Comment from GeraldS

Excellent

Interesting piece. The "Author Notes" are absolutely essential to an understanding of this narrative. The story reads well. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Thank you much, Gerald.

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

You feast us with some fine, primordial imagery. It reminds me of ancient religious paintings, icons, on the walls of ancient caves, all over Zimbabwe. These symbols make deities of wild game and are worshipped by the Bushmen. It might sound primitive. I like to think of it as going back in the mists of time. Your image of the moon filling the cave is particularly striking. Your label of the feminine deity as Spider woman is a bit anti climatic. The delicate Preying mantis who devours her spouse is far more uncanny.
-Ekim777

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Thanks so much for your valuable input and generous review, Ekim. I appreciate your time and interest. Bev

Comment from Perp Ihebom

Excellent

This is a nice piece of writing that tells a story that must have taken a long time to unfold in a very few words. It will be nice to read more about this spider woman. kudos

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Thanks, Perp. I hope you will check out the Hopi belief system. Quite fascinating people. Some say they are the keepers of the world, as we know it. Much like the Aboriginal peoples. I appreciate your supportive insights. Bev

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

An incredible entry for this 55 word contest. You said and described so much in so few words. Great author notes too. I didn't know that and learned something new today :) Best wishes to you in this contest!

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 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Thanks so much, Joy. I've always loved the Hopi view of life and creation. Glad you enjoyed learning a little of it. Your generosity and support mean a lot. Hugs, Bev

Comment from seewhatimwritingnow

Excellent

LOL- This is one (55 word 'story') that I have not tackled. You, my dear, have done it very well- and managed to write an understandable and visual story! Lanza going into an ancient cave to inspect a drawing- finds himself confronted (and no doubt eaten) by the SPIDER WOMAN! (at first I thought this would be Spider man's wife-lol) Thanks for sharing and entertaining our minds. LOVED it! Betty

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 Comment Written 19-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Hi, Betty. Thanks for your generous review! I think you would do extremely well with this contest. There's still two days to enter.

I appreciate your time and interest.

:0) Bev

reply by seewhatimwritingnow on 19-Mar-2013

Am I wrong, or was this title 'Spider Woman'? I could have swore it was...
As far as writing a 55 word story- I may take a stab at it. :) Betty

reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Hi, Betty. No, you are correct. But you mentioned Spider woman in your review and I realized that name has certain connotations for the modern reviewer, so I went with a different term, same meaning.

reply by seewhatimwritingnow on 19-Mar-2013

Spider Woman was much better (in my opinion) That title is what caught my eye. Betty

reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013

Thanks, Betty.