My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Passions Fulfilled!"All of my poems of release.
10 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
A beautiful lovers lullaby filled with tender moments and one to treasure forever. The power of words is amazing and the depth of feeling truly conveyed here JC. Well done.
Cheers P
x
Apologies for bulk reviewing but I'm only here in chunks of time at a time...fits and spurts ya know? LOL
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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A beautiful lovers lullaby filled with tender moments and one to treasure forever. The power of words is amazing and the depth of feeling truly conveyed here JC. Well done.
Cheers P
x
Apologies for bulk reviewing but I'm only here in chunks of time at a time...fits and spurts ya know? LOL
Comment Written 03-May-2013
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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LMAO, fits and spurts sounds OK to me. ;-)
I was told it was cliche and received a 2 for it, but hey ho, each to their own. I'm not here to please some, I'm here for me and the people that matter. Of which you are one missus. Glad you liked it. :) Jaq xx
Comment from PoeticXscape
I enjoyed how you compared the act of sex to riding a crashing wave. This was a deep, passionate poem of love. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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I enjoyed how you compared the act of sex to riding a crashing wave. This was a deep, passionate poem of love. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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Thanks PX your review means a lot. Jaq x
Comment from Indie Skreet
although you know you made a mistake and posted this as an abab, I can't judge it on this, because it is a beautiful love poem which I found to be so very touching. So from me my darling, it can only be a six star rating, love it, love you, Indie xx
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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although you know you made a mistake and posted this as an abab, I can't judge it on this, because it is a beautiful love poem which I found to be so very touching. So from me my darling, it can only be a six star rating, love it, love you, Indie xx
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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I know Indie, I'm trying to get it pulled from the competition as we speak. I am so glad you liked the poem anyway. I value your reviews as your knowledge far surpasses some on here. Two poets I greatly respect have sixed it on content, that's good enough for me. :) Jaq x
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all I can say Hun, is the one that gave a low rating has NO IDEA! There is not one cliched line in hers - it is perfect. xx
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Thanks Indie, you know I'm not the most confident but I do now think that was unfair. Thanks for your continued support. Love n hugs, Jaq xx
Comment from Rondeno
What a gorgeous love poem! The vocabulary is perfectly-chosen, and the mood is both tender and erotic. Delightful. Very well done indeed!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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What a gorgeous love poem! The vocabulary is perfectly-chosen, and the mood is both tender and erotic. Delightful. Very well done indeed!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review Meehal :) Jaq xx
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Talk to me, sweetie
Comment from Gungalo
Together we'll ride the stormy sea
of passions crashing wave,
we'll glide across excitement's crest
to find that love we crave.
This one seems to me to be a bit on the forced side girl. It has all the romance needed but, I guess it's your words.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Together we'll ride the stormy sea
of passions crashing wave,
we'll glide across excitement's crest
to find that love we crave.
This one seems to me to be a bit on the forced side girl. It has all the romance needed but, I guess it's your words.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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It was what I wanted to portray it G but I guess it's not doing it correctly. Thanks for your review :) Jaq x
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Smile.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is very well written my friend it reads so smoothly and the rhyming is perfect adding so much feeling to the work I enjoyed well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Yes this is very well written my friend it reads so smoothly and the rhyming is perfect adding so much feeling to the work I enjoyed well done regards Jill
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Cheers Jill I've mucked up though I didn't read the contest rules properly x
Comment from Julia.
Dear, poet, I'm sorry for the initial low score, but this poem doesn't meet the contest requirements. The contest requires an ABAB poem, and this is an ABCB poem--meaning that you have rhymed the second and fourth lines of each stanza, but not the first and third. If you decide to edit this to meet the requirements, please PM me and I'd be happy to raise the rating.
If you do edit, here is something to consider: The poem discusses love and lust which is a popular topic and one very relevant to basic human existence and interactions. However, much of imagery you've chosen is cliche, and the poem would be stronger if it were more original. I did like, "our needs we won't mistrust" and "I want to lie against your skin" (<-- I have almost the same line in a poem of mine. :) )
Again, please feel free to PM me if you change this!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Dear, poet, I'm sorry for the initial low score, but this poem doesn't meet the contest requirements. The contest requires an ABAB poem, and this is an ABCB poem--meaning that you have rhymed the second and fourth lines of each stanza, but not the first and third. If you decide to edit this to meet the requirements, please PM me and I'd be happy to raise the rating.
If you do edit, here is something to consider: The poem discusses love and lust which is a popular topic and one very relevant to basic human existence and interactions. However, much of imagery you've chosen is cliche, and the poem would be stronger if it were more original. I did like, "our needs we won't mistrust" and "I want to lie against your skin" (<-- I have almost the same line in a poem of mine. :) )
Again, please feel free to PM me if you change this!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Aww damn so it is. I'll pull it from the contest. I read it wrong x
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No problem. Happens to all of us from time to time. :) Maybe Tom will let you repost it separate from the contest and then write another entry for the contest.
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Yeah I've pm'd him thanks xx
Comment from alexgeorge
Excellent poem. The rhymes are very good. It's short, lusty and punchy. The picture compliments the work well also.
Gets to the point quickly and effectively.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Excellent poem. The rhymes are very good. It's short, lusty and punchy. The picture compliments the work well also.
Gets to the point quickly and effectively.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much for a wonderful review, it's much appreciated. :) Jaq x
Comment from simplyteresa
A wonderful poem so full of passion and emotion, while presenting a side of tenderness as well. Good luck in the contest.
The picture you have with this sets a very strong tone for your poem.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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A wonderful poem so full of passion and emotion, while presenting a side of tenderness as well. Good luck in the contest.
The picture you have with this sets a very strong tone for your poem.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much Teresa, your words mean a lot. :) Jaq x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Jaq, a strong work penned with great emotion and imagery that creates a sense of passion and need.
Your rhyming is spot on and guides the reader with a steady flow. I enjoyed it - great job my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Hi Jaq, a strong work penned with great emotion and imagery that creates a sense of passion and need.
Your rhyming is spot on and guides the reader with a steady flow. I enjoyed it - great job my friend.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Thanks Maureen, I'm glad it flows well as I'm not great at meter...lol.
As always your review is much appreciated my friend. Hugs, Jaq xxx
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I'm not the greatest at it either:)
Hugs
M
