A Thousand Wishes Spun
Iambic pentameter15 total reviews
Comment from 9999pool
Upon this walk on earth, there is more ugliness to see as with many beauty.
Inside our minds, we wish for everything nice and good for humanity but somehow, the sun is always blocked from shining onto our paths.
We are all trapped between these two walls and the only way is forward or reversing backwards to the darker side which we have seen.
We can also stop and not move but that will get us nowhere. Given the options, at least there is hope that one day soon, we will see what we want to see, to believe in the 'impossible' things.
A stunning write about the path we are forced to take as life is never free within the constraints and boundaries. Somehow we have to move on - to find a life worthwhile to pursue despite the gloom and the doom!
Cheerio, bro Ritchie.
P.S. Hugs to you and your beautiful wife - in case you have forgotten you have indeed found her to be your daily sunshine and beauty, smiles.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Upon this walk on earth, there is more ugliness to see as with many beauty.
Inside our minds, we wish for everything nice and good for humanity but somehow, the sun is always blocked from shining onto our paths.
We are all trapped between these two walls and the only way is forward or reversing backwards to the darker side which we have seen.
We can also stop and not move but that will get us nowhere. Given the options, at least there is hope that one day soon, we will see what we want to see, to believe in the 'impossible' things.
A stunning write about the path we are forced to take as life is never free within the constraints and boundaries. Somehow we have to move on - to find a life worthwhile to pursue despite the gloom and the doom!
Cheerio, bro Ritchie.
P.S. Hugs to you and your beautiful wife - in case you have forgotten you have indeed found her to be your daily sunshine and beauty, smiles.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Ritchie truly thank you. Once again you have brightened my world. Yes she is my sunshine. That is why I want to learn to live in the now, to better appreciate the moment. I love my life. I didn't when I was younger but I have everything I could have ever wanted now. Its time to live in the moment. I truly truly thank you for this review. It is absolutely humbling and appreciated my friend. Really...
Comment from tedanytime
Good contest entry to reveal your flaw.
Recognition is a good start.
I once thought there was a wall between a lady and myself. Although it seemed we must join our lives the wall persisted.
As time proceeded, and our lives revealed to the other, it seemed that the wall had not really been a wall,
it really was a bridge abutment joining our lives.
Strange, no?
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Good contest entry to reveal your flaw.
Recognition is a good start.
I once thought there was a wall between a lady and myself. Although it seemed we must join our lives the wall persisted.
As time proceeded, and our lives revealed to the other, it seemed that the wall had not really been a wall,
it really was a bridge abutment joining our lives.
Strange, no?
Comment Written 14-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Wow, I Kove that analogy. Very cool. Thank you so much for this review. I'm truly grateful for your comments.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Bravo to you for explaining where you are coming from with your poem. So many people write these elaborate poems and if you can't get in their head forget about giving an intelligent review. An even better poem after you explained it. GOOD JOB! Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Bravo to you for explaining where you are coming from with your poem. So many people write these elaborate poems and if you can't get in their head forget about giving an intelligent review. An even better poem after you explained it. GOOD JOB! Nancy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Thank you! I'm glad it helped with the explanation. I was kind of shy to write it but I wanted to reveal myself a little. I'm new here but everyone is so kind. You are a perfect example of that. Thank you Nancy, truly.
Comment from MoonMuse
Your view may be through a negative eye, but your words are beautiful my friend. Nice job with the prompt, and a great job with the form.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Your view may be through a negative eye, but your words are beautiful my friend. Nice job with the prompt, and a great job with the form.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you so very much. I really appreciate such kind words. I'm trying to be more positive ;)
Comment from Curly Girly
Gregory, your profile picture is lovely. How can you have a negative outlook with such a beautiful wife?
Perhaps I am like you. I find it hard to appreciate this world sometimes. Creation is wonderful, but city life is so far removed from it. And it is such a pity.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Gregory, your profile picture is lovely. How can you have a negative outlook with such a beautiful wife?
Perhaps I am like you. I find it hard to appreciate this world sometimes. Creation is wonderful, but city life is so far removed from it. And it is such a pity.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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I absolutely agree. That is why I started therapy. I grew up very badly, alone in a survival mode. Now though, I don't need that mode. I need to relearn how to view the world, how to truly see beauty and appreciate everything God has given me. I am trying! I wrote an iambic pentameter on how there are "walks" that block me from seeing beauty (flaw writing prompt). Ill beat them, break them down!
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Good, that's the way to go.
Comment from SteveY
The eyes of your intuition sure appear to be opened! Excellent job of "seeing" what others cannot. You see with deep poetic words that help unravel the mystery of life!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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The eyes of your intuition sure appear to be opened! Excellent job of "seeing" what others cannot. You see with deep poetic words that help unravel the mystery of life!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much! That's such a wonderful compliment. Really, thank you so very much.
