spewing words and wishing you could stop being dizzy.
Am I the only person to tell you this isn't working>
Whoever you are, trust me, you can even publish books if you have enough money, but FS is not the place for you to attract attention for a nervous breakdown.
Good luck, reach out to mortal beings for the balance yo need.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from MelReyn
I like your opening. I feel like you are trying to speak directly to me. That always draws me in.
Still have issues with the way you use some words, but for the most part felt this was clearer than the other works of yours that I've looked at. Keep up the hard work!
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I like your opening. I feel like you are trying to speak directly to me. That always draws me in.
Still have issues with the way you use some words, but for the most part felt this was clearer than the other works of yours that I've looked at. Keep up the hard work!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from PrincessinPurple
I have read this and I have found no errors which need to be change. Dreams are good to have. It's an interesting read to say the least.
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I have read this and I have found no errors which need to be change. Dreams are good to have. It's an interesting read to say the least.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from Darkhorse555
as fate examines wishing to be happy finds heaven in gods light fate has been dealt the day you were born a very enjoyable insight lovely piece
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as fate examines wishing to be happy finds heaven in gods light fate has been dealt the day you were born a very enjoyable insight lovely piece
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from Rubylou
I like you story. The line that resonates with me the most is, " ... they are billions on their dark lane to Hell." I saw a picture once of people walking on a laid down cross from Earth to the fiery pit. There was a large gap in between. This line reminded me of it. Nicely done.
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I like you story. The line that resonates with me the most is, " ... they are billions on their dark lane to Hell." I saw a picture once of people walking on a laid down cross from Earth to the fiery pit. There was a large gap in between. This line reminded me of it. Nicely done.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
Comment from Dawn Munro
Well, nicely written, for the most part, and certainly a testament to your faith. I agree that only God will decide, and judgement should be left to Him, though there seem to be many who feel qualified to judge others...
Good job. Keep writing!
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Well, nicely written, for the most part, and certainly a testament to your faith. I agree that only God will decide, and judgement should be left to Him, though there seem to be many who feel qualified to judge others...
Good job. Keep writing!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
