Eating Mommy's Sandwich
Sung to the tune: I've been workin on the railroad32 total reviews
Comment from samandlancelot
John,
This was so cute. That little girl in your profile is adorable. Now I can understand why kids make such a fuss in stores, now that you've shared from their point of view. Nicely done!
Patricia
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
  |
John,
This was so cute. That little girl in your profile is adorable. Now I can understand why kids make such a fuss in stores, now that you've shared from their point of view. Nicely done!
Patricia
Comment Written 12-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2013
-
The little girl in my profile is the same girl with the sandwich, my granddaughter Aiden. She's an inspiration to a few stories I've posted. She'll be a big sister any day now. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
Comment from Gungalo
Well John it goes to show you've been thinking some for Aiden. Usually kids end up with the raw end of the stick. Carrot sticks. Ohhh yuck.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
|
Well John it goes to show you've been thinking some for Aiden. Usually kids end up with the raw end of the stick. Carrot sticks. Ohhh yuck.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
-
Carrot sticks and kids in the same sentence??? Nah!!! Thanks for reading and sharing. I appreciate it. JohnnyD
-
SMile
Comment from PoeticXscape
This is so sweet and loving for children. I loved the happy, fun expressions used in the description of the piece. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
|
This is so sweet and loving for children. I loved the happy, fun expressions used in the description of the piece. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for the kind words and generous review. John
Comment from JeffreyStone
Cute. You do a very nice job of describing what happened at the food court through the words of your eighteen month old. I'm sure she will enjoy hearing the song as much as you will singing it to her.
Thanks for sharing. JeffreyStone
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
 |
Cute. You do a very nice job of describing what happened at the food court through the words of your eighteen month old. I'm sure she will enjoy hearing the song as much as you will singing it to her.
Thanks for sharing. JeffreyStone
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
With the nice write up I was surprised by the 4 stars. Whet can be done in your mind to make it higher? John
-
John:
I'm not sure. Even though stories about small children are cute (as is this one), I don't thinkthe story goes anywhere. No middle, no ending e.g.. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? It was a good little story and I enjoyed the read including the lyrics. Best Regards, Jeffery
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Looks like Aiden is doing just fine with that sandwich. I thoroughly enjoyed the story from her POV, and the song is priceless. well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Looks like Aiden is doing just fine with that sandwich. I thoroughly enjoyed the story from her POV, and the song is priceless. well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you Nancy. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my story, John
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh this is absolutely adorable! I have one tiny edit for you: "...chips and pickles? Th(e)n we're talkin'." You have written something very creative here, in my opinion - your narrative is just about the cutest thing I've read in a long time, and no doubt, just what that eighteen-month-old is thinking, too. Excellent read!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Oh this is absolutely adorable! I have one tiny edit for you: "...chips and pickles? Th(e)n we're talkin'." You have written something very creative here, in my opinion - your narrative is just about the cutest thing I've read in a long time, and no doubt, just what that eighteen-month-old is thinking, too. Excellent read!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much Dawn for your kind review, generous stars and positive feedback. I appreciate it. John
Comment from fayesh
This is a cute story about what goes on in the mind of a toddler. I think, at first I was a bit confused because I thought there were four other people with the toddler. Rather than say:
1.I'm at the mall with my mommy and daddy, Christina and Rob.
Change to: with my mom, Christina, and my dad, Rob.
OR: just say: "with Mom and Dad.
2. Word usage error: "(Than) we're talkin'" s/b "Then"
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
This is a cute story about what goes on in the mind of a toddler. I think, at first I was a bit confused because I thought there were four other people with the toddler. Rather than say:
1.I'm at the mall with my mommy and daddy, Christina and Rob.
Change to: with my mom, Christina, and my dad, Rob.
OR: just say: "with Mom and Dad.
2. Word usage error: "(Than) we're talkin'" s/b "Then"
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you Fayesh for reading and commenting. I understand your point on the 4 people and will change. Thought I already made the other change. Thanks again, much appreciated, John
Comment from Chanphy
This is the cutest thing. It is just so entertaining. I like the fact that you offered the baby fruit loops, but she prefers the sandwich. Who wouldn't? Including the song is perfect. I was actually singing it to the tune you suggested.It was perfect.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
This is the cutest thing. It is just so entertaining. I like the fact that you offered the baby fruit loops, but she prefers the sandwich. Who wouldn't? Including the song is perfect. I was actually singing it to the tune you suggested.It was perfect.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thanks Chanphy for your time in reading and sharing. John
Comment from 4tulips
This is a great poem. I think her mouth is too small to wrap around that sandwich. It was a fun poem to read to my kids. Thanks for posting it here for all of us to read too.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
This is a great poem. I think her mouth is too small to wrap around that sandwich. It was a fun poem to read to my kids. Thanks for posting it here for all of us to read too.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you 4tulips for your time in reading and sharing. Hope your kids enjoyed... John
Comment from Doc Holiday
Makes for a good story, but an even better commercial for Subway! They can offer to sell baby bubs, which are nothing more than smaller subs. Great picture! Send it in to Jerod. What do you have to lose....Very funny!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
|
Makes for a good story, but an even better commercial for Subway! They can offer to sell baby bubs, which are nothing more than smaller subs. Great picture! Send it in to Jerod. What do you have to lose....Very funny!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
-
Doc, in perfect honesty, that thought never crossed my mind. After I read your comments (btw, thank you) I am now thinking about that. Thank you for your time and comments. John