Comment from nancyjam
this is a powerful poem of self-reflection.
As they say, the first step in changing faults is recognizing
them so your poetry may be the beginning of this change to
a more positive look at life.
Excellent meter and strong rhyme. Vivid images to convey
mood and emotion.
Well done. Now, smile! Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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this is a powerful poem of self-reflection.
As they say, the first step in changing faults is recognizing
them so your poetry may be the beginning of this change to
a more positive look at life.
Excellent meter and strong rhyme. Vivid images to convey
mood and emotion.
Well done. Now, smile! Nancy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Haha thank you so much. Yes this was a personal one. The winning poem was very upbeat and happy. Maybe I should I write a little cheerier? ;)
Well it said to write about a flaw. That's my biggest. BUT I Am overcoming it! I see the beauty in this review ;)
Really, thank you very much for reading Nancy. This Does make me smile.
Comment from Gungalo
A blurry dance of demons grinning, stout
Disguises mask my brothers' faces numb
My life has lived a thousand wishes spun
I see in one direction ~ always doubt
This is awesome Greg and you have done it. Pentameter is there. Great telling of this and a wonderful close.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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A blurry dance of demons grinning, stout
Disguises mask my brothers' faces numb
My life has lived a thousand wishes spun
I see in one direction ~ always doubt
This is awesome Greg and you have done it. Pentameter is there. Great telling of this and a wonderful close.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Wow coming from You that means a lot. This is a new style for me. I used to only write free style but am now trying all styles. I just completed my first sonnet "A Perfection's Worth". I'm honored that you have taken the time to review my work. Really. The sonnet has a certificate on it if you are interested (do Not feel obligated by any means). Truly thank you for the kind words.
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Okay Greg, I'll check it out.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
A deep, introspective poem, GregoryCody! Much thought has been given to this write. It is very well written and well presented.
Much of what the author states causes the reader to pause and ponder what has been written here. My fave line .... "these walls were walking back beyond my past" ... brilliant line! The fact that you are able to recognize "your flaw" means that you are already breaking down those walls and starting to see the beauty.
Well done! Best wishes for the contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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A deep, introspective poem, GregoryCody! Much thought has been given to this write. It is very well written and well presented.
Much of what the author states causes the reader to pause and ponder what has been written here. My fave line .... "these walls were walking back beyond my past" ... brilliant line! The fact that you are able to recognize "your flaw" means that you are already breaking down those walls and starting to see the beauty.
Well done! Best wishes for the contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Wow thank you so much for reading so deeply into it, as I said you are always insightful and kind. Yeah, the walls block my line of sight and have been there my entire life, looking back. I truly appreciate your review it means a great deal to me. thank you, I wish I could still nominate your terrific review.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
I am not an expert on iambic pentemeter but it seems very well done to me.
The thought and crativity you have used have produced a great poem.
The imagery and language are well done.
i really like your concept and your style of completing this prompt.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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I am not an expert on iambic pentemeter but it seems very well done to me.
The thought and crativity you have used have produced a great poem.
The imagery and language are well done.
i really like your concept and your style of completing this prompt.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thanks so very much. Yeah iambic pentameter is still pretty new to me, my passion is a free verse, but it came out better to me in this form. It just has to have five couples of stressed/unstressed syllables (I'm sure you know). It was a personal poem and a "flaw" I truly hope to get past! It means a lot that you read it and enjoyed it my friend, thank you.
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You are welcome. I am naturally a rhymer so I am trying to expand to other styles. I did give iambic pentameter a try but I'm not quite there yet.The rhyming on the end got me.
I do enjoy this meter though.
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Yes I only started posting here in May and I had only written free verse, mostly internal rhymes and subtle rhyming throughout, but with consistent flow. Then I realized how many styles there were. So I've been trying out a new style every other day or week, etc. some are harder than others. The hardest so far was the sonnet. You should give some a go! I had a good teacher for iambic and trochaic though so I can easily help you if you ever want. Its actually pretty fun. Like;
My name is Greg and writing's fun
da DUM da DUM da DUMda DUM
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You would just need 5 of (da DUM). So it would be ten syllables in total. 5 equals penta : iambic pentameter.
Trochaic tetrameter is the same but starts DUM da and you need 4 of them. Tetra equals 4.
I'm sure you know this, please don't be annoyed if so. It actually helps ME to explain it.
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Yeah, I understand the syllable count and meter but there was something about the ends of alternate lines rhyming and I just hae to spend some more time on putting one together.
Thanks for your offer of help -I'll keep you in mind.
