Choose War or Peace
Pl read Author Notes. A Non-Fiction in 141 words. Words invi89 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
The words of war come spewing forth
and always sound the same
They claim to be all in God's worth
and that they're meant to tame
Alas a word can bend the truth
and issue demands most uncouth
  |
The words of war come spewing forth
and always sound the same
They claim to be all in God's worth
and that they're meant to tame
Alas a word can bend the truth
and issue demands most uncouth
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. It reads a lot like a poem and has an interesting rhythm. None the less, it was well stated and shared a good deal of truth. Good work and good luck.
Mai Mai
|
This is an interesting piece. It reads a lot like a poem and has an interesting rhythm. None the less, it was well stated and shared a good deal of truth. Good work and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from elchupakabra
I was a little on the fence with this story, I quite like the idea and the laconic structure of the story. However, there were certain parts I feel could have been worded differently, or words that were often repeated that could have been replaced with effective synonyms. This is what kept me from rating this work higher, however I still felt it was quite a good piece.
 |
I was a little on the fence with this story, I quite like the idea and the laconic structure of the story. However, there were certain parts I feel could have been worded differently, or words that were often repeated that could have been replaced with effective synonyms. This is what kept me from rating this work higher, however I still felt it was quite a good piece.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from chasennov
'Choose War Or Peace.' Ignorance of using words unwisely should not only be disallowed, but should definitely be banned indefinitely. Your words should reflect you.
|
'Choose War Or Peace.' Ignorance of using words unwisely should not only be disallowed, but should definitely be banned indefinitely. Your words should reflect you.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer delivers a message that is profound and full of knowledge and wisdom. These are the type of messages that I'm 100% down for. Everyone has the right to choose. How and what will you choose?
|
The writer delivers a message that is profound and full of knowledge and wisdom. These are the type of messages that I'm 100% down for. Everyone has the right to choose. How and what will you choose?
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from The Death
Hello
It's a fact that words play a very critical part in making or deteriorating relations.they must be used correctly with wisdom.
Regards
Shar-A
|
Hello
It's a fact that words play a very critical part in making or deteriorating relations.they must be used correctly with wisdom.
Regards
Shar-A
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from TLPhillips
I agree with the concept, people really should spend more time thinking about their words before sharing them. Whether spoken or written, more people need to stop and think about how their words will be received by their intended audience. If more people did this, there would be a great deal less disputes in the world.
However, I found this piece to be repetitive to the point of boredom and zoned a bit after the third line. Most of what you pointed out, I consider common sense. But putting that aside and imagining that it's not, still leaves me feeling like you just keep repeating the same things in different ways. For a piece on word choice, it was sorely lacking in the word choice department for me.
You definitely have the potential to have something good here, it just needs a bit more polish. Thank you for sharing. Good Luck and Happy Writing.
|
I agree with the concept, people really should spend more time thinking about their words before sharing them. Whether spoken or written, more people need to stop and think about how their words will be received by their intended audience. If more people did this, there would be a great deal less disputes in the world.
However, I found this piece to be repetitive to the point of boredom and zoned a bit after the third line. Most of what you pointed out, I consider common sense. But putting that aside and imagining that it's not, still leaves me feeling like you just keep repeating the same things in different ways. For a piece on word choice, it was sorely lacking in the word choice department for me.
You definitely have the potential to have something good here, it just needs a bit more polish. Thank you for sharing. Good Luck and Happy Writing.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from amarherig14
A very good message in your essay.Words have to be used carefully,the right words bring harmony , the wrong ones cause hurt and anger. We should seek peace at all times, wars and hate are not the right to live. I understood your words clearly.
|
A very good message in your essay.Words have to be used carefully,the right words bring harmony , the wrong ones cause hurt and anger. We should seek peace at all times, wars and hate are not the right to live. I understood your words clearly.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from Zue65
This is a non-fiction article in 141 words wherein you categorized words according to its function and how the words are used. The comparative analysis of the two opposing functions as in "words restore peace or invite war" , is a good punchline for an introduction, but what you promised in the beginning sentence may be explored even in two separate paragraphs focusing on the war effect of words first and the second paragraph on the peace effect of words. The in between subjects which are complementary to war and peace, like courtesy maybe infused in the two major paragraphs to give direction and focus to your article. The last sentence is an adequate conclusion that will seal the points explored in the introduction. God bless.
|
This is a non-fiction article in 141 words wherein you categorized words according to its function and how the words are used. The comparative analysis of the two opposing functions as in "words restore peace or invite war" , is a good punchline for an introduction, but what you promised in the beginning sentence may be explored even in two separate paragraphs focusing on the war effect of words first and the second paragraph on the peace effect of words. The in between subjects which are complementary to war and peace, like courtesy maybe infused in the two major paragraphs to give direction and focus to your article. The last sentence is an adequate conclusion that will seal the points explored in the introduction. God bless.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this essay about the weight that words carry and how we should learn to carry them wisely...
|
this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this essay about the weight that words carry and how we should learn to carry them wisely...
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
