All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 82 "Breathe Deep, My Sweet"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
7 total reviews
Comment from words
The repeating nature of this form worked well to drive this question home.
What DO we do when our kids are gone? (Anything we darn well please ..he he he).
I especially liked
Breathe deep, my sweet, because tonight
Our house is empty, sons are grown,
We'll see each other in new light.
In is interesting when the focus is thrown back on each other after all of the years of child rearing.
You posed the question well.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2013
The repeating nature of this form worked well to drive this question home.
What DO we do when our kids are gone? (Anything we darn well please ..he he he).
I especially liked
Breathe deep, my sweet, because tonight
Our house is empty, sons are grown,
We'll see each other in new light.
In is interesting when the focus is thrown back on each other after all of the years of child rearing.
You posed the question well.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2013
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that's so sweet of you to review for two cents d! Yes, it certainly is an interesting focus shift! :)S
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author,
Very cute! I enjoyed this triolet. I especially like this line,
"Breathe deep, my sweet, because tonight" ... this leads into the repeat of those first two lines.
The kids are gone, house is quiet, no intrusions... ah, such bliss, eh? Not if you were us... me with ED, my wife dried up, and four cats who pop in any time they feel like it! It's God's little joke. At least we can laugh about it.
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
Hi Mystery Author,
Very cute! I enjoyed this triolet. I especially like this line,
"Breathe deep, my sweet, because tonight" ... this leads into the repeat of those first two lines.
The kids are gone, house is quiet, no intrusions... ah, such bliss, eh? Not if you were us... me with ED, my wife dried up, and four cats who pop in any time they feel like it! It's God's little joke. At least we can laugh about it.
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thx so much Kimbob - can't resist being a little cheeky, even in triolet! (And no, me neither - I have EIGHT college students staying with us at the moment! DON'T ASK! :))))))))))))
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Did you win the contest? I voted for your poem.
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bless you my dear - no - missed by one vote! :)) but thank you so much for voting for me my dear!
Comment from beccabootie123
very true. been there done that. perfect entry for the contest. good luck love the picture and color palate all plays to theme of the piece well
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
very true. been there done that. perfect entry for the contest. good luck love the picture and color palate all plays to theme of the piece well
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx so much - becca
Comment from Bina1
I think we get so busy being parents and family, we forget to be a couple. A nice reminder there is more to life than raising the family, life continues! Thank you for sharing, a fine poem. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
I think we get so busy being parents and family, we forget to be a couple. A nice reminder there is more to life than raising the family, life continues! Thank you for sharing, a fine poem. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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we do, Bina - indeed we do!
Comment from JuneYvonne
I love this (and can really empathise!) It's sad to see the children leave home but hey - it's not all bad is it?!!
Your triolet is well written with strong meter and the correct rhyme scheme (thank you for adhering to iambic tetrameter as requested), and I love the inclusion of humor in this. Your choice of illustration also perfectly enhances your words.
It's going to be hard to pick a winner in this contest, but this will be right up there I'm sure. Good luck and thank you for entering.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
I love this (and can really empathise!) It's sad to see the children leave home but hey - it's not all bad is it?!!
Your triolet is well written with strong meter and the correct rhyme scheme (thank you for adhering to iambic tetrameter as requested), and I love the inclusion of humor in this. Your choice of illustration also perfectly enhances your words.
It's going to be hard to pick a winner in this contest, but this will be right up there I'm sure. Good luck and thank you for entering.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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June, thank you SO much for your lovely six on this one!! It was so funny - I had it written in iambic pentameter, then thought ... hmmm ... better double check as I know tetrameter is traditional ... glad I checked! Thank you for hosting this one - I love triolets!
Comment from linsbm
As simple as the message, but the cheers and harmony liven your heart and joyful into a more beautiful home.
Very lovely photo fits for the write.
Excellent structure and format of a Triolet poem
An enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
As simple as the message, but the cheers and harmony liven your heart and joyful into a more beautiful home.
Very lovely photo fits for the write.
Excellent structure and format of a Triolet poem
An enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx very much linsbm!
Comment from Candyjean
Love this triolet, it brought a story into light. There. Is hope for an empty nest, as soon it is filled with the voices of grandchildren. At least mine was. Loved the picture that went with the poem.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
Love this triolet, it brought a story into light. There. Is hope for an empty nest, as soon it is filled with the voices of grandchildren. At least mine was. Loved the picture that went with the poem.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much Cj!